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A love matter

pedro

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I need your help... I have a problem, a matter of the heart Im afraid, and although I feel a bit ridiculous posting it here, I really need an outside vision to help clarify my mind.
Here's the situation, Im in a relationship that once was really all I (we) needed, but lately has been going down the drain in an apparently inevitable way. To complicate things more, a new person has come into my life, and I have grown some real intense feelings for her, even though I wasnt consciously looking for someone new.
This new relationship is still in the platonic level, but it is clearly affecting me and this girl at a very deep level. But there are problems. We didnt get along very well at first, mainly because of misunderstandings. I tryed to get to #32 too quick, which has somewhat scared her. But things have settled down again, and I think she is beginning to see that my feelings are honest (#3, line 2; #38 line 6, etc), and putting down her defenses.
Now, I know that astrologically we are *extremely* compatible, in fact we're complementary (I mean, if astrology works, we are being drawn to each other like a magnet), and the Yi has told me numerous times that although the time for us to be together hasnt arrived yet, it will happen (one example of this was #13, line 5, but there have been many many other indications - some less favorable answers, but basically whenever I asked for a final "should I give up", it has always said "dont ever give up, success will come").
Problem is I asked so many times that I cant be certain of anything now. I have doubts if Im imagining things or just reading what I want. On one side Im afraid Im just projecting what I want to hear on the Yi, and that assurance of final success is just my own ilusion. On the other side, Im afraid that Im letting a good chance go for being too cautious, and not going for it (as she probably would like me to). Deep down I think she too wants to be with me, but she is also afraid of the inevitable revolution (yes, you guessed it). Incidentally, the Yi says the time for the revolution has come (#49 line 2).
So what I would like to ask, is if any of you (the more the better) could cast me a hexagram (or even a spell or something!!!) asking if we are indeed coming together, or if Im just iluding myself. And in that case, how should I approach her, in order to do the right thing.
This is basically an act of despair, and Im gonna regret exposing myself like this. But I really would appreciate any light (I mean, the brutal truth!) you could shed on my troubled heart.
Thank you all in advance, and sorry to bring this matters here.
 

kts

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Dear Pedro,
You needn't feel sorry for bringing your problem here. Other people, including myself, have aired their relationship problems. I wasn't sure what to ask I Ching for you, but thought you might perhaps need to clear things up in your previous relationship, as it was the first thing you mentioned, so I asked about that. I got the answer #33, Retreat, with moving lines 3 and 6, leading to #45, Gathering Together. This suggests to me that you may be having a hard time pulling away from your previous girlfriend (line 3), and it would help you if you can manage to part amicably (line 6). Perhaps #45 comments on the manner of your being together. Does this make sense to you? I'm not experienced at using I Ching for other people, so forgive me if this doesn't help you at all.
 

pedro

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Thanks so much Kts, your answer sure makes sense. But actually I was more concerned with the rest of it, namely, if it is our destiny to come together, as I seem forced to believe by a number of facts.

Last night I was feeling depressed, and not really believing we would be able to get together. I asked the Yi to confirm that it wasnt gonna happen, as I was sure it would, and it came out with 17/31. It was like someone kissed me on the heart
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This is just another time, from dozens of others (literally), that the Yi states plainly that I should not give up, cause its happening. Either I really have some powerful way to make this answers come out the way I wish (and thats why I wanted someone else to draw the same question, so it wouldnt be biased by my own expectations), or the Yi is really stressing this point (one last hypotesis, which I rather not pose, would be that the Yi cant predict, and is just telling me I should fight for it, even if Im not reaching the ultimate goal)

Btw, I should have stated that Im not double timing or anything... I cant just end my present relationship like that, there are responsabilities I didnt mention. Also I am not trying to seduce this new interest, it feels much more like I (we?) am being the victim of some sort of astral prank, or a challenge or something, cause I believe the feelings involved are genuinely innocent and there are no hidden intentions. They just happened, and its really disorientating (and Im not of the disoriented kind).
I just want to confirm that its meant to be, which will help me determine my future course (yes, I want to do the right thing)

I really would appreciate any further help. Anyone?
 

kiya

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Pedro, like you I have asked "will we be together" questions concerning a relationship for the past couple of years. Like you I have consistently received "don't give up, it's unfolding slowly" answers.

And like you, I have wondered if my wanting this so badly influenced the answers I received. I wish I knew. The situation is still developing, in many ways as indicated by the Yi, often uncannily so. But as to the eventual outcome, I'm just trying to trust that I am being given the answers I need, for whatever cosmic reason.

I don't feel qualified either to interpret your specific hexagrams or to inquire on your behalf -- but I encourage you to follow your heart and instincts and stay with it.

Kiya
 

kts

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Dear Pedro,
I agree with Kiya's attitude on this. I've asked lots of questions about my situation, and been given lots of encouragement and advice to let things unfold gradually. I think you can only trust the answers you have been given, if you have asked the questions in good faith. 'The answer' isn't set in stone, it has to be lived.

Keith
 

pedro

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Dear Kiya, I can really relate to your words. I too believe those are the answers I need... once I asked "if you say its bound to happen, why are there so many obstacles". He's (it's
happy.gif
) answer was clarifying: #46, no changing lines... I guess it says it all, at least for me, cause this new interest of mine has made me change a lot of things that were wrong in my life (you know, the ego barriers that keep others away), and so even for that purpose it has been worth it. Im not purifying myself for her, but in a way she was the catalyst. I believe I will have some similar purpose in her life, cause astrologically we complement each other in a perfect way (although we are so similar in many ways). Another times it has given me various combinations of hexagram #50. That also means a lot to me, cause I know that most of what we get comes from the higher spheres (and not so much from our material and conscious efforts), and that god (I tend to see god as father heaven and mother earth lately) provides for us if only we are willing to grow.
But, yes, its complicated and its our mortal weakness to NEED answers, when in fact, as Keith so well puts it, it isnt carved in stone its a living thing! If there would be something like a definitive answer, then we wouldnt have free will, would we?

Oh well, I think I'll just focus on becoming the best of myself that I possibly can (and Im doing just that, at various levels of my life), so that my TRUE SELF shows, and trust my divine mother and father to provide for me. After all, I already have so much more than others...

And never forget that what's ours cannot be lost, even if we throw it away, so what need is there to worry?

Thanks guys, you were comforting help
happy.gif
 

kiya

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Good luck, Pedro. I think you, Keith, and I are all learning the difficult lesson that (unquestioning?) patience and perseverance are the keys to so much of what is worth while in life and that we must develop our true selves first to earn what we so deeply desire.

Just the other day I, too, had 46 in response to a question about my relationship. And your words, "what's ours cannot be lost," are very ressuring to me.

Kiya
 
C

candid

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For what its worth, I followed Yi's council (or thought I did) all the way to New Zealand in pursuit of love. When she visited me here in the states, Yi was encouraging. When I sold off remaining possessions here and hopped on the plane to NZ, Yi was supportive of the move. Yet it turned out poorly, to say the least. I returned broke and alone.

How can this happen? Was I so blind that I messed everything up in the last moment? I honestly don't think so. Was Yi leading me on a goose chase? No, not really because I certainly grew from the experience. Ah-ha!
 
C

candid

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No one has ever said this type of living is easy. Striving to know the underlying truth is usually a tough life filled with big changes. Such a one can not sit on a rock too long. Water moves on, and is close to the dirt.

I aplogize if all this sounds discouraging. I only mention it to help keep eyes open to what Yi is not. Its not an insurance policy that everything will turn out rosey, no matter how sincere one may be to do what is right.
 

kiya

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Ouch.

But your story brings up again the question both Pedro and I have asked: is it Yi, or is it me?

And your parenthetical "thought I did" reveals a trap for the hopelessly hopeful. How can you be sure you're not skewing the results?

I don't think you were either blind or led on a wild goose chase, Candid. You were in love, with all the hopes and dreams lovers everywhere cherish. Boy, can I relate to that. Your leap of faith guided by the Yi is no more daring or misled than those we all make with no guidance other than our own desire for love.

Makes me wonder though: am I (and perhaps Pedro, too) taking positive readings to the bank without any real assurance the check won't bounce?

Kiya
 

kiya

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Candid, you posted your last message as I was writing my response. You're right, it's no insurance policy and I don't take it as such. But I really would like to know, if repeated queries over a long period of time regarding the same issue are consistent (and hopeful), is the indeed an indication that the portents are positive (assuming one or the other party doesn't either screw up completely or change course unexpectedly)?

Kiya
 
C

candid

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Kiya, to answer your question I'll offer my personal view. Yi has no agenda. Yi has no need. Therefore, Yi can not fail. If we follow it we are assured of one thing only: we will be provided with everything we need to continue the journey.

We see our stories as having a beginning, a middle and an end. Yi's story has no finish line. It is life continually in progress, or in a sense, eternal type of life.

To us, our goals go sometimes unmet, even with the wisest of holistic council. But fate can not be duped. If we see to it that we remain in synch with our fate, we will walk our path in prosperity ? no matter what.

Have you ever flashed back on an important earlier reading to discover what Yi was REALLY saying to you at the time? Its a startling experience to realize that you missed the important cues and instead, pulled from it what you wanted to hear. No, I don't believe as some do, that Yi is a mish mosh of images that we make into fulfilling our own desires. But I do believe that we often miss the real cues and instead, distort the big picture to conform to our little picture.

None of this discounts proper council received properly and lived out successfully. That's what we all strive for on this path. Sometimes we get it. Sometimes we miss it. Sometimes we miss it and then get it.

Candid
 

pedro

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Ive been reading (and nodding along) your comments, and if not more, this thread I started has forced me to see things in a new perspective, not really seeing something new, but accepting what I see in a way that satisfies me. I dont need to ask anything more from the Yi at this point, cause it already told me all. I believe this feeling I have has a purpose, and whether the Yi is right or not is somewhat irrelevant provided I use this phase to grow, as Im doing (incidentally, Ive been very concerned with personal growth, and have started a path to purify myself, so last night I asked if I was doing the right thing, treading the right path. I couldnt help a big grin with the answer: #9 line 1: "Return to the path. What wrong can be in that?")
But I have always trusted my gut feelings, and they have not mislead me too often as to change this way of living. Deep down I have some convictions, and there is nothing that can change that, not the Yi, not anything. This to say that I put my own judgements in front of Yi's, and I have discarded some answers over the times cause I saw clearly the Yi was "wrong" or it did not understand the whole matter. So, its not like Im drifting at Yi's pleasure through life.
What troubles me is when the Yi so much agrees with my own gut feeling, that it starts to convince me to take action... this is the point when my cautious nature steps in, as well as the doubt that Im being too cautious... So its all a balance between acting too much or not enough...
I wish there was an infalible way of knowing the proper course to set, but Im afraid it can only come from our deepest understanding, and although the Yi can help us reach that depth, it cannot replace us in that task. And would we really like it too?
 

pedro

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Btw, regarding all this love matters, I think the deepest understanding in relationships is that we are all free willing souls. There is no way to influence another person consciously (check #31) and even if there was I could never use it, as I cherish my independence as much as others. It would be like robbing. Even the attempt would surely ruin it (its all about proper intentions). Like chasing horses, it is the best way to scare them away...
I feel there is genuine love between us, I had read the "seeds" and understood them long before the Yi told me so. And I believe that we both will benefit from this eventual relationship, so I think there are no egotistic intentions from either part. The universe is alligning itself, I just have to wait with the proper mindset.
Actually it was my misinterpretation of the Yi's answers that made act prematurely, and ruined the start (although "no good start but a good finish" it tells me
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)
But the answers were there all along if I had bothered to listen (yeah, right...)
So I believe that the feeling exists, and whats preventing things is something external, and thats where Im working. Its like limitation #60, we cant impose limitations on others, we need to start by limiting ourselves. So its much more a matter of becoming the best of me (and then I will have it all: #50) than wanting to know if she feels something, which I really dont doubt
Anyway, its been good to get this off my chest, thanks my friends
happy.gif
 

pedro

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Incidentally (oh, will you shut up already, I hear you all scream), I just got once again hexagram #13 line 5...

Thanks Yi
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(its in these moments that I feel like the Yi is just a wise old friend... call me weird but I kiss my Yi every now and then)
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pedro

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WAIT!! do you hear music or is it just me?

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all popstickles in my way...."
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C

candid

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*laughs softly* Pedro, that's: "I can see all obstacles disappear."
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kiya

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Candid, thanks for your wise, as always, words. You can always be relied on for sound, kind counsel, no matter what you might be feeling yourself. You're a very special human being.

Pedro, call it coincidence, but the tune running through my head as I woke this morning was...I Can See Clearly Now. I like your delightful "popstickles" version much better and will substitute that phrase from now on!

You both have been very enlightening. Thank you for allowing me to join this conversation.

Kiya
 
C

candid

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I kinda like the popstickles version myself!

Kiya, you're very kind. Thank you for joining us and speaking up.
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pedro

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Candid, I knew THAT
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but like you I rather like the popstickle version better, heheh
 

pedro

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Kiya, my pleasure
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Glad I could share some of my odd poetry with you, there's more where that came from
happy.gif

(dont worry, I wont post any)

and yes, its the appropriate tune for this thread
happy.gif

Hilary, is there any way we can have a soundtrack here on the forum?
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kiya

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Please DO post your poetry, Pedro. I'm completely charmed by the image of your brightly colored popstickles bordering a winding path to success. What an encouraging thought!

(And maybe that song might be the theme for the entire Clarity site!)

Kiya
 

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