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60.2 and perpetually single

dizzy

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Hi friends,

It's been a while but I've been lucky enough to be doing some I ching work via school (yeah, sweet school I go to!). I've been asking several questions but of course it always comes back to love and money, doesn't it :cool:

I asked the I Ching "What is the deal with me and the fact that I've never had a romantic relationship, nor anyone reasonably interested in one with me? It's making me nuts."
and got 60.2->3

Yeah...

Backstory: I am 30, reasonably attractive, very good health, intellect, artistic, I will spare you the details of course. I think I am not a horrible person generally and I have somehow managed to acquire some very cool people as friends, so hopefully that means I'm not a total dud! On paper I seem to be a catch, and in person people have no idea why I don't or never have had any interest, other than a few friends telling me they think men just might be intimidated or just not interested in my sort of person (I present well, but am not super trendy nor wear a lot of makeup, especially here in Tinseltown; I've a wide variety of subjects I'm interested in, but have never owned a TV, I get excited about random types of music and like to share, but don't know a lot of typical 'merican pop culture stuff even though I'm born and raised).

I am realizing that the problem is that I don't really do the best job of playing yin to yang, at least as far as men can tell. I tend to be a very active and "masculine" in a sense (intellectual, being interested and animated about subjects men usually are, doing things where I am often the only girl doing it, flirting with words and asking men out rather than somehow being the honey to the bees...how do other women do this? I just am not successful, men often tell me I am an ideal woman, but one they would not ever be interested in, or I am too good for them. No I am not a crazy narcissist, this is what I am told over and over again BS!). I think there is something though about me that's not seeming calm or receptive or caring, though I KNOW I can do these things and I get feedback from others (bosses, coworkers, friends, whatever) that I am capable of this for sure. Or somehow I am not feminine enough, even though I wear dresses fairly often- it's somehow an attitude thing?

Anyway, I'm a little confused since yes, things are certainly limited, but I'm not sure if it almost seems fated/karmic here with the general hex. Line two says that the moment for action must be seized, but if no one is interested when I grab it, what do I do, or then what? And I feel that I probably should not be making the action so much anyway (leading to even more of nothing going on). Certainly no one is making any sort of overtures to me.

Going to 3 certainly echoes that it's difficult for me to begin a relationship. Potentially once it all gets a rollin' things will be much smoother. Other than preparing myself for a relationship, what am I directed to do (if anything)?

Would love interpretations since I tend to be off, thanks!
 

hopex

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Hi - I hate to see no answer so I am going to look into this
and get back
 

hopex

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Hi - I hate to see no answer so I am going to look into this
and get back

something needs to be stopped - some attitude/action needs to
be stopped - 3 suggests you will find this difficult at first

maybe curb your masculine energy if you want a male energy man
- accept a feminine energy man if you are alpha girl

really get some feedback - ask ex flames
 

bamboo

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60.2 is not leaving the courtyard. this could refer to the sphere of your common activity. the yi is answering your specific question by saying you don't leave your courtyard.
if you do something or join some kind of activity that is outside of the scope of your well-liked, frequent interests, it will feel awkward at first, but it gives you the chance to meet different kind of contacts. Also putting yourself in a new kind of situation could make you seem less intimidating, so to speak. you'd be green and a trifle awkward, hence maybe more approachable. I am thinking maybe something like a ball-room dancing lesson, something not so intellectual

John Gray, in his mars-venus books, says that soulmates are usually found this way, outside of the sphere of one's regular interests.

60.2 could also just mean that you don't go out enough!
 

precision grace

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Hi friends,

It's been a while but I've been lucky enough to be doing some I ching work via school (yeah, sweet school I go to!). I've been asking several questions but of course it always comes back to love and money, doesn't it :cool:

I asked the I Ching "What is the deal with me and the fact that I've never had a romantic relationship, nor anyone reasonably interested in one with me? It's making me nuts."
and got 60.2->3

Yeah...

Backstory: I am 30, reasonably attractive, very good health, intellect, artistic, I will spare you the details of course. I think I am not a horrible person generally and I have somehow managed to acquire some very cool people as friends, so hopefully that means I'm not a total dud! On paper I seem to be a catch, and in person people have no idea why I don't or never have had any interest, other than a few friends telling me they think men just might be intimidated or just not interested in my sort of person (I present well, but am not super trendy nor wear a lot of makeup, especially here in Tinseltown; I've a wide variety of subjects I'm interested in, but have never owned a TV, I get excited about random types of music and like to share, but don't know a lot of typical 'merican pop culture stuff even though I'm born and raised).

I am realizing that the problem is that I don't really do the best job of playing yin to yang, at least as far as men can tell. I tend to be a very active and "masculine" in a sense (intellectual, being interested and animated about subjects men usually are, doing things where I am often the only girl doing it, flirting with words and asking men out rather than somehow being the honey to the bees...how do other women do this? I just am not successful, men often tell me I am an ideal woman, but one they would not ever be interested in, or I am too good for them. No I am not a crazy narcissist, this is what I am told over and over again BS!). I think there is something though about me that's not seeming calm or receptive or caring, though I KNOW I can do these things and I get feedback from others (bosses, coworkers, friends, whatever) that I am capable of this for sure. Or somehow I am not feminine enough, even though I wear dresses fairly often- it's somehow an attitude thing?

Anyway, I'm a little confused since yes, things are certainly limited, but I'm not sure if it almost seems fated/karmic here with the general hex. Line two says that the moment for action must be seized, but if no one is interested when I grab it, what do I do, or then what? And I feel that I probably should not be making the action so much anyway (leading to even more of nothing going on). Certainly no one is making any sort of overtures to me.

Going to 3 certainly echoes that it's difficult for me to begin a relationship. Potentially once it all gets a rollin' things will be much smoother. Other than preparing myself for a relationship, what am I directed to do (if anything)?

Would love interpretations since I tend to be off, thanks!

you are in the wrong place for meeting the people you would resonate with.
 

dizzy

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Well, no one I've been interested in has been interested back...and no one has asked me out. Ever! Totally not lying. I actually am seeing a dating coach (only had just a few sessions and we are working on online profile) but she had me ask friends both male/female for things that could be positive/negative for me as far as being in a relationship, or what they thought I could work on. Now, I'm a woman with guy friends who I'm quite close to. Can you imagine this- not one would answer my question. I really was baffled, one said it just made him upset to think about since he is mid-divorce and sad his wife left him, another three just didn't reply to emails or said they didn't want to talk about it on the phone/in person. And these are people that I've talked about this with before though not QUITE as blunt. Also people I would never date (one is 30 years older, the others live 3,000 miles away, and there's never been any mutual indication of interest, they are brothers to me and I a sister maybe to them).

I definitely get out there and meet people all the time- I play gigs all over the place in a wide range of venues (major concert halls to parks to hole in the wall bars), I go to two different universities for different subjects, I make the networking rounds for music going to see stuff or meeting people, I take Turkish class, I go to astrology classes, I'm taking some salsa and tango classes, I hang in coffee bars, blah blah blah. I truly am out and about more than most people and am not sure what else to do. And yes, I DO have some free time to chill, I know this sounds crazy with before but it's really not, I do have down time to hang with friends or with a potential dude.
 

themis

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I wonder if you really need a coach ....
Spread your wings further to other horizons. I note you're already doing quite a lot in different spheres. When you're out n about how about changing your usual route, going to other shops etc. If your interests are masculin, so be it. You can't exactly change your interests just to suit your environment/entourage, so work on other aspects of your personality and how/what you project. Fine tune your charm and femininity. First impressions are lasting, so even if charm is superficial it'll at least trigger interest in a potential partner/admirer. May I suggest refraining from asking guys out ... change/alter your energy vibration and make yourself mentally available ... invitations will come ... 'wish' them to come - it works.
Patience is a virtue ... and 'dizzy' sounds giddy and kinda romantic ;)
 
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I agree with Themis. You mentioned that you sometimes are the one who asks the man out, right? Are you also planning the dates? Picking the restaurants? Generally taking the lead. Stop! The early stages of a relationship set the precedent for the whole relationship, and most men want to take the lead when it comes to romance. Even a great guy who will appreciate your strong personality will almost always want to take the lead when it comes to romance. It is not a bad thing. It is because if he is really interested he wants to woo you, sweep you off your feet. Doesn't work from my experience for either person in the relationship when the girls taking the lead in the romance. There is no chase involved. It interferes with the natural flow of communication and development of the romance and is confusing for many men. If you want to be with someone who really wants to be with you seriously, let him come after you! Make him work for you! You seem like a strong leader, and you sound smart and independent. Someone a man should have to put the effort in for. These are qualities most men will value. And you can still be you. I know lots of guys dating women who have more masculine interests, and for them it is a positive. But the man is taking the lead in those romances. I wonder if you are masculine enough in your approach that your courting the men instead of them courting you. Perhaps that is what line 2 means when it says you are still in your own courtyard, like a play on words maybe. May be referring to you courting them and the action needed may be for you to step out of your comfort zone and into someone else's courtyard. You don't have to become a shrinking violet or a weakling. There is value and respect to the feminine as well, and it is actually a very powerful force. And use whatever resources you have. I think a dating coach is a brilliant idea. You'll snag the man of your dreams in no time. I hope this helps you. Happy Holidays! :)
 

brambletoad

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As another alpha female I agree with this

There is enormous power in the receptive, and once you study it, and realize on a deep level it is not about conniving, calculating, being weak or deceptive or about sitting around waiting to be chosen, or being manipulative, it will alter your energetic chemistry, and men will flock around you to the point you wish they would all go away.

This is where I am currently. There are no fewer than six men romantically interested in me right now, who have made it clear, and are making my life miserable with it. Those are the ones I know personally. It doesn't count dozens more who come on to me every day here in the city.

There is of course one man I am interested in, but aside from inviting him to coffee, and being interested in taking a closer look at him to see if he is worthy of me, he could fall off the planet tomorrow and I wouldn't care. I would continue studying the Yi, loving myself above and beyond all else, knowing my place and value in the universe, and living life.

When a woman authentically does not care whether they exist or not, because she is that full with her self-being and confidence, men cannot help but be mesmerized by her and swarm to her like bees round a flower. See how the rose simply is, and gives its unmistakable scent, and does not push or angle other flowers to get seen by the most bees. A rose does not worry why the bees aren't coming. A rose simply "roses", and the bees simply come: that is the power of the receptive, the devotion of a mare. Mares do not follow stallions around or keep watch on how many stallions are in the corral. Because a mare is not corralled. She runs free with her eye on the horizon and the wind in her hair.

Nature has a certain way of pairing her with just the right stallion; and then it is her choice whether he gets to mate with her.

THAT'S power :mischief:

As another alpha female, I ask you to admit to yourself a lot of what holds us back from relaxing into our femininity is the desire for control because it deceptively presents an image of what we think is power -- especially male power, which, being alphas, we naturally gravitate to because female power looks weak and boring to our eyes.

Look with the energy. Not the heart but the energy. Delve deeper and slice that mystery to its core.

Feminine power is real power, and it makes masculine power look positively creme puff. Male power withers to dust and blows away when female power so much as turns looking at it without batting an eye. Men have to prance and posture and struggle. A woman can enter the room and control it all. But unless she is in her receptive center, she becomes a posing, snarky, insecure "girl", or maid or lass, and is defined by the men around her, and becomes a character in their play. That is weakness.

The devotion of a mare is where the really deadly controls are. As a woman only you and your sisters have the key to that nuclear control room. Enter it, learn the controls and realize how much power you do have once you love and understand yourself. Men will then be your pawns. And as an alpha, isn't that what you want? It's definitely what this alpha female writing this wants!

After a taste of the receptive's true power, I doubt you'll be feeling so sad for yourself anymore :mischief:

You'll be back instead trying like me to remember the right way to capture that possibly worthy stallion who catches your eye above the muddy herd stampeding lustfully around you is to simply Continue The Devotion Of A Mare. Because he will appear. Trust me.

As soon as your self-love reaches critical mass: AKA, the precise moment you AUTHENTICALLY don't care anymore.
 
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gato

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you've learn so many things but little did you know that the higher you get the few you will find.

60.2 could be about not getting out enough but it could also suggest bad timing or not enough time ( transforms to 3 difficult beginning ). line 2 wich is the first line of inner trigram (zen/thunder/move)
tends to move but it is stopped by the inner outer trigram (mountain). so let enough energy to store and it will eventually overflow.

p.s. i'd love a tanda
 
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gato

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Feminine power is real power, and it makes masculine power look positively creme puff. Male power withers to dust and blows away when female power so much as turns looking at it without batting an eye. Men have to prance and posture and struggle. A woman can enter the room and control it all.

i think you were deeply hurt. ( by a man i suppose) but don't worry Yi will teach you a thing or two about modesty. You will also probably learn that nor yin or yang can control the other but play with each other. 'It is true the masculine tend to lead (lead not control) and move while feminine tend to be receptive and static but this are the laws of nature. If you want someday to be happy you need to remember this basic stuff.
 

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