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63.1.2.5 - will it be good for me if i stop negociating and go to the judge?

scorpioontherun

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thank you all, this is starting to become a seriously long tread :). The hearing have gone nicely (basicaly just legal starting procedure) my lawyer and me set up an agreement meeting but nor him nor his lawyer showed up ... so ... tomorrow the big decisive hearing for the house and the holidays (money and kids will be discussed in october), I will probably be asked to speak in front of the court.
So I asked: "what is the behaviour I should have in court tomorrow for the judge will rule in my favour?" and the response was 38.5 -10. It seems positive , I should be cautios but forceful ... the tiger will not bite me ... but I don't see the suggestion on my behaviour ... it's qute a big deal because IF I have the house automatically I get full custody of the children untill next hearing in october ... Could you please once again help me??? Thank you so much
stressed scorpio
 

arabella

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You should plan to be intelligent, calm, respectful, sincere and polite, answer questions truthfully and with a sense of your place -- that you are in a courtroom where matters are serious and realising that the judge will listen and try to be fair. Dress in a conservative way, make your feelings known, but don't engage in any emotional displays, keep an even tone. Your lawyer may be able to give you suggestions on what questions the judge is likely to ask so that you can be a bit prepared with clear answers.
 

peter2610

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Hello Scorpio,

Has your lawyer not given any indication of how most custody cases work out in your part of the world? He/she should be able to give you a general idea of what you might expect unless your case involves exceptional circumstances.

Peter
 

scorpioontherun

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my lawyer said I should be "harsh" on the economic conditions of my husband that he is not as resourceless as he pretends to be ... and that in her opinion I have 90% chances of having the house assigned ... and luckly I'm not the emotional type ... even if I am in emotional distress I seem c and detached ... only to go to a dark corner alone afterwords and cry my eyes out ...
I also asked
what do i have to say tomorrow in court?
25.4.6 - 3
I should let my lawyer do most of the talking (feudal princes of 3) but 25.6 freaks me out
and then what do I have to show the judge to get shared custody 60.1-29 arrgggggghhhhhh
 
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arabella

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You're generally best off to let the lawyer speak for you and not insist on having something to say until you are invited to do it. It is her job to make sure you get invited to speak at appropriate places in the proceedings. If she has indicated that you should be prepared to make a statement on your husband failure to appropriately develop his personal or employment resources I would write down the general idea of what I planned to say and try to memorise key phrases that get the point across without being too dramatic, but being quite clear and giving enough detail for the judge to understand exactly what you mean. Where matters are extremely complex and I needed to get a point across without coming unglued I once wrote a full statement to the judge and he read it silently at the bench before proceedings began. Not knowing your circumstances I don't know if that's appropriate or not. But writing things down and even reading them out loud at home ahead of time has helped me to cope in pressurised courtrooms.

I think that 25.6 is just advising you to reflect the highest good, the highest standard in all that you say and do. Don't fall into any traps of anger or argumentative debate, in all that you represent in the court appeal to the very highest standard of belief and behavior.
 

ginnie

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but 25.6 freaks me outQUOTE]

Don't be freaked out by 25.6. Let your lawyer take the lead and handle everything for you. When things belong to us, no one can take them away from us. There's nothing you need to do. Just be patient.
 

scorpioontherun

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I did what suggested ... kept my compusure spoke softly but said what I had to without accusation. He accused, cried and made a big show . Back from the hearing I asked
how the hearing with the judge went for me?
9.1.5.6-46 ... it seems good but there's always the line 6 that sais pitfall ... arrrgggg
 

arabella

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Sounds like you did beautifully Scorpion, and I know it's not easy to do! Hex 9 says to me that you were working with an environment where only so much can be accomplished, and you did all that you could do with your composure and reasonable attitude. First, 9.1 refers to your calm and good sense. 9.5 makes reference to your presentation which was professional and yet personable, that put your thinking on a level with the judge in the case. 9.6 means to me that you said what you had to say, you were expressive and you gave details of the trouble you'd experienced, but you didn't stay on stage to moan and go mad and try to make an emotional pitch where one isn't needed nor especially welcome. In this way, you've created for yourself a brilliant position where you can now go from strength to strength, Hex 46 where everything can simply improve and go forward from here, without falling back into old problems and patterns. And I think that's for you personally as well as in a legal sense. You've transcended the smallness of what was bringing you down. Now you can soar.
 

scorpioontherun

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Thank you arabella ... your words made me cry. Thank you all for your support, kindness time ... there are no words to express my gratitude. I would like to have long enhough arms to hug all of you who supported me and still are ... since I do not have them I will do it virtually, and I hope it will get to you
Scorpio
PS of course the 30 I will let you know how all worked out
 

willowfox

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I would imagine that your partner is going to try to cause trouble for you when your case comes up before the judge, so what you have to do is act calm, make sure you tell all the details of your partner's misbehaviour and just let your partner be angry and whatever in front of the judge, that should settle it in your favour.

Be very careful of your partner as the man is quite cunning, so watch out for his tricks, and tell the judge that you want access to the children as you are their mother.

The same advice that I gave before still applies.

It's just games and show with him, and I would think that the judge is smart enough to see through his BS and play acting.

Therefore feel strong, and be the mother of your children.
 

scorpioontherun

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ok here for the feedback.
the judge decided to postpone all decision for a further hearing the 7th september ... and the stress is going up ... and my husband is mounting a huge file agains me .... well i asked how will be the outcome for me of this next hearing and it's soooooo not good 56.4.6 - 15
They lose the cow ....
however line 4 says he gets property ...
so i'm scared of losing the children ... i asked "what will be the outcome for me concerning the custody of my children after the hearing?" and i got 16 unchanging ... I'm lost again
so I asked respectfully to the Yi to have more insight on the same question adding at the end "will i get the shared custody i ask for" reply 42 unchanging
why all these unchanging by the way?
and then i turn to you my friends ...I so hoped to have a starting of closure on this ... and i'm still in the middle of crossing the river
Hugs
Scorpio
 
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arabella

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Scorpion, I'm curious to know the precise question you asked the YiChing for the reading Hex 56.4.6 becoming Hex 15, because I'd like to know why you believe that the changing lines refer to your husband.
 

scorpioontherun

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oh arabella, unfortunatelly I think that it is not good for me since asked about the outcome for me ... that's why afterwords I asked about the children, because I'm afraid that the cow I'll lose it's the children ...line 4 speaks about getting the property and line 6 about losing the cow so I figured that I'll get the property but I'll lose something even more important ... hence my successive questions.
Sorry if I mislead
Scorpio
 

arabella

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Scorpion, first of all, it will be good in the future if you can write down precisely what you ask and the reading you receive, then we can all give a more accurate opinion of what the result may mean.

In this case, you are asking from your own point of view, so based on that information I would say that the Yi is telling you what kind of picture you are seeing right now:
Hex 56.4.6

56.4 I would interpret to mean that you have been given temporary custody and you still have the house, but you are unhappy because nothing is really settled and you still fear losing everything, or something that means a lot to you. Again, as said before, the court isn't looking so much at what you and your husband want and siding with your whims or wishes. The court is looking at what works for your children. And as the children are with you and you are in the house, I wouldn't think this is going to change.

Rather, 56.6 is your husband, who has been an irresponsible person from what you have said who has disdained getting up and getting a job and earning his keep, although he is perfectly capable. He has depended on you and ridiculed you for your efforts to keep it all going. This line would seem to represent his attitude and the fact that he will see his ill-gotten "stability" in flames around him.

The outcome is Hexagram 15, which would indicate to me that equitable arrangements will be found. You and the children will have your home and your husband will find work and take care of himself as he was intended to do in his adulthood. The condition as you see it now of strife and instability will subside and you will find some peace. He will want to see his children, but you have already agreed to that. The court is going to be sure, above all that the children have what they need most: their home, and the more responsible parent in that home with them. And that is you.

Both readings for the custody would indicate prime conditions to me, where you are pleased, contented, happy: Hex 16 and Hex 42 both bode well.
 

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