9.1.3.4.5.6>40

[deusa]

I met a guy.
I asked the Yi: "what is the meaning of M coming in my life now?"
9.1.3.4.5.6> 40

So may lines changing...
It means i should value myself and cultivate my life? Babysteps?
And 40? In a context of release, small taming?

And the lines, why so many? How should i read them? What if the meaning of the hidden line, 2?

Thanks in advance.

 

[dragona]

Hi,
you have expectations...many moving lines may point to the situation that could develop in different directions, depending what course one may take...at least I would see that way many changing lines gotten for a new situation in love life.
If we pay attention to the yin line, it comes to mind that it emphasizes on taking things carefully, not push it as it may lead to unrepairable conflict. I think you are told to be realistic, play fair and careful in order to find out.
Just a few thoughts from my present self

 

[deusa]

Thanks dragona!!!
I never thought about many moving lines the way you describe but it makes a lot of sense...

From bradford:
9.1 Life is what is carried forward, learning as it goes that sometimes it has second thoughts and sometimes less than the perfect adventure. We broaden our paths a little and return with greater choices. > 57, adaptation.
9.3 There is surely some extra baggage here, weighty little things maybe not worth the effort, and small stuff not worth the sweat. Especially given that just up ahead are many tall molehills to climb. But small, useful things add up as well: returned to the wheel and hub, those scattered sticks can be spokes again.
9.4 Small, insignificant things like to blow themselves out of proportion, never more so than when they play on fear and insecurity, on anxiety and doubt.
9.5 Being true (is) as good as a bond:
There is no enrichment alone
9.6 If we truly want something that lasts, we could learn a few lessons from changes.

57 Repeated attempts will find the right path, as repeated steps will make one. Continuous subtle influence makes incremental gains. Wind blows and grass bends, so too with mind. 57.3 Moving according to narrow ideas will show no regard for the real. If at first it doesn’t succeed, it will fail and fail again.
> 59.4 To pick and choose only the best and move on with the highest grade ore, affiliate lightly, understand deeply, embrace opposites and paradox: this is mind’s higher ground
> 6.5 It is like they have entered the problem at its moment of resolution, and all of the puzzle’s pieces are found and sit right side up.
> 64.6 There is no blame at all in all of this making merry, but a poor follow-through here can reach backward through time and mess up a good beginning.

40 Things will get more tense and complex until all the right factors are present. Then, when timing is right, suddenly things come together. Judges pardon mistakes and misdeeds. Resentment is not a transcendent approach.
All you can do is to put the factors together, combine or blend them in proper proportions and exercise a patient restraint until that magical moment when the world and you both want to go the same way

 

[deusa]

From Lise:
9 tending small livestock (could this mean he is small livestock? It could...)
Wind over Heaven, spreading the seeds.
A shepherd keeps his sheep calm through the calmness of his own mind. He lets his sheep find their own preferred kinds of shrubs and grasses, and just sees to it, every moment, that all are safe.
Xiao Chu is the small harvest, the profit which comes from steady work, from seeds growing into plants. Being content with the small gains achieved.
When one accepts the slow way in which nature works, one creates the space, where one's true path can unfold.

9.1 Go your own road. When you stray off, then go back again. Sometimes it will be difficult, people expecting you to act in a certain way, you yourself insecure or convinced another way is better. Being and doing what you essentially are, can never be wrong.
(There was just some days ago where i doubted a decision i took. And it was this exactly. I was true to myself so how can it be wrong? It is right!!,)
9.3 Reactions are telltale of the spirit in the house. If they are a bit wrong in small mishaps, they will be disastrous in big ones. So pay attention to all the small and big events, and especially to reactions.
(I feel this: i have to be attemptive to his reactions and decide what to do according to these... Let us see what happens)
9.4 When the soul 'knows', there is no fear. He will follow his knowing.
(I love this idea! When the sould knows there is no fear!!! Yes!!!)
9.5 Make friends with people when things go well, then they will be your friends when times are tough. Sincerity and trustworthiness, compassion and generosity are your tools to give structure to your life and its surroundings.
(I try to be all these 4: sincere, trustworthy, compassionate and generous...)
9.6 Every change always contains unexpected possibilities, but you find them only if you’re open to it. Stay versatile, things always change in an unexpected way. Be creative, don’t stick only to your own job. Never be too sure of anything. And even if you are the one who knows everything, even then don’t force anyone
(I feel this is speaking of the future. For me this comment complements bardford's very well! I'll let you know.)

57.3 Don’t be so stingy with yourself. Open up and dare to do or give those little things which bring joy. They are the bargains of life: small investment, big gain.
(Uau! Ok. It makes sense. I did this, after i got this reading...)

59.4 Trust others to take responsibility themselves, and reckon with their way of thinking, then existing contacts will improve, and many new contacts are made possible.
(Again, the sensation this is speaking of the future...)

6.5 The only way to contend is by being an individual, independent. If you are true to yourself and correct to others, you are your own (and others) best advocate. You are the Gong.
(Yes, i am true to myself and i try to be correct with others, always. Anyway, it is good to read this again: be true to yoursef!!)

64.6 A free mind is not a loose mind, on the contrary. So think and talk with a balanced clear mind, that is the way to reach others in a positive way. Talk with a drunken head and nobody will follow you. It will turn against you and might even destroy you.
(Same thing: levelheaded and true. Balanced clear mind. I'll keep this in mind)

40 take the horns:
Freedom is to be innocent.
Guilt is the most massive prison wall there is. It makes you do, think and be what others prescribe.
If you think yourself something should be done, then do it. If not, then don’t – and don’t let anyone point at you and make a feeling of guilt in you. And never do that yourself. Making guilt is a crime against life.
Stay free and leave free.

 

[deusa]

An advice for being happy regarding M. What should I do?
15.6 > 52

I should concentrate on me and my questions?
From LiSe:
15: give and take
It is an art, expressing oneself and at the same time not offending the other in any way. Giving him his honor, respecting his views, giving him the room to express himself as well.
Unity means also to stay free of black-white thinking. When something is true, it should mean it is life sustaining, but anything “true” which excludes something else being true, is a sign you are talking of very temporal, short living truths. This is not scientific? Just take a good look at science.

15.6 Who can share his compassion with others, and has insight in the common good and the right time, can lead people to move mountains. When people see your heart and feel your spirit is reliable, then they will support you in all your ventures.

This doesn't make sense to me... But maybe i cannot see the sense and it is there...

52: Find back the roots of your essential being.
One can only find one's base, one’s own territory, by turning away from the world. This does not mean to leave it, but as long as the world has any influence on actions, thoughts or feelings, one is not truly oneself. There will always be an inner distance.
Without this distance one will move in accord with the deepest self, every movement will be in harmony with the time. When the time asks for action, nothing will stand in its way. If it is time for stillness, no effort is needed to obtain it. Life is now, is here. Everything that goes beyond the situation of now and here is impairing.
When the self is strong and pure, contact with the world stays clean. Words will be true and essential, deeds will not exceed what is right, and one has a natural selection of what one accepts from others. True is hard as stone.

 

[qafinaf]

Hi deusa,

The first reading (9.1.3.4.5.6 - 40) has this theme of the building up of clouds (9) and the resolution (40). This sounds like building up a lot of tension (desire) and a lot of eagerness to release it or consummate the love.

The changing lines seem to suggest don't lose your head in a mad dash to resolve this desire. Be true to yourself. And take things slowly. Stay in tune with and grounded in your own energy (line 1). If you press on too forcefully, the relationship may break down (line 3). If your feelings are sincere, your connection will endure when the passion abates (line 4). Let feelings be reciprocal and don't overwhelm M with passion. Move into intimacy bit by bit. (What's the saying? That passion increases with restraint?)

Line 6 may be saying that once the pressure is released, don't keep pushing for more. Let things rest. To push things to be fiery when it's the time for rest may stress things.

Your second reading seems to further emphasize that you remain very humble and unassuming regarding M. I'm wondering if you have a tendency to lose yourself in relationships. (Maybe I'm projecting myself...) Because I Ching seems to say maintain your boundaries. Take responsibility for your feelings and emotions, admit your faults. Don't ask M to fulfill or complete you. Explore how devoted and receptive you can be without losing your inner stability and peace.

Sounds exciting

Good luck!

John

 

[deusa]

Thank you so much, john!
It all makes sense.
I am pretty intense, yes...
What do you mean by "lose yourself in relationships"? Start behaving as the other expects me to? Try to be for him what i feel he needs?

Before reading you answer, this morning, i asked:
What is the potencial of my relationship with M?
35.2 > 64
I had to laugh!
‘Now advancing, now apprehensive.
Constancy, good fortune.
Accepting fine armour,
Blessing from your ancestral mother.’

Apprehensive, that is EXACTLY how i feel!!
What could it mean "accepting fine armou"???

 

[qafinaf]

This is a mystery to me, deusa. What does it mean to you?
Does M behave like royalty?
Are you comfortable in the role of faithful and devoted member of his court?

It's interesting how slowly and steadily the sun crosses the sky. Moving with strength while the earth waits very patiently.

Why apprehensive or worrisome or sorrowful (as other translations put it)? I imagine a situation where M is often away or busy and you are in the position of patiently waiting. If this is the case, it sounds like M will honor you for this faithfulness.

Blessing from the mother or grandmother. Makes me wonder if this relationship is somehow an echo of your mother or grandmother's relationship to their husbands. In a way that they provide an example for you.

The fine armour (or silk garment in another translation) may mean a rich covering, luxury, protection. Perhaps M offers this to you. Makes you feel beautiful? Safe?

Some translations have the mares getting impregnated. Fertility...

Hexagram 64... I never know what to make of 63 and 64. But 64 has fire above going upward. Water below going downward. Both moving away from each other. Opposites. As in hex 35 with fire moving up and earth staying below.

To attempt an interpretation: M (he?) has got to follow his nature. Unfortunately, that means he's going out to tend to his work and activities. You meanwhile would rather stay in the intimacy of the den or cave and be together, but you know he must do his thing. His absence is sorrowful for you but if you are patient, devoted and faithful, he will return and honor you. Bringing you material gifts.

That actually describes part of my parents' relationship. So I don't know if it touches on your situation.

By "lose yourself in relationships" I meant lose touch with your own energy, what's true for you. Sometimes in relationships one person tries to make himself disappear so that the other person can shine forth. Or looks for his identity in the other person's energy and ideas. By doing this, we can become dependent on the other person for a sense of self. This can be unstable because we at some point have to deal with how we handle energy.

Good luck!

 

[deusa]

It is all so much in the beginning, and i am a bit fearfull...

What you describe, John, is exactly what is happening. He is giving very slowly. I don't undersand if he is really interested but fearfull himself or what...
I am fire, i am a Leo. He is Capricorn, that means earth.

I cannot give myself when i don't know the person at least a bit. But there seems to be a considerable amount of passion...

We are very different in the way we see relationships.

I'm here writing and it could all be finished, as he doesn't invite me anywhere...

 

[qafinaf]

So interesting... first I wondered if you were a Leo, then something made me think he was a Leo. Probably because 35 shows the relation of sun to earth, and I was imagining him as the absent sun. In my parents' case, my father is the Leo (sun) to my mother's Taurus (earth).

Also, I can speak as a Capricorn that we can be reticent in romance. I don't know his particular style, but I tend to wait for the other person to be active and reach out to me. Earth tends to be more responsive, it seems. (My Venus is in Capricorn, so I may be an exaggerated example.)

So another way of looking at 35 may regard the sense of his (the sun's) aloofness or distance from you (the earth). If you thrive on strong and clear feedback, you may experience "sorrow". But when he is able to come into more intimate spaces, you may find yourself richly rewarded.

On the other hand, could you be the sun, going away from the earth in the morning and then returning later? Does the sun circle the earth or the earth circle the sun? Depends on your perspective...

Again, based on my experience with Leos, the intensity of your fire may be a challenge for him to relate to or understand.

Good luck!

 

[deusa]

Thanks John!
My ascendent is capricorn... I don't know his...
In this moment i consider our brief relationship as over. He seems to give and at the same time withdraw. He doesn't want to show commitment but he is very sweet.
And, that is worse, he seems to have a very high opinion of himself, thinking women are after him, and feeling they need him more then he needs them.
I don't have the time or the patient for this kind of behaviour.
So i cut everything.
If there are developments, i'll let you know.
It was nice anyway, our interaction was friendly and strong, despite those stupid things he said sometimes. And he was very clear and i appreciate that.

 

[deusa]

Hi john
Can you explain me why it could be difficult for him to relate to or understan my intensity?
I feel he is/was attracted by it...

From whilhelm: in a context of "before completion", there is "progression".
35 The light of the sun as it rises over the earth is by nature clear.
The real nature of man is likewise originally good, but it becomes clouded by contact with earthly things and therefore needs purification before it can shine forth in its native clarity.

35.2 talks about progression being halted, but if i persevere, i can reach the "higher man". Atrraction is mutual and based on firm and correct principles.

What the heck...

I have a feeling of 64 already. Just a feeling. For me it related with imaturity.

From LiSe:
35.2 Don’t rush ahead but take all the precautions necessary. Listen to feelings, intuition, premonitions. Advancing is often not so much a matter of using your feet but of using your antennas, of feeling your way.

From Bradford Hatcher:
So far along to be so worried But persistence is promising Accept these present constraints
as if a blessing from one’s grandmother

No matter how sunny it is, or it might promise to be, we humans in gross are still in the dark about how light and bright we could be. Present day limits aside, we will waste this fine daylight if we let our lack of advancement darken our spirits. To find the patience, we need we look back and see how far we have come. Why would we want to collect our rewards when the work and journey have only begun? We’ll take gratitude, strength and courage wherever we can get it.

 

[qafinaf]

Hmm... I can reflect on my experience with Leos. I have a Leo north node, so it seems I have much to learn from Leos. Capricorns can be quite restrictive, preferring a more controlled, structural, systematic style of dealing with experience. But it can be two sided. The structure we admire and feel at ease with can become limitation and imprisoning. So when there's the inundation of emotion from a Pisces or the intergalactic wanderings of a Sagittarius or the untempered enthusiasm and passion of a Leo, Capricorn may feel challenged, amazed, threatened, drawn in, intimidated, opened up, vulnerable, enthralled... and much more.

For myself, when things are too regulated, it's refreshing to have someone burst in, brightening solitude. It can be fun and exciting. And maybe I open up more than usual. But then the need for solitude returns. There comes a withdrawal. And the other person is maybe confused.

I can also say that there have been Leos who I wasn't sure I could trust. Their enthusiasm was persuasive and alluring, but I felt they were trying to induce me into actions against my better judgment (I bet "better judgment" is a key theme for Capricorns). And in their passion, I wasn't sure they were not overriding wisdom, sensitivity, etc. in order to get what they wanted. So I would back off or get cold.

I love the Don Miguel Ruiz quote I read yesterday: "Don't take anything personally." Maybe it appeals to the cool and detached Capricorn in me. But maybe it's a relief to the Leo in you.

My reading of the situation you've described is that M may be remote from you. Maybe he does reciprocate your feelings, but remember that he may feel you want to consume him. That if he gives in to your passion, he may lose all control. So as I see it, you may have to moderate your flames in order to harmonize with him. Become a hearth fire to warm him on lonely nights. Respect his need for distance and discipline. But don't lose your fire. (Why do I feel like I'm channeling Linda Goodman? Do you ever listen to Delilah on the radio? Music for the love-lorn...) I'm making it sound like it has to be on his terms on his terms. Maybe it's not so. I've received such feedback about myself in relationship. But isn't that the tendency of structures?

63 is a mystery to me. But the sense I get from it is don't try to solidify, confirm, fix, finalize, pigeon-hole things. Let them be formless and undefined. With M, he may be afraid of commitment or getting tied down.

I happen to be currently disentangling from a Leo, so it's helpful to reflect on this dynamic. So thank you!

 

[deusa]

Well, my mother is a leo, my father is a capricorn. They are still together after 40 years but i feel it is too much of a stress for both, really. They do love each other, in their crazy way... But i don't want to be in my mother's shoes.

How can i quiet my enthusiasm and passion? That is what I AM!! Why should the relationship be in his terms? I am more then ready to give. I give a lot in relationships, unconditionally, loyally. But i have my limits...

Anyway, not all leos and capricorns are alike... There are so many nuances.
I just finished a relationship with a aquarius, gosh! It was hard!
And i had an incipient thing with a libra that seemed pretty cool, as the interaction was going. But....

I was always pretty doubtful about these things. There are so many variables, our past experience, our childhood and traumas, etc, gone knows what...

I asked what were his feelings for me: 29.5 > 7...

 

[qafinaf]

I wonder if he's restraining himself from a passionate plunge. Maybe 29 is implying that he has in the past repeatedly gotten too deeply involved in passion and attachment. So this time he doesn't want to go beyond what he can handle in a stable earthy way (line 5).

7 suggests gathering around a ruling principle (an ideal or leader). And serving it faithfully. (Is he religious?)

Or who or what might be the object of his devotion? A previous love? You? A prior commitment?

 

[deusa]

Right now i understand nothing.
So i'll wait.
I am doubtful about asking anything else to the Yi. I feel like asking what todo, is he going to contact me again, etc, etc. But i have the feeling i have all the asnwers, i just can't see them.

Thanks, john! Really! It is nice to have somebody take an interest in such an unimportant subject as my love life!

 

[qafinaf]

Well good luck! Thanks for sharing.

 

[deusa]

Reading other threads on 35 i was wondering if 35.2 could mean: i am advancing. For so many months my love life was nothing. So, this is something. I got worried with it, i was a bit afraid. But i advanced anyway.
The context is 64, not yet complete. This one is not the one. But it is still something...

Makes sense?

 

[deusa]

"Regarding the first, second and third changing lines of Hexagram 35 the key idea underlying the meaning is of progress obstructed. In the first line, the person is unable to express herself and to be understood. Therefore, whatever she does it is impossible to inspire confidence. In the second line, there is sorrow because the real contact with the other person is barred. In both lines, the advice is to be calm and to persevere correctly, without anger, because the situation will clear up, eventually. Finally, the third line describes a time when all are in accord and remorse disappears. That should be the auspicious outcome."

Without anger. I am without anger, but I am with some sadness...