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6.5>64 relationship with mother

sunharmony

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I asked Yi to show what I needed to know about my relationship with my mother.

6.5 seems to say that arguing is good.

This is challenging but not surprising because I have noticed my mother becoming meaner to me and my father in recent years and have wondered whether or not to have a talk with her about it. This reading seems to suggest that I should.
 

Viru10

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I asked Yi to show what I needed to know about my relationship with my mother.

6.5 seems to say that arguing is good.

It does read like that. Though perhaps not that it will lead to a resolution but that it may help you understand something about yourself or about conflict in general.
 

rosada

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I see 6.5 as meaning consider what would be fair and balanced and therefore guidance to see things from the other person’s point of view. Thus rather than “arguing” as in being oppositional, this line can be saying “discuss things fairly”. But it does seem to encourage speaking up!

Perhaps 64uc is asking for clarification before moving forward. Like when she says something harsh say, “You sound like something’s the matter. Do you want to talk about it?”
 

sunharmony

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Thanks Rosada,
That sounds like good advice.
As it happens, one situation came up over this holiday break about which it seemed appropriate to speak up, so I did. It seemed like my speaking up created less 'back and forth' and allowed us to continue the board game we were playing without further fights. So far so good.
I will keep 6.5 in mind going forward, and also bear in mind what you mention about trying to see my mother's point of view and also what Viru10 mentioned about understanding 'conflict' and myself. All good ideas. :giggle:
 

rosada

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Thanks sunharmony.
And now for when you are not feeling quite so benevolent as to be forgiving but still don't want a fight, here are some of my snarky answers to rude comments and unsolicited advice-

Thank you for sharing!

I shall alert the media!

Ooh, score one for Nasty!

I agree with you completely!

This last one always gets 'em because we all know the joke:
Seeker to guru: What is the secret to great wisdom?
Guru: Never argue with a fool.
Seeker: I disagree!
Guru: I agree with you completely!
 
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sunharmony

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Guru: Don't just do something - sit there!
Seeker::unsure:

Back to 6.5 tho, my mother's tactics are more guerrilla than gorilla and I suspect that 6.5 means to 'name the game' rather than continuing to let her get away with it.
 

sunharmony

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Thanks for that Moss Elk.
I will have to try to be Brave and stand firm when I discuss things with her. But I feel more like a Piglet than a Tigger.
Winnie The Pooh Piglet GIF - WinnieThePooh Piglet Shaking GIFs
 

rosada

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I see 6.5 as saying a balanced solution, a win-win, is possible here. So standing up for yourself but not necessarily fighting.
 

Trojina

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The relating hexagram here is 64, so things aren't over. The ongoing discussion/discourse/contention is not ready to be over. It's not a 'closed case'. That doesn't mean you have to make a very deliberate effort to argue it out with her it just means it's an ongoing contention and that is good fortune.

How can it be good fortune ? It's good fortune because neither party has final and conclusive evidence about the issues. 64 can show there's still a lot to know, there may be still a lot of stuff that neither of you know about, it might even be an ongoing process of discovery. Like you know in talking to her you might find a whole maze of corridors of inner processings you never suspected were there. Even if she seems totally cut off or says that it has to be her way, even if she seems to be final about things as time goes by it's likely you will see more and more unfolding.

Anyway yes you are right to contend about issues that aren't working for you but don't think of it as one conversation, I think the 64 shows it's process. It may even be only a process within you. Even if it's impossible to talk to her you yourself are undergoing a process of contention/debate/how can this go on...all that. This line can be quite subtle and drawn out it's not necessarily a confrontation or anything like that.
 

rosada

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Yes definitely things aren't over as shown by 6.5 leading to 64. and also by the following line 6.6.
So again I'm thinking that 6.5 can represent the need for a balance, a respectful resolution - even if it's only temporary. "Keep your words sweet, you may have to eat them!"
 

sunharmony

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I like the idea of a win-win and good fortune over an extended period of time and developing understanding rather than win-lose. Thank you both for helping me remember the 64 as well - I had forgotten about the relating hexagram entirely and fixated on the '6'.
 

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