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60.6 > 61

lucia

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Hi guys I've been learning so much from this forum and can mostly work on my own hexagrams but this one is causing me a bit of brain ache.

I asked what can I do for the best for this relationship...

60.6 >61

background....

we got together, smoothly,respectfully, nicely. But due to economics I'd already made plans to leave the country where we both lived. We both realized we had something special going for us and have maintained contact with hopes I can go back and forth. However, I can't get work and am broke and don't know when I can return. He can't travel outside the country we were in.

OK I get the meanings in general but not how they apply to my question. Is the galling limitation in my head and attitude or is it talking about the geographical limitations. Or is it none of those things. How do I create "number & measure"?

If it s the physical/geographical situation what can I do as far as the ching is concerned (I'm flat out job hunting 'cos without money there's nothing I can do)?

Finally, as it is a 6 at the top does this suggest the limitations are on their way out? (ojala!!)

I would really appreciate any input

Thanks lucia
 

willowfox

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I asked what can I do for the best for this relationship...

60.6 >61

I think that at the end of the day you will have to release yourself from this relationship as it is quite impractical, you really need to see the truth of the situation and then you will understand.
 

lucia

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Hi WF (and anyone else..)

Thankyou WF and ok there's a danger I only want to hear what I want to hear and likewise I have a tendency to expect the worst. But in theory, if I could get a job it is do-able! We are not talking about 2 countries on opposite sides of the planet - if I had a job I could do regular long weekends as I did between these 2 countries a few years ago.

I've had a few other boyfriends in the past but I have only had the kind of calm but strong feelings for a guy like this, one other time in my life (and 28 years later that one is still my best friend).

The job or lack of it is driving me crazy because that's why I moved - I previously had asked about that and got 46 unchanging - keep trying hard and bit by bit it should happen. But it depresses me and not just because of the relationship but because I want to work and sort out my financial problems.

I wonder both before and after I cast the 61.6 > 60 if it isn't me that limits myself with my headspace. I seem to have quite bad "luck" and somehow I sense it is something in me that creates that.

We have been honest with each other and haven't imposed any 'rules' nor romantic stuff beyond our desire to see each other when we can. And he sweetly offered to take me camping next year (I had given him my tent when I moved). When we were together he looked after me and treated me so well. He is an honourable man but it is now 6 weeks since I left and I'm wobbling a bit because of the lack of work.

So I took a question from Hilary and asked:

If I pour my heart & soul into the relationship (which I think includes being strong with myself) what can I expect?

I got: 15.1 > 36

a superior man modest about his modesty has supreme success...

is it telling me to keep cool be sincere and it will be ok? Or that I can't expect much.....? Or what....?

Until now all has been calm in my head about it and the few chings I did a few weeks ago on the subject were all really lovely and positive (eg 8.1,4 > 17 when I asked what was the best way to deal with the relationship to be together)

I really would appreciate further input on this from WF and others if you are out there. Although I've been using the I ching for many years this forum has really developed my understanding much further.

Thanks in anticipation

Lucia
 

willowfox

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If I pour my heart & soul into the relationship (which I think includes being strong with myself) what can I expect?

I got: 15.1 > 36

You are up against some really big problems and that makes the task even harder, you are now in a very bad situation what with no job and financial woes, it is a time of real struggle where all you can do is to try to keep going but of course if you truly want to be with this man again then oneday you will find a way. But it will be necessary to impose some very strict limitations on the way that you will live in order to achieve that goal.
 

lucia

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Thankyou WF

that kinda makes sense and the wilhelm text rang a bell - there are all kinds of claims and considerations in my life right now but I think I would find them easier to deal with if I thought there was light at the end of my relationship tunnel. I thought wilhelm was ultimately saying success if I can handle these other claims and considerations so I guess we are on the same page.

I still wonder about the other one though - 60.6 > 61 - how much is physical location/money and how much is my headspace?

Does anyone else want to add their perspectives please? I would really appreciate it.

Lucia
 

lucia

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Hi folks

I've been mulling it over and decided to continue the conversation with the ching by asking:

What is the best way to handle (what to do) these "competing claims and considerations" (see above 15.1) seeing as they are the real problem right now.

I received 5.1 > 48

waiting in the meadow.. it furthers one to abide in what endures...

I found an interesting comment from Hilary about 5....

"With Hexagram 5, there's some connection between the spirit of your waiting (and expecting and preparing) and what comes. The shaman dances for the rain, or the sage in his hut aligns himself with the dao."

Last week I got pretty stressed and dispirited with all of it as WF says a time of real struggle, so my take on this is that I need to pull myself together and adopt the right spirit of waiting in nourishment. But as I also received 46 when I had asked about what to do about getting work I am supposing that it isn't talking about being passive (ie I have to job hunt) but about adopting a more balanced attitude and maybe trusting it will come to me (48 as resulting hex).

This is sort of what I meant about the first reading (61.6 >61) that is not to deny there aren't physical limitations as WF says but also to acknowledge that my headspace/attitude influences it too - ie I am making the limitations "galling" rather than just being strong and quietly positive and getting on with it all.

I think it's what is known in the trade as a humdinger - all these crucial day-to-day things needing solving before I can do anything about seeing my guy and of course there's no guarantees I'll have a guy.

I would really appreciate input from others - what do you think? How do others see these lines - there are some pretty wise i chingers here and I can handle a range of views because it triggers things in my thinking too so if you can bear it it would be welcome.

Gracias Lucia
 

willowfox

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What is the best way to handle (what to do) these "competing claims and considerations" (see above 15.1) seeing as they are the real problem right now.

I received 5.1 > 48

I think line 5.1 sums your situation up nicely, don't worry about the future of this relationship, just carry on living a normal life as best you can and as long as you can, otherwise if you struggle against your current situation it is going to make you ill and get you no where. The tide is against you at the moment, so stay on the beach.
 

hilary

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About 60.6...
'Bitter articulating: constancy, pitfall.
Regrets vanish.'
I like your idea of taking this into 'headspace' :) and using it to challenge your ideas. Your first post here sounds a little like 'bitter articulating': the situation as you define it there - the story as you tell it - is very unpalatable, not something that allows for constancy, as there's nothing left you can do in practice at all.

But maybe the reason you get such a strong sense of the 'bitterness' of this is that there's an Inner Truth behind/beyond the limitations and making itself felt. Maximum tension between heart-truth and head?

So to use that line as a challenge... the original bitter story says he can't leave his country, and you can't find a job so you can't get money so you can't leave the country. Can he maybe set things in motion so he'd be able to travel later? Can a job find you? Can you get money without getting a job? Can you travel without money? How important is seeing him now/soon to the relationship anyway? How many of the day-to-day things absolutely have to be solved before you can see him? And looking at 5.1, how many might quietly solve themselves over time if you're in a good position to receive the solutions?

Um. For instance. Perhaps.
 

lucia

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Thanks WF & Hilary

I've never used the i ching like this before - casting then sharing, reading replies then mulling them over, then developing a conversation with the iching and sharing it again. Wow, it is productive and I have to thank you for your contributions.

First off WF - when I asked about the "competing claims & considerations" I was not thinking about the relationship, just the practical things I have to resolve - they are after all fundamental and also the key to being able to travel to my guy. However, you are right because it is not useful to get stressed about things you cannot change right now. I like what you said about the beach - I had a picture in my head when I read that.

Hilary - thankyou too - he cannot travel he is in a very vulnerable position himself with documents and that will take a long time to resolve. But I get your drift (I think) ie think outside the box (yucky overused trendy word that is useful no?) and the key word being to "receive" the solutions. And yes .... um, for instance, perhaps....

I think I am groping towards something here which is why the input is so useful - it is a gut suspicion I have had about the relationship between my inner and outer worlds. I am treading this path (the groping) carefully because I don't want to be airy-fairy and that is why I like your approaches Hilary - you get the balance wisely right. (There are some interesting thinkers on this site)

How do you guys see "abiding in what is enduring" is that something in me? And finally (sorry don't mean to be demanding) how do you see the relationship between the 5.1 & 48? How do you see 48 in this context?

Once again thanks so much.... I am off to mull (and dry off because I have been playing street photographer in the rain)

Lucia
 

rosada

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I read the sixth line as commenting on situations that have evolved beyond what is discribed by the hexagram. Thus when you ask "What is the best thing I can do for this relationship?" I see 60.6 as saying look beyond the current physical Limitations of your situation and consider 61. the Inner Truth of your friendship. I assume this then is encouraging you that if your Inner Truth is that this man is The One, the outer world Limitations can ultimately be dealt with, even if this requires careful budgeting and patience.
 

hilary

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Yes... the 'mulling' is a key part of the process :) .

So your 5.1 reading was about the practical stuff that needs dealing with... and Yi says to do so by waiting at the outskirts altar, and using perseverance. That would be the place for offerings for the fields - not a million miles from your concerns about making a living. Is there any way to become more available to receive what you need, or to invite it more clearly, or to be more ready to respond when it shows up?

'What endures' - that's the name of Hexagram 32, no less, and has to do with things that last because they settle into patterns. Something in you, yes; also things you regularly do. (Which could be revisiting your goals and keeping them in mind, or regular book-keeping or job-hunting, or all three: the whole routine that makes future success real.)

And the link with the Well... that's about a lasting, unchanging resource that is never diminished, but also disastrously out of reach unless we keep rope and pitcher in good order. I think 5.1 is about connecting with the potential (for better weather, for conditions we can work with) and also doing things to maintain and improve that connection.
 

lucia

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Thanks Rosada & Hilary

I am still mulling and shall probably leave it for a day or two now but I want to pursue this inner/outer stuff further. But I know not to push it with the Ching and want to see what surfaces in my brain in the next few days before I ask it any more questions.

Rosada, thanks for clearing that up - I suppose that by the same logic 5.1 is only just beginning - a bit of a long haul perhaps to get to the Well. sigh!

And Hilary of course how could I miss it enduring and 32 - how ironic because I suppose that is what I want with my friend - something that endures. hmm! More to mull!

Thanks so much all of you - Lucia
 

jbutler

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RL Wing calls this hexagram Limitations which suggests that there are limits which you have already described. Line 6 is a doozie. "Excessive restriction demanded of others (another) (perhaps your friend) will eventually meet with resentment."

Everyone had great things to say so I don't suspect this is any new news to you. I wish you the best. Take care.
 

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