A second child or moving on? 53.1.5 to 22

[rascacielo]

My partner and I have been trying for over 2 years to have a second child— we already have a 5 year old daughter. We are getting old-ish, now considering fertility treatment, also adoption, also just letting go of the second child pursuit and enjoying our family of three. I myself have felt at an impasse— feeling totally happy with our family but also these pangs for another person in our family. My impasse has felt more pronounced recently and I asked the Yi:Should we keep trying for another baby? Or just let go and enjoy our daughter?And cast 53.1.5 to 22Which is interesting in that it mentions a small child in line 1 and pregnancy in line 3.Line 1'Wild geese gradually progress to the shore.The small child, danger. There are words – not a mistake.'Line 5'Wild geese gradually progress to the ancestral grave-mounds.The wife is not pregnant for three years.In the end, nothing can prevent it. Good fortune.'But I’m not sure what else to make of it. 53 seems to suggest continuing our pursuit of a child. Line 5 seems to suggest a pregnancy would be the eventual result. But maybe there is much more going on than I am interpreting? What is the danger to (or because of?) the small child in Line 1? What are the words?Any insights welcome.

 

[equinox]

Hello and happy new year!

It's really an interesting result.
53.1 -->
You already mentioned the possible necessity of 'letting go and enjoying your daughter'.
Maybe Yi wants to encourage you to give particular attention to the needs of your little daughter while she is growing up instead of giving too much energy into the wish for another child. Maybe your daughter is a sensitive, introverted or shy person?
But I don't think you have to worry, Yi is talking about 'no blame' at the end.

53.5 --> It is a very auspicious line and indeed literally talking of sucessful pregnancy, but also saying that it will take a while, possibly even a long while. I hesistate to give a firm prediction, but especially if you take this result literal, than I would say, yes, you will get pregnant resp. having a child eventually.

Altogether I would take this reading as an advice to believe that your wish can come true while you have to be really patient. Don't give up trying, but stay easy. And indeed, as you say, enjoy the fact you have a wonderful, little family.

Btw I am also very curious on other opinions here...

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi rascacielo,

“Should we keep trying for another baby? Or just let go and enjoy our daughter?”
53.1.5 to 22 ~ After 3 years of trying, it will be possible to adorn your family with another little one.

The Yi is describing a gradual process, in which the little one is only talked about in the beginning (1) ~ it’s just a possibility ~ but over the course of time, 3 years of trying, it can then be made real (5).

Line 1 ~ “The wild goose flies in gradually to rest by the riverbank. The little one is in jeopardy and is being talked about, but without fault. The little one is in jeopardy, but in principle the little one is faultless.”

You and your partner started a gradual process, over two years ago, to add to your family. The risk to the little one in this gradual process is that you either give up too soon, or wait until it’s too late.

Line 5 ~ “The wild goose flies in gradually to rest on a hill. The woman has not been pregnant for three years, but she finally overcomes her disadvantages. Auspicious. She gets what she wishes.”

22 as the relating says that the result of this gradual process can be the adornment of your family with a new member, if your efforts are timely.

My advice to you and your partner would be to give yourselves a window, from the three-year mark of trying to some point beyond that, and stay open to the possibility ~ which means to keep trying ~ for that timeframe.

Meditate on the image of sand slipping through an hourglass, and see how your energy responds?

All Best!

 

[ernobe]

As I read it, the reading shows that the source of your impasse is your relationship with your daughter (the small child of 53.1). Either she is uncomfortable with the idea of becoming an older sister, or you are unsure of how she will handle it. It's the thought of having to accord her the part of an adult in the decision making which stresses you. Let go of it. Applying the Nanjing rules, you got a 7 in 53.3 which reads in part:

The woman carries a child but does not bring it forth.

In other words, the idea of the child is there, but what it would mean to actually bring it forth is not being considered properly. In sum, I would say that the reading does promise a successful pregnancy, but on condition that it be properly appreciated in the family.

 

[rascacielo]

Thank you all for these insights. Ernobe— yes I think I am at an impasse energetically because I so treasure my relationship with my daughter (who, yes Equinox, is sensitive, and very attached to me....I mean most kids are!, but she seems a little more so than some of her peers...). I do worry a lot about how it would affect her, or us...that we would lose our special relationship with the addition of another child. Also what Ernobe wrote about the Nanjing rules (? Which I had never heard of) of looking at line 53.3– a woman carries a child but does not bring it forth. THAT is exactly how it feels...I carry the torch for another child, and feel somewhat saddened watching multi-child families...yet I am also really afraid of changing/ losing my special relationship with my daughter...so I am pulled in two directions, in my heart.I guess a good next step might be to ask the Yi how a sibling would affect my relationship with my daughter...Thank you all for your supportive & generous insights.

 

[equinox]

rascacielo, that feeling of impasse is not only part of line three -- I wouldn't even have considered this line as relevant for your reading, ernobe uses another interpretation system (which seems well to resonate with your feelings).
Anyhow stagnation and the feeling of impasse is also part of line five, which you received, but as you can read in the various commentaries, it is a very auspicious line that is talking of eventual success.
You do not need to worry for your little daughter als long as you give her the feeling that you are happy with her in the presence, content with the status quo and reliably supporting her. If you let her feel that there is a profound lack of something within your family constellation, then she will possibly getting insecure. But since line one is saying "no blame", I guess you can manage to find peace here.
I think you don't have to overthink how a sibling would effect the relationship with your daughter. Children get used to having siblings (and also to not having siblings.)

 

[diamanda]

Should we keep trying for another baby? Or just let go and enjoy our daughter?
53.1.5 > 22

Right now it's not beneficial to actively try, have a chat with your husband and let go (53.1).
Leave it to nature, it will happen eventually (53.5).
Just make sure you look good and attractive (22), that's all you need to do

 

[diamanda]

I think you don't have to overthink how a sibling would effect the relationship with your daughter. Children get used to having siblings (and also to not having siblings.)

So well said!