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57 to 61 - question about a new relationship

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padma

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I just met a guy who does not have much free time because of work, and is also quite younger than me (+10 years).
I feel trapped in a relationship I 'm already in, and I really like this person. I am reluctant to make serious changes, because he is young, and I know him too little.
So I got 57 changing to 61 - lines changing 1st and 3rd. Any ideas?
Thanks in advance !
 
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padma

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Thank you for your interest! I just asked what are the energies emerging in this story, and if I can trust this guy.
 

equinox

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Is it he or you who doesn't know what they want? I guess, according to your EP it must be you?
I-Ching is throwing back the question to you. It doesn't say if you can trust this guy, I think it says, you should trust yourself, your inner truth (hex 61).
It is understandable that you are in insecure, he is way younger than you and this is still unusual in patriarchal societies. Relationships like that have to deal with judgement from the outside and worries of the surrounding like "Don't you think he will leave you for a younger woman in a few years..." Better don't listen to them. You are already well aware of the situation.

And its understandable that you are cautious with somebody that you don't know well. But don't overdo the thinking, or better said stop overdoing it. A sound common sense never hurts, but don't let the doubts be so loud that you overhear what your heart is trying to tell you.
 

equinox

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Wait -- I don't understand. Are you already feeling trapped in this relationship or with somebody else?

And is he really working so hard or do you fear that this is an excuse because he is unsure as well?
 
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padma

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Thank you for your responses! I am already in a long term relationship, in which I feel trapped. I met this new guy, for whom I threw the coins. And I am getting a bit of mixed messages from him, although I feel swept...
 

equinox

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Even if it sounds hard -- what about bringing your relationship to an end first, independently from the story with the other guy? I don't know why the other, the younger guy is giving you mixed messages, but the fact that you are already commited could be a possible reason.
I think situations like this are often a stalemate: One doesn't really want to commit, because their counterpart is still in another relationship, while the other one doesn't want to end the current relationship, because they can't know if it will work out with the new relationship.
Therefore I think a clear cut, to straighten things out with the old relationship would be the best step.
I know that wasn't exactly your question. But your result 57.1.3>61 mainly shows a lot of indeciveness to the point of paralysis and the difficulty to recognise your true feelings.
Maybe others here have something helpful to add.
 

suryauday

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57 is all about gentle penetrate to the core of the problem. 57.1 states your indecisive state of mind and 57.3 states that repeated thoughts on a particular situation without weighing the pros and cons or going into the real source of the problem could complicate the situation. The resulting hexagram 61 is inner sincerity meaning that the combination or the process of your thoughts in your mind (57.1 & 57.3) will not result in bringing you in a situation of uneasiness. My advise is that change your thought process by thinking of different permutation and combination and ask the oracle again you will get more clarity on this issue.
 
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padma

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Thank both of you so much! This story I'm in is really weird... and it is VERY hard to make a decision.
 

equinox

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Ya, it sounds really difficult. I hope that you find a solution for that dilemma soon.
 

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