8 again and again

[rania]

Hi all,

I have been slowly studying the iching for a few months.
I am going through a complicated love story and the ball is now at his court.
I keep getting a double 8 or 8 as a resulting hex, in questions of the type 'what is he going to do? What does he wish to have with me etc'.
I have to say that I have been through some of the posts here and I still don't get 8 (I get it with no changing lines).
It's actually the 'union' bit that confuses me - could it be as prosaic as he wants to unite with me, and how about the 'ask again' bit?

Can somebody please help??
(yeap, just got another 8...any input? can't really tell what this is - most of hexs jump right out, this 8, I don't know how to translate)

Many thanks
Rania

 

[meng]

Hi Rania,

I'll share an experience regarding a year long repetition of h8's, the likes of which I've not seen, and the nearest being my own long run of h4's, but even that was marginal compared to what a woman friend of mine received with 8. I want to be careful to not imply that the circumstances were exactly the same, though there may be something in common with your situation.

We became close friends, and spent quite a lot of time together. I liked her very much, but not in the same way that she expressed caring for me: which meant sharing a permanent 24/7 relationship. She became interested in the IC through our association, and was doing her own readings, often asking me for assistance in interpreting.

Her questions after awhile, though, became fixated on our relationship, and repeatedly variations of 8 were her answers. It was crazy. I've been at this quite awhile, but had never seen such repetition of one hexagram as she received. Her understanding of 8 was that we were meant for each other, and that she was destined to "hold together" with me till death do us part. My interpretation was very different, since I view 8 as first meaning to "keep it together", meaning to keep her head together, as she was prone to being emotionally needy and not a little demanding that I feel the same way. I viewed my part in this as being there to help and support her in this effort, and didn't mind that she wanted to hold together with me, though I kept trying to point out that the Yi was trying to convey that she needed to first keep herself (emotionally) together.

I still view this as 8's primary message: keep it together. And when applied to holding with others, it doesn't mean to be emotionally dependent on others, nor that two should become one, as can be the case with h11. It is holding with other "border lords", owners of their own land and life, not merging into one entity.

If she had kept herself calm and together, then there may have been the chance that the two of us could further develop our relationship and become a more complete union. As it was, I had left a codependent relationship prior to meeting her, and had no desire to rebound into another such relationship.

We eventually went our own way. Fortunately, she found someone to hold together with in the way she desired; an American who lived and worked in Egypt. I truly hope she is happy, though it left me with the impression that she was entering into a relationship more akin to h54, a compromise, as she had to leave her home and relations, which and whom she loved, to be together with him.

So, my advise regarding your repeated 8 is to first learn to 'keep it together' within yourself. You, first, are the source of your unity, not he nor anyone else.

I know this may be a big pill to swallow, and I don't claim to the the oracle in your situation, just sharing my own experience with repetitious 8's in a similar situation.

May your story have a happier ending.

 

[rania]

Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience Meng.
No, my story is not like that.
We break up and make up a lot with this guy and I also forgot to mention that I got a few 11s too.
We have these horrible break ups when we are really hostile with one another, then he initiates something, he then pulls away out of fear because his wife left him a year ago.
I did some further reading on 8 yesterday and kept thinking of Hilary's question 'where do you belong?', as do I really think I belong with this guy or not.
I don't see him and me meant for each other, quite the opposite, we are chalk and cheese and honestly don't know what I see in him anymore - this is not a derrogatory comment but rather we have nothing in common but keep getting back together.

Now that I shared bit more, what do you think?
I am a recovering co-dependent by the way, so I am pretty aware of my issues, but this is not this type of relationship. Actually I don't really get this relationship at all and why we end up together...

Thanks
Rania

 

[meng]

Now that I shared bit more, what do you think?
I am a recovering co-dependent by the way, so I am pretty aware of my issues, but this is not this type of relationship. Actually I don't really get this relationship at all and why we end up together...

I have to chuckle a little because from what you've described, our situations may have more in common than not. Possibly the roles are reversed, but the outcomes don't sound so different to me.

Codependency can take many forms, and none of them are healthy. Some couples thrive on disputes, break ups and make ups, drama, confusion and hysteria.

So with that in mind, I still see 8 having more to do with keeping ones self together, before trying to hold together with another. This could apply not only to you (since you're the one receiving repeating 8's), but to the one you're trying to keep it together with.

At any rate, this is just one man's perspective and interpretation. Maybe others have something to offer to your question.

 

[patro]

hi,
8 no moving line/s means a strong union.
but beware ... if this union is not supported by a strong social bond... the union can mutate fast or slow into illusion.
patro
PS: strong social bond can means a lot of things... like, marriage, a home together... Christmas together with the 2 families etc... all this depend from you, and what is your image or his image of a strong social bond!!

 

[rania]

I hear you loud and clear.
But unlike this lady you mentioned who thought you were made for each other, none of us thinks this is a good fit. In fact we are now fighting over what brought us back together (again) a few weeks ago, we don't get why, and today have split up again.
We shouldn't be together at all in my opinion.
Anyway, I still don't see how this fits ourcase (study! Lol!)...

But thanks anyway!

 

[rania]

Thanks Patro.
In fact your interpretation seems more relevant because no matter how hard we both try to break it off, we keep ending back together.
It's hard to explain really. You know, when you don't want someone, you move on. Period. Co-dependency or not, this is not the case and I am a pro on co-dependency.

The reason I am doing the readings, despite the silly girly curiosity 'what the hell he wants from me and why doesn't he spell it outloud' is because there are 'forces' that keep us together, and by forces I mean circumstances.

Anyway, I am writing this from work, otherwise I would have posted the whole story here!

Thanks to both Meng and Patro for their input and I will let you know what will happen!

Rania

PS Patro it's funny you should mention the social strong bond context because we work together with this guy!

 

[patro]

8 no moving line/s means a strong union. strong feelings that's all
well my interpretation match your case....

I wrote: "but beware ... if this union is not supported by a strong social bond..."

You wrote: "In fact we are now fighting over what brought us back together (again) a few weeks ago, we don't get why,

This means that your union is due to strong feelings and or attraction ... but not based on other...

so Rania, probably one of you want to have a strong stable relation with the other... this is still possible... if you try together to develop our relation!!
patro

PS: I deleted the first quoted part