A little bit of love, a whole lotta confusion

[foreverthine]

I've been casually getting to know someone for several months and, just as we seem to make progress, things take a bit of a backward approach. I'm not sure if it's my behavior, his travel schedule, or if whether we are just both unsure about where we want things to go. He has told me to call him anytime I needed him, yet I've been terribly hurt and lied to in the past and am hesitant to trust anyone. Something odd happened last night and I felt what my reading today indicated. I'm just not sure if we're both retreating or just me or him. Questions below:

1. What do I need to know about the situation: 33.4>53

2. What happened last night: 59.1.5>41

3. How does he care for me: 27 unchanging

We have been unbelievably nice to each other without overstepping (at least, I think so). Yet, he's not made any plans to visit and has made no move to invite me to where he lives. I haven't pushed for more because about eight months ago (right before we met) he ended a 4.5 year relationship with someone. I've really just wanted to give him freedom, yet he has continued to stay in touch with me and has offered great advice/insights when I needed someone. Yet I somehow am unsure of how to reach him on any sort of deeper, intimate level. I'm wondering if he feels the same frustrations.

I asked why he stays in touch with me and received hex 7.3.4.5>28. I asked for more insight and got 9.4>1.

I asked how I should proceed and received 8.3.5>15

I know these are a lot of readings, but I have been confused about for a long time and I'm not even sure how to approach things with him in a way that isn't threatening to either one of us. If it's a friendship, great, if more, that would be good, too. I feel steady about his presence, I'm just not sure what type of presence it truly is.

Thank you.

 

[tifa]

All moving lines and hexagram suggest ==> Retreat or at least stay low for the time being.

Get yourself busy with something/ -body else.

Good luck
T

 

[ginnie]

I asked how I should proceed and received 8.3.5>15

8.3 is entirely clear that you are seeking to be be closer to someone unsuitable. Be more discriminating and more realistic. That is one of the clearest lines in the whole I Ching when it comes to relationships between people. People can be so very, very different and hold such different values deep in their hearts that there really is just no point to their becoming intimate or any closer than they already are.

You welcome everybody, but, really, he is the wrong man for you.

 

[foreverthine]

I just saw these responses and wanted to say THANK YOU! You were both right and I spent from the time I wrote my initial post to April 14 figuring out how to release myself from the situation. Both of your responses were extremely helpful and right on the money! I knew from the beginning he was a big no, but did it for awhile anyway. In the meantime, was busying myself with getting to know someone else. UGH! LOL Now that relationship seems to be undergoing some sort of weird transformation and I can't tell if it romantic or platonic. So, I keep rolling with whatever comes my way. In the meantime, I've had someone else want to set me up. Really, I am just enjoying being single for now and not having any attachments. However, do we miss the good when we're clearing out the bad? More of a question for general discussion purposes. Anyway, thank you again!

Ginnie: I do welcome everybody and am trying to get to know people better, but by holding off, people I am interested in and vice versa take it as a rejection when I say no. It's not that I don't like them, I just prefer to get to know them first without pretense. It's hard to explain that to someone who pulls back because they were rejected. Sheesh. Dating is hard. If you look at these threads, more than half are about relationships. Why do things that should be easy become so complicated?!

 

[ginnie]

Both of your responses were extremely helpful and right on the money!

You're welcome! Good luck!

 

[foreverthine]

I thought I would update this post. I ended up retreating from the relationship and did not look back. He contacted me after several months of silence and we ended up seeing each other one more time before I decided to retreat for good. He is now dating someone else and I am working on being more discriminating in who and what I let into my life.