60.1 to 29 Frustrating Marriage

[VeronicaV]

I am in an ongoing marriage and ask for guidance to the iching around this relationship a lot. It gives me perspective and insight and has helped me conduct myself very balanced in my response and to see and know deeper into the nature of everything. We have a lot of children together. He is very angry and bitter with me and wants to end the relationship, wants to be free of me and just have the kids. I really love him and want him to forgive me (I think that what I did was very minimal ultimately, but it's broken the trust for him completely) and want him to love me and for us to be together forever. He seems to be at his total breaking point and I just want him to offer forgiveness and open to me and trust me and love me and not hurt me (it's a bit abusive at times when I really push back). This is never okay, I know, but I want to stay in the relationship and see it transform. I know him, he is my family and my best friend. He pretty much doesn't like me though, resents me completely and I don't even know if he loves me. Our children are beautiful energetic beams of light and they adore him. He's very authoritarian and controlling in general, but he's a lot of fun, so funny, very deep and just a special soul and person. Had I known everything I know now, I would have respected and cherished our union much more from the start. I would have honored it, myself, and him much more. I would have made many different choices and decisions. I have a lot of things I know I should be doing, things he's asked from me for years. I'm ready to do them and be my authentic creative full spirited self and give it my all. He's recently said he's completely done and wants a different resolve ( for me to leave and he keep all the children). I want him to stop being so angry and see forgiveness and rebuilding of trust as an option and the right one, and for him to love me forever. I asked if the creator wanted us to be together and if we could rebuild our relationship for a healthy family, and actually be happy. I received 60.1 to 29. The other day before this reading I asked what is it that he needs from me. I received 37.2.5 to 26. I feel like there is hope, but he's totally closed and if I do the things he's been asking for awhile, it could crack and I could get myself back in his good graces but it will take a long time and I need to have faith. When I asked step by step what I need to do in order to get it done and finally do everything I got 61 unchanging.

 

[VeronicaV]

We did some more messaging/ talking. I was hopeful, as I always am. He's so done he says. I'm so frustrated because I feel like he is so wrong about all of his reasoning. He blames me for so much and I feel totally misunderstood and actually like I've sacraficed a great deal and that is never acknowledged. I want him to see that he is wrong. I feel so desperate that he is wrong with his actions and now his over it ness I don't even know what to do. I asked is it me who is wrong or is it him.....got 19.1.2.6 to 23.....then I asked is it hopeless/ is the relationship really over? 21.1.4.5 to 20. I just don't know how to make this any better but can't even imagine it really being over. But it's not like I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm hurt. and I'm a loving and kind woman and I feel like he's stolen the children from me and my whole life....then I get hopeful again when I'm around all the children and him and I just want him to want me and want us so we can be together. Like for me that's the answer. For him it's for me to leave. I feel totally hopeless and so frustrated and lost. Someone help me - is this salvageable or am I delusional completely.

 

[Matali]

Hello,
60.1 – 29 : "do not leave the door and the court, without blame". You are right not to leave but with the limitations that are yours at the moment (60), be patient, and pay attention to the words you speak. I think there is hope, that is my opinion. If you love him, give him good reasons to stay

 

[VeronicaV]

omg thanks from the abyss. I am really appreciative for any/ all insights. thank you.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello;

sorry to hear that. Yet you have a beautiful family

I asked if the creator wanted us to be together and if we could rebuild our relationship for a healthy family, and actually be happy. I received 60.1 to 29.
The problems are repeating, there is an emotional abyss, but you make no mistake by remaining in your place.

I asked what is it that he needs from me. I received 37.2.5 to 26.
He wants a family with a housewife where he is the king & tames everything. Resonates with your description of him: authoritarian & controlling, yet a loving father who values his family.

I asked is it me who is wrong or is it him.....got 19.1.2.6 to 23
Sounds not good. You are near separation. Another way of reading the cast is, the one who goes toward splitting apart is wrong, IOW, him.

I asked is it hopeless/ is the relationship really over? 21.1.4.5 to 20.
The 21th hexagram is about examining the reality, and the 20th indicates seeing. The lines don't seem hopeless: 21.1: someone is prevented from doing harmful things; 21.4: persistence in hardship is promising; 21.5: persistence is difficult. Avoid mistakes.

I hope the best for you

 

[VeronicaV]

Hello;

sorry to hear that. Yet you have a beautiful family

I asked if the creator wanted us to be together and if we could rebuild our relationship for a healthy family, and actually be happy. I received 60.1 to 29.
The problems are repeating, there is an emotional abyss, but you make no mistake by remaining in your place.

I asked what is it that he needs from me. I received 37.2.5 to 26.
He wants a family with a housewife where he is the king & tames everything. Resonates with your description of him: authoritarian & controlling, yet a loving father who values his family.

I asked is it me who is wrong or is it him.....got 19.1.2.6 to 23
Sounds not good. You are near separation. Another way of reading the cast is, the one who goes toward splitting apart is wrong, IOW, him.

I asked is it hopeless/ is the relationship really over? 21.1.4.5 to 20.
The 21th hexagram is about examining the reality, and the 20th indicates seeing. The lines don't seem hopeless: 21.1: someone is prevented from doing harmful things; 21.4: persistence in hardship is promising; 21.5: persistence is difficult. Avoid mistakes.

I hope the best for you

Hi, thank you, SO much. We do have a beautiful family, it's just a little off (way off at times) and it's great to get your feedback on my readings, I always think I'm skewing them in the direction I want them to be. Thanks for all of your responses to each reading. You are spot on with everything...It's repeating problems, I should stay and it's very difficult, but my perseverance and steadfastness to correct actions that build trust and create happier memories will be the only way it can work. I need to keep my mouth shut a lot more, it always starts with me being wordy and just saying something unnecessary. Silence is so powerful! And I need to be home (I work outside the home and he's the stay-at-home dad and it's been increasingly miserable for everyone but it's been a big challenge to make the switch, even though it's what we all want ultimately.)