60.1.2.3.4.5 to 62 about a re-connection to a broken love

[HarryK]

All,

As this is my first post I want to take this moment to thank everyone here for this support. I'm visiting this community as a "guest" for years. Now, I took the step to sing up.

I'm coming to ask for your help in this critical time of my life (what else).

I meet almost 5 years ago a young lady, she liked/loved me but my capability was limited as she had decided (before we meet) to move out of our home town. She went for studying far and I was not willing to follow. 4 Years later (May 2019) we suddenly meet in the train again. Told me that she moved to a town next to mine. We -somehow- dated each other but again after like 36 hours + (a night together) she stoped it because she had some issues with her job and also her head to someone else (from the past, but after me). I told her that I will respect her decision and stop the contact as I don't know how to handle that situation. Also that I think she is making a big mistake again.
Since then ... no sign of life from her again. We saw each other once in a train again but ignored it.

Last Tuesday was my 34 birthday - she send my a whatsapp message. I have the feeling that she cannibalize my birthday to get in touch with my. I was friendly but also a bit cold to her. We had a 2-3 back and forth chat about how I and she is doing (Families bla bla bla - u know). The conversation stopped now.

I somehow asked Yi a complicated question:
"Yi, can you please tell me how things are going to develop now? What should I do? What is going to happen next?"
The answer was: 60.1.2.3.4.5 to 62.
I don't see clearly what this should say to me. Can you please assist me?

For your information - A week ago I asked Yi: "Can I please get an update about future love/relationship development between Her and Me? - Answer here was: 30 - unchanged.

Any idea folks?

You help is highly appreciated and thankful for me.

later
Harry

 

[HarryK]

Maybe one little thing to add. I really don't know how to explain but last Sunday (2 days before my birthday) a bird got caught in my apartment. He and I were scarred to hell while I was trying to open any windows to let him out. I thought this could be interesting as in Hex 62 is:

The structure of the hexagram gives rise to the idea that this message is brought by a bird.

 

[Trojina]

Yes - a general impression is for you to be very careful of your heart, the costs of getting attached to someone who shows little care for your heart whilst your love for them grows is very great and can hurt you for a very long time. That time is wasted time when there is someone better for you. My overall impression is you would do well to break with this person. I am taking this both from the reading and from what you say


From the reading

I somehow asked Yi a complicated question:
"Yi, can you please tell me how things are going to develop now? What should I do? What is going to happen next?"
The answer was: 60.1.2.3.4.5 to 62.
I don't see clearly what this should say to me. Can you please assist me?

I think your question is okay, it's a kind of open 'help' question.

The very first thing I see is the change patterns of 43 yang and 23 yin. The change patterns are the patterns that the change lines make if you make them all yang (43) then yin (23). I feel you come to this question needing to make a decision (43) and probably that decision will be to either allow this (23) to erode gently or just end it. Which is less painful ? Think sticking plaster, rip or peel ?

Last Tuesday was my 34 birthday - she send my a whatsapp message. I have the feeling that she cannibalize my birthday to get in touch with my. I was friendly but also a bit cold to her. We had a 2-3 back and forth chat about how I and she is doing (Families bla bla bla - u know). The conversation stopped now.

It's not really fair of her to offer these little appearances. I love the phrase 'she cannibalize my birthday', I take it that means she ate it up, she took it over.


Looking at the cast again

I somehow asked Yi a complicated question:
"Yi, can you please tell me how things are going to develop now? What should I do? What is going to happen next?"
The answer was: 60.1.2.3.4.5 to 62.
I don't see clearly what this should say to me. Can you please assist me?

As a sentence 'Measuring's Small Exceeding'

I won't look at all the lines, though they all have a part of the reading, I want to look at the overall impression which is strong here. This is all to do with measuring and setting limits and boundaries (60) in an incredibly careful way (62). It's not a picture of romantic bliss it's I feel her carefully deciding when she wants to throw you a titbit of her time or not. On all occasions you have spent time with this woman she has imposed limits, she has stopped you, she decided when she had enough and I see you on the receiving end of that experiencing the limits of her choosing. She spends the night with you but curtails that because of someone else. She starts conversations then drops it and then sends you birthday message. She is monitoring the level of closeness she has to you and she is in control while you wait almost like waiting for curfew.

I see you on the receiving end of the 60>62, it kind of shows where you are and it looks painful to me. I think you were right to be cold, people cannot just go on imposing their boundaries based on what they want if they want any kind of relationship with you.


You would expect more I hope. I feel you probably do need to clearly express to her where you are with this and it's going to be quite careful, looking at the lines of 60. Pick your timing well, consider both what you want and how you can best express that to her. 60.5 is a really good line for coming to peaceful measures together. So if you want an intimate relationship with her, as you have had even for one night, lay down your own boundaries. I'd imagine if you have strong feelings these would be along the lines of 'if you don't want me please leave me alone and if you do want me let me know' kind of vibe. The reason I say that is her actions are the actions of someone who wants to keep others hanging on a string and it's very painful for you. If you let someone like that back in they can play these games for years and you can't afford the time.


So you can't let this go on as it is. I think it's ultimatum time. If she wants you then she needs to stop messing you about and if she doesn't then ask her to go away.

It sounds like you have been very accomodating to her

I told her that I will respect her decision and stop the contact as I don't know how to handle that situation. Also that I think she is making a big mistake again.

That's your reading in a nutshell, that sentence

'.....stop the contact as I don't know how to handle that situation'

You can't handle the situation of her deciding when and where she will pick you up again, that's not possible. So either break with her, explaining perhaps your feelings and your reasons or tell her you need more from a woman and if she can't give that can she go and play with someone else.


Somewhere along the line she's taken all the power, all the decisions in this relationship. You said you respect her decision but why should you ? She hasn't made any decisions just treated you thoughtlessly. She knew about the other man and job on the night she slept with you ....I can't see much to respect there, it's just someone taking what they want when they want it.

 

[Trojina]

Maybe one little thing to add. I really don't know how to explain but last Sunday (2 days before my birthday) a bird got caught in my apartment. He and I were scarred to hell while I was trying to open any windows to let him out. I thought this could be interesting as in Hex 62 is:

The structure of the hexagram gives rise to the idea that this message is brought by a bird.

BTW yes those kinds of happenings with birds often seem to happen around the question of freedom of the soul or spirit to carry it's own message. If your own little bird is trapped by confusing signals from her, if she even spoils your birthday, the little bird must be set free.

 

[HarryK]

Trojina,

Thank you for spending your time reading my situation. As always in life it is a get & give in any kind of touchpoint; even on a emotional ambivalence. Looking back five years ago I have treated her extremely bad, specially because I was for her something like the light in the shadow. Today: putting her on a spot like a product you can be sure that I was 90% the architect, designer and engineer of her behaviour today - because it was my behavior on this flashback years ago when I realized one year later that I made a big mistake. I've learned my lesson but I was not able to repair the damage - so I accept it.

Of course I was hoping that time will let the gras grow and maybe we could start from scratch. Then May 2019 came in front of me with her. So I was trying and she was using later my own weapons against me - she made her homework. In the past, even till last year, I was a very strong character with a very strong ego. I've learned to bring this engine almost to zero down.
------------
Coming back to the situation at the moment. I don't feel something called love for her. The first thing or emotion I had after I saw her message was: nothing - emptiness. Sometimes I have of course those "inner peaks" of feeling, but nothing serious. I knew that something will happen shortly but was not sure what exactly ... the evening breeze outside gave me that feeling. The same feeling is telling me that she "is feeling guilty" and realize the mistakes from the past.

On the left hand side I want to kick her out of my life - and I can do this! Specially now!
The right hand side s showing MYSELF from five years ago and whispering: ... you want to hurt her again?

I'm not quit sure what to do. My conversations with her were (as I wrote above) just 3-4 friendly back and forth chats. I think that she knows that it's not my old ME anymore and I'm very reserved - not because I want to, but more: I don't know what to talk with her on this ground zero we came back.

thankful
Harry

 

[my_key]

Hi Harry K
You asked
"Yi, can you please tell me how things are going to develop now? What should I do? What is going to happen next?"
The answer was: 60.1.2.3.4.5 to 62.
Three questions lumped together in a plea for help.
The general theme of Yi's response is, using Karcher's translation, is Articulating the Crossing through Small Exceeding.
How things are going to develop now?You are currently in a world where you are aware that you need to adapt and change and by doing this you will recognise where lines have to be drawn or even situations brought to a halt.

What should I do?
Stay in the safety of where you are (60.1) until you sense the time is right to act (60.2). If you leave things as they are for too long you may have regrets (60.3)

What is going to happen next?"
This all depends on you now. Make a carefully considered decision that you feel meets your needs(60.4)and if you stick with it things will work out well for you (60.5)

....or maybe it's nothing like that at all.

Good Luck

 

[mandarin_23]

Hi Harry K

from the relating hexagram 62 I would say that it is best to be extremely cautious, don't expect all too much now, but trust yourself and create a situation of trust, maybe mutual trust. The little story with the lost bird maybe a warning - don't trap yourself with her, don't trap her. It reflects somehow the 62, especially the 62.6 line, I think.

60 as a whole might be an advice to put limits on the whole situation - or a reflection of the limits which there are. Maybe it is possible for you to find the right and clear language. This 60 hexagram is not about pure passion, more about a need to "measure" feelings. Maybe you can speak about things ...

All the very best
Mandarine_23

 

[HarryK]

I'm overwhelmed about the answers from my_key, mandarin and Trojina. Thank you very much.

Indeed I'm at the moment in a very strange situation where I don't understand myself how to act and mostly if to act -> about what to act? I feel sympathy for her but absolutely no love (at the moment) and again, my disappointment about her & myself because the happening in the last five years is massiv. There was a reason why I used 're-connection to a broken love' as a subject:

Everything in life that got broke can be repaired; but everything that has been repaired will always be broken.

Back to today - I'm thinking to delete her number from my phone as I saved it again on the day she send me that 'birthday message'. After doing this she won't be able to see my profile picture anymore and she will recognize my steps. Our last chat is now almost one week ago. I don't see any process in this and I thought with this step I could bring some movement in this or, if this is my fortune, buried her 'again'. Today is the death-day of my grandpa - April 28, 1996. My impulse to take the above steps are coming from his salvation.

thankful
Harry

 

[HarryK]

As some days have past know I had the chance to lower my situation for myself a bit. I did no movements and was staying very withdrawn.

I had a moment of meditation and tried a new approach on my situation with asking YI:

What do I need to know about her?
The Yi answered: 11.1 changing to 46.

What do you think? Somehow I think it is telling me also what I need to know about myself.
Not quit sure to be honest.

For your help I'm -again- very thankful and

Respectful
Harry

 

[my_key]

What do I need to know about her?
The Yi answered: 11.1 changing to 46.
Advancing through Growing Up(wards)
11.1 - Pulling up roots of grass and sods of earth. Linking with like-minded people. Images that Wilhelm readily makes in line 1. They mean lots of things for me but I'm wondering what they mean for you with respect to your enquiry?

Good Luck

 

[HarryK]

I don‘t know what is telling me just that I have the feeling it is saying: This is also for you. But again, not sure.

Harry

 

[mandarin_23]

Hello Harry K.,
it might be that you can trust in certain things for sure: All is connected, and an advice for you to link with like-minded people. I don't know if she is like-minded, maybe she is! That's what you might find out for yourself. The related hexagram, pushing upward, is telling about the little steps in life, the little deeds, which might sum up.
All the best
Mandarine

 

[my_key]

Hi Harry K
It can be quite helpful for you to engage with the readings you get. In fact, on this forum people are encouraged to make a stab at what the reading might mean for them as a pre-requisite to asking others to help unravel what it might mean.
So far your attempts at making your own interpretations have been.

• I don't see clearly what this should say to me. Can you please assist me?
• What do you think? Somehow I think it is telling me also what I need to know about myself. Not quit sure to be honest.

It's going to help you see things more clearly if you make a stab at this yourself. Especially with just one changing line in your second casting 11.1 changing to 46. What it means for you, obtained through your own insight is going to be of greater use for you than what I, or anyone else, may think it means.
Be brave and have a go, even if you don't post anything here. The worst that can happen is that you'll be making up some lies about a situation in your life. At least though you will have a place to start from.Think of the challenge of making your own decisions about the reading as Advancing through Growing Up.

Good Luck

 

[HarryK]

my_key,

I'm thankful for your answer. I'm trying to learn/read Yi for about 3 years now. I'm visiting this community as a guest daily. Not only for my own interest but also to get a better understanding of the "situations" everywhere around us.

There is sometimes the problem that I don't really understand my situation or the answer. I'm adding to many "external" influencing factors in my own reading. We say in Germany something like: There are too many trees in the forest, thats why we can't see the forest. Something similar with my own readings. I see too many answers in my reading, thats why I don't see "the" answer / or I just see the answer I want to see.

 

[my_key]

I'm thankful for your answer. I'm trying to learn/read Yi for about 3 years now. I'm visiting this community as a guest daily. Not only for my own interest but also to get a better understanding of the "situations" everywhere around us.

Three years is not a long time for holding hands with Yi. It's good that you are studying daily, this will help your relationship with it to grow.

There is sometimes the problem that I don't really understand my situation or the answer. I'm adding to many "external" influencing factors in my own reading. We say in Germany something like: There are too many trees in the forest, thats why we can't see the forest. Something similar with my own readings. I see too many answers in my reading, thats why I don't see "the" answer / or I just see the answer I want to see.

In UK we say " Can't see the wood for the trees", particularly when we try to analyse things too much. You are fortunate that you see lots of answers as there is very rarely a single answer to a reading. This is why it is important to spend time with the reading and to spend time with all your possible answers.

Maybe try to write them down in a book, mull them over, look at them from different perspectives and let them mature in your mind. In my experience looking for "the" answer, or expecting it to arrive straight away, can be a waste of time. If you just see the answer you want to see then by all means seek other inputs, however if you miss out the ' this-is-what-it-means-for-me' stage then you are doing yourself and the Yi a disservice - even if your interpretation of the reading turns out to be completely wrong! We learn most from our mistakes! Pick an answer, or part of an answer, or a single word or a single image that most resonates with you at the time and then work with that. "The" answer most likely is associated with that in some way.

Good Luck

 

[HarryK]

my_key - Thank you! I will follow you recommendation.