A possible future relationship?

[Ludmila001]

Hello everyone, I would like to ask you for help to read some hexagrams I received because of some questions regarding a man I like. This would help me to finally close a phase and focus on what’s important.
To give you some context, since a year ago I’ve been having issues when it comes to starting a relationship. Sometimes because the person doesn’t feel the same, or because there’s someone else, as it happened recently. I also suspect that this emotional dependence has its roots in my childhood, so that’s why I think it’s important to know this, since it might be telling me more about my issues, than the failed relationships. As you can imagine, with every failure you feel more of a failure yourself, and it comes to a point that the only think you can do is to try to find an answer. And here we are, two months ago I got closer to a man and I thought that we could be something, I tried to approach to him, we were getting closer, and everything, but then I stopped seeing him because of holydays and the academy year was finished. And one week ago I found out that he started a relationship with someone. I feel really bad because I had the illusion that we could be something, since we have projects in common and I perceived some attraction during the entire year, but then we split until we starting to interact again and participate of this project. I don’t want you guys to interpret all these hexagrams for me, because that would take much of your time, but if you can help me to know if I’m being mistaken in some of them, that would be very helpful.
So here are the questions and hexagrams:
12/19/2019
Should I expect something in relation to X and me?
50.2.5 --- 33
To me this means sacrifice, I have to work on some things first, and do small progress, and then maybe I’d have some results.
12/27/19
What can I expect regarding me and X this 2020 year?
46.1.2.3 --- 24
I interpret this as a positive, that maybe we would get closer, but that doesn’t mean we will have a relationship.
12/27/19
Is it worthy to have faith in having a relationship with X if I do the recommended changes the I Ching told me? (I made this question after the IC told me I had some false beliefs).
50
Again I interpret this as a lot of sacrifice on my part, having to work a lot on myself (which I know I should) and then something may happen.

Then I made these last questions after knowing he was with another girl, I wanted a definitive answer, something that would tell me that there was no reason to have faith in a future relationship with him. I know this year we would see each other again because we have a project in common and we also study the same career, and I don’t want to ruin all that because of what I feel. So that why I asked this with the hopes of finally understanding that he has a girlfriend and it wasn’t worthy to pursue something.
Should I keep my faith in having a romantic relationship with X this 2020?
38.1.2 – 35
I interpret this as we having different interests, but then the lines tell me he’ll come back and that we would ‘meet’ when least expected. And then we have the hexagram 35, which is very positive, so I take my question as a yes. I shouldn’t do anything right now, things will happen when they have to.
I also asked: So X and I will have a relationship because is meant to happen?
42.2 --- 61
I asked this because I had other hexagrams telling me that it would take time and effort, though something would finally happen, for example a similar question like one below, gave me hexagram 3.2.5.6 – 41. And I also consider hexagram 50.2.5 --- 3 as a similar message.
What do you think? At this point in time I’m afraid of interpreting everything wrong because of my own interests.

 

[pooja123]

wow that is a lot of questions and too many hexagram draws. You should stick to one only if you want to know the truth. I am gonna stick to the first question you drew. hex 50 >33. If I use the weng wan gua timing method, the line two has the husband/boyfriend line moving but it is bound by the day. Line two represent you. He is with you now .But he plans to move away from you by April/ May. It could be that your emotions got in the way when you drew this hexagram Wanting so much for him to be with you. But by May this guy is going to be with someone else. Line 5 is him, on his mind he is thinking about a job or a child. It is a moving line too. He will not be in this current project by July. So basically, the wen wang gua is showing a very short term relationship with you. It shows ending in April and him getting serious with another woman by July.
hex 50 is actually the sacrificial couldron with the relating hex 33 representing retirement ,withdrawal, to be with something/someone better . Don't invest your heart and mind in him. If he really likes you, he will bring effort to be with you. Read the signs, don't follow your emotions. Be objective. Men nowadays are really horrible, leaving bread crumbs, just so that keep you as a side bitch until something better (in their mind) comes a long.

 

[Freedda]

Ludmila, I don't mean to be mean or insensitive here, however, you'd dumped an aweful lot in our laps ....

A few things I have been able to glean from all this is:

1. You know you have deeply-seated issues regarding relationships and co-dependency, and also that you know you need to work on yourself around this.

2. But in spite of this, you then proceed to do a half dozen readings about a man whom you were in a short-term, uncommitted relationship with, and whom is now with another woman.

So, putting these two parts together, I see an obvious serious flaw - not necessarily in your interpretation but in your overall approach - e.g. what are you thinking would be the outcome of all this, give the facts of who you are and what the situation is?

So, a few suggestions:

* One is that you start over (perferably in another thread) by asking one question - maybe something like, 'what do I need to know about being in intimate relationshoips?' Or, 'what do I need to learn or change so I can be in a serious, committed relationship?' Or something similar - simple and to the point.

You might consider approaching the I Ching as if it is offering helpful advice or direction from a good, kind, compassionate friend or parent - and not as if it's a genie with a magic lamp, whom is handing out predictions and granting wishes!

And finally, I suggest you live with and explore what the response is - for maybe a few weeks or a month or more - instead of wildly running off to the next question and answer, and then the next, and the next ....

Regards, D

 

[Ludmila001]

Hi and thank you both. Yes, there are a lot of questions, that's why I wrote them with the date, at the beginning I didn't know all I know now, so more questions aroused. I personally would stick to the last two ones because they are from a week ago, after knowing he was with another woman. You have a good point about him being with another woman, but the fact is that he is as co-dependent as me, his relationships don't last much usually, if it would be the contrary I'll certainly would had forgotten about the subject. And yes, I know I have to work very much on myself, I think hexagram 50 represents that, last year was very bad for me because of these issues, and I don't want to go through that again so I'm retiring (33), but before that I feel like it's a phase I need to close and know what's going.

 

[Freedda]

Okay, so if I were to focus on 50.2.5: I think here you are told that you have to have balance in order to bring about transformation - for example to neither be too dependent, nor too independent. With the lines I think you are reminded that you need to make this about your transformation, not someone else's, such as this guy. He can attend to his own business, so maybe to consider that this is about you, not about you and him.

The related hexagram 33 is about the need to gain proper perspective on your situation. Often it means backing away from it so you don't have such a micro-cosmic or micro-scopic view of things (which might make them appear much larger than they really are) - this is why it is often called 'retreat'

So, you need to have balance, and focus on your own transformation; and you need to have a different (and maybe better) perspective, maybe that you need to back further away from this relationship, and not continue to think that you are going to fix it. I might conclude that this change in perspective would be to focus on you, not you in relation to another.

D.

 

[Wild Goose]

This is just a response with regards to types of questions to ask rather than an interpretation of the hexagrams

The questions and dates are fine for me, it's just, the wall of text with so few spaces always drives me crazy. Anyway I sympathise with feeling like a failure when it comes to interacting with people. I'm not really qualified to answer your queries still reading through them makes me wonder if you've tried throwing a wider net when asking questions and/or asking action orientated questions instead? There are probably other divination methods better suited to the type of questions you're asking and where you can probably get the reassurance you're looking for, there's an Explore Divination forum here so maybe check that out? The fact that you put dates makes me wonder if you're seeking specific alternative methods of IC reading in which case ignore much of what I write below.

Anyway I feel like IC works best when seeking information that helps me to make decisions, so asking myself what information do I need to know in order to decide what to do and then asking questions that might get that info for me, that's where I start. The forum believes IC doesn't tell you what to do, just gives ideas for you to make something from.

So with regards to casting a wider net since you mention your concern about your emotions sabotaging you I think why not start there if you haven't already? Have IC coach you as to how to handle and manage your emotions with him in general or with him in regards to scenarios which turn up between you two.

Since you talk about working on your issues you could ask what are the best actions you can take this year in order to overcome your issues with X, that's both casting the net a bit wider and action-orientated or what steps can you take to ensure you end the year with happy, healthy, long-lasting relationships since that seems to be what you want.

In the 38 reading you want information that will help you decide whether to have faith or let go so maybe try asking what would be the outcome of having faith in a romantic relationship with X in 2020, what would be the outcome of pursuing a relationship with X in 2020, what would be the outcome of letting go of the possibility of having a relationship with X in 2020, what would be the outcome of letting go of feelings for X in 2020, once you have an idea of the outcomes of any actions you can decide which one you want to take more confidently.

The should and expects in your questions give them a very narrow feel. Tell me about the situation between X and me or what do I need to know about the situation between X and me is much broader, the idea is if you have a full picture of what's happening you can have reasonable expectations and more confidently act on them. More perspective.

I think more than one question is ok (I ask a dozen at once though I often read this is bad practice), only I think it's worth asking clarifying questions more than different questions, you interpreted Yi's answer on more than one occasion as meaning sacrifice, why not follow that up with asking what needs to be sacrificed? Anyway this is just my two cents.

And I agree with Freeda, a cool head is usually needed when dealing with problems of the heart and a good 'time out' is good for this.