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60.3.4>43 and 13.3>25 on a "friendship"

kafuka

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Hello,
almost after a year I got a tweet from a girl I used to have feelings for. Considering for how long we hadn't contacted each other I was a little surprised. Two years in a row I was helping her with a donating project and the project starts in January again so her wishing me happy holidays may have been related.

I asked why did she really tweet me and got 60.3.4>43.
Does it mean she wants to break through the limitation that's between us?
It was me who stopped following her on twitter first because I was falling for her and seeing her talking to other people but me was making me jealous-ish; I really needed to distance myself from her.

Then I asked what does she think about me and got 13.3>25.
The line suggests some kind of a mistrust and hidden agenda.
Maybe the line speaks about me, I don't know... maybe the mistrust is mutual.
I was happy to be part of the project but always felt more or less used and overlooked by her. When she wanted me to do something I helped her immediately but I never felt it works the other way round. I tried to rise above my ego but felt hurt more than once.

Btw when I asked what should I do about her I got 20 uc...

What do you think about my readings, do you have any insight? Thank you. :)
 
B

blue_angel

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60.3.4>43 yes, a breakthrough from the strict limitations. However, it doesn't seem to get her anywhere, she regrets this, and decides to accept the limitations given to her.
 
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blue_angel

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13.3>25 although I feel the answer will not reveal what is in another's mind nor heart, I do feel it gives some direction or guidance into the situation. So it seems innocence in union that can not be followed through with either because of your own doubts, her doubts, unknown factors, or a lack of communication.

20 unchanging, its up to you to decide what your intentions are with her and then be sincere in your direction.
 

kafuka

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Thank you, blue_angel.
From time to time I felt like sending her an email to explain how I felt but I never did. I thought by doing so I'd just embarrass myself even more. She's still my soft spot... just two short texts from her and I'm off my equilibrium. I worry the project a little. It's for a good cause so I'd like to help but it'd probably make me think about her, and thinking about her makes me crazy. She's kind of like that hex. 44 woman for me. Ugh.
 

kafuka

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I just asked what if I send her an email after all and got 60.3.4.5>34. Huh?
 
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blue_angel

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Thank you, blue_angel.
From time to time I felt like sending her an email to explain how I felt but I never did. I thought by doing so I'd just embarrass myself even more. She's still my soft spot... just two short texts from her and I'm off my equilibrium. I worry the project a little. It's for a good cause so I'd like to help but it'd probably make me think about her, and thinking about her makes me crazy. She's kind of like that hex. 44 woman for me. Ugh.

I think your reading has a lot to do with what you wrote here. You've been using your strength and energy (34) to limit yourself (holding back from emailing her). (60)

The lines.. It seems as though she brings up so much passion and energy in you, energy you try to balance
and maintain. That its like water over boiling,
evaporating, and leaving you with no energy at all. But is this reality or is this something you create yourself?


If overly limiting yourself is a natural part of who you are, accept it, but then do not regret or beat yourself up when things do not progress or change the way you would like them to. On another hand if you are using all your energy to limit yourself, that can be draining. Either way there's no cause for regret. These are choices you make yourself.

Decide what you want to commit to. Find your own balance. Do not expect any more or less of her than what you do of yourself. Then set forth and go with the flow. Or don't. Its up to you.


It sort of reminds me when I was younger I wouldn't tell my ex-husband what was bothering me. I would rather avoid the confrontation, figured the issues were minor, and could be overlooked. I wanted to be patient and pleasant. I thought that was the "right" way to be. I didn't realize how much energy I was using to hold myself back. But then those little things would pile up, and eventually I would explode. When the explosion was over I was completely exhausted and it seemed as though the war wiped the slate clean. No more thoughts, no more energy, back to the beginning. Nothing accomplished. Just to circle back around again and then stand there dumb founded, how did I get here yet AGAIN? :)


If only I had I went with the flow, had said what needed to be said at the time, or did what needed to be done in its time. But it's exhausting to think of the could've, should've, would've. Better to work on today, besides it turned out for the best for everyone.


You say she's your (44) woman. Is she really? Can you change that perception? Are you really seeing her as she is? It seems like if you can change that perception it might help in communicating with her. I am not sure..

Best wishes on your journey
 
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kafuka

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Thank you, blue_angel. After some thinking I sent that email and feel actually pretty good about it. It is like a stone is off my chest now. :)
 

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