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A string of UC: 51, 50, 18, 49 and then 11.1 to 46 and 8.3.5 to 15

Petragg

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Hi,
first time posting but I have been using this forum as one of the tools for interpreting my readings. I am an IChing newbie and I am currently in need of a second, third, fourth... oppinion.

Of course it is a relationship question and of course it is a tangled one...

I met R about a 1.5y ago while I was still with my husband. My marriage was dissolving but we tried to keep the family together by practicing an open relationship. The connection with R was supposed to be a temporary one and the considerable age gap (16y) was a welcome barrier preventing from things getting too serious. Yet, it almost immediately became apparent that the waters have the potential to run deeper than that and after a chance meeting at an event a year ago, where my kids and I were sharing a meal with R and his parents, he decided to break things off as it was all a bit too much. He just turned 30.

We tried keeping things friendly... After about a month after the break up he contacted me, we went for beers .. too many beers and ended up in bed. I knew it was a mistake and since whenever we meet I can literally see the wall he has put up between us, I can also see the cracks where it is obvious there is a part of him that wants to let me in. But these meetings have been few and far between and mostly we communicate via text which is kind of awful because his communication style does not mesh with mine... doesn't respond, cuts conversation without saying goodbye... no etiquette whatsoever, leaving me thinking and asking him if I bother him, should I just leave him alone and disappear... to which he says I am no bother and he sees no reason to cut ties... but he has no time to see me.

It is obvious that my feelings from him are not yet in the friend zone and that a part of me (which I'm not even trying to suppress) still holds up the hope we could have a close intimate relationship. I have since left my husband and as a family have transitioned well into the new situation. Over all my kids are happy, my ex got a new girlfriend and is happy and I am enjoying my life with the work that I love, friends and activities and I know R admires that about me, how I manage to navigate a crisis situation with kindness and determination with the welfare of all at the forefront of my mind. I know my personality attracts him but the age... the expectation of the parents for him to find a girl and give them grand children... his own ambition to finish MA and find work abroad...

My common sense is telling me to forget about him and move od so that I can be open for somebody else (more available) to enter. My soul says he is there and he will come to you when the time is right.

I have been casting far to much in the past few months trying to settle this inner conflict and with this last string of answers I get the impression that Yi might have enough of me!? Please help me gain some clarity?

Show me a picture of R regard for me?
51UC
I shock him? His feelings for him shock him??

What does he find shocking?
50UC
I don't know how to interpret this? That he is shocked that there's still something cooking between us? As he says he usually looses interest in women pretty fast...

How does this answer relate to the relationship between R and I?
18UC ??
Something has been spoiled for sure. I did not behave well at times and I am far too demanding while hi will not be hurried or pushed.

What needs correcting?
49UC
This I give up on! No idea how to interpret, so I asked:

Show me a picture of R and I as we are to each other
11.1 to 46 (I received this 2x before for essentially the same question) So we are connected bellow the surface, we are birds of a feather.

And last, what does he want from me?
8.3.5 to 15 which the optimist in me would interpret as a genuine desire to form a union or the union to be genuine. I know 8 does not necessarily mean romantc union and line 8.3 I have been getting a lot in reference to R.

So I'm confused because I feel I am getting on one hand encouraging readings and on the other the opposite?

Any help with these readings would be much appreciated
:)
 
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Matali

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Hi,
first time posting but I have been using this forum as one of the tools for interpreting my readings. I am an IChing newbie and I am currently in need of a second, third, fourth... oppinion.

Of course it is a relationship question and of course it is a tangled one...

I met R about a 1.5y ago while I was still with my husband. My marriage was dissolving but we tried to keep the family together by practicing an open relationship. The connection with R was supposed to be a temporary one and the considerable age gap (16y) was a welcome barrier preventing from things getting too serious. Yet, it almost immediately became apparent that the waters have the potential to run deeper than that and after a chance meeting at an event a year ago, where my kids and I were sharing a meal with R and his parents, he decided to break things off as it was all a bit too much. He just turned 30.

We tried keeping things friendly... After about a month after the break up he contacted me, we went for beers .. too many beers and ended up in bed. I knew it was a mistake and since whenever we meet I can literally see the wall he has put up between us, I can also see the cracks where it is obvious there is a part of him that wants to let me in. But these meetings have been few and far between and mostly we communicate via text which is kind of awful because his communication style does not mesh with mine... doesn't respond, cuts conversation without saying goodbye... no etiquette whatsoever, leaving me thinking and asking him if I bother him, should I just leave him alone and disappear... to which he says I am no bother and he sees no reason to cut ties... but he has no time to see me.

It is obvious that my feelings from him are not yet in the friend zone and that a part of me (which I'm not even trying to suppress) still holds up the hope we could have a close intimate relationship. I have since left my husband and as a family have transitioned well into the new situation. Over all my kids are happy, my ex got a new girlfriend and is happy and I am enjoying my life with the work that I love, friends and activities and I know R admires that about me, how I manage to navigate a crisis situation with kindness and determination with the welfare of all at the forefront of my mind. I know my personality attracts him but the age... the expectation of the parents for him to find a girl and give them grand children... his own ambition to finish MA and find work abroad...

My common sense is telling me to forget about him and move od so that I can be open for somebody else (more available) to enter. My soul says he is there and he will come to you when the time is right.

I have been casting far to much in the past few months trying to settle this inner conflict and with this last string of answers I get the impression that Yi might have enough of me!? Please help me gain some clarity?

Show me a picture of R regard for me?
51UC
I shock him? His feelings for him shock him??

What does he find shocking?
50UC
I don't know how to interpret this? That he is shocked that there's still something cooking between us? As he says he usually looses interest in women pretty fast...

How does this answer relate to the relationship between R and I?
18UC ??
Something has been spoiled for sure. I did not behave well at times and I am far too demanding while hi will not be hurried or pushed.

What needs correcting?
49UC
This I give up on! No idea how to interpret, so I asked:

Show me a picture of R and I as we are to each other
11.1 to 46 (I received this 2x before for essentially the same question) So we are connected bellow the surface, we are birds of a feather.

And last, what does he want from me?
8.3.5 to 15 which the optimist in me would interpret as a genuine desire to form a union or the union to be genuine. I know 8 does not necessarily mean romantc union and line 8.3 I have been getting a lot in reference to R.

So I'm confused because I feel I am getting on one hand encouraging readings and on the other the opposite?

Any help with these readings would be much appreciated
:)

Hello Petragg,
Sorry for my english (I am french:)... Well, it is a big revolution in your life... 49-50 Unchanging are both Revolution and Change. For this man too. 8.3 : it is not a good line for relation, he is not the right man for you. You will find another man for you, don't worry. See your friends, best regards, Matali.
 

Trojina

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Often we don't even need a Yi cast to see what's happening



We tried keeping things friendly... After about a month after the break up he contacted me, we went for beers .. too many beers and ended up in bed. I knew it was a mistake and since whenever we meet I can literally see the wall he has put up between us, I can also see the cracks where it is obvious there is a part of him that wants to let me in. But these meetings have been few and far between and mostly we communicate via text which is kind of awful because his communication style does not mesh with mine... doesn't respond, cuts conversation without saying goodbye... no etiquette whatsoever, leaving me thinking and asking him if I bother him, should I just leave him alone and disappear... to which he says I am no bother and he sees no reason to cut ties... but he has no time to see me.

He just wants you as an optional bed partner now and then. If you want more don't bother with him. To an outside viewer this is obvious. You may get glimpses of more intimacy but basically that's there to keep you interested so you stay as an option. Often if a man has a woman as an option for sex he enjoys he will keep her as an 'open option' rather than dump her.

That's my view utter waste of time, don't expect more. It's pretty clear I don't think you need the I Ching but....


What does Yi say

Show me a picture of R regard for me?
51UC
I shock him? His feelings for him shock him??


You're asking how he regards you ? I don't know really, I mean he barely keeps in touch and has sex with you occasionally so that shows how he regards you doesn't it. Often 51uc can show an alarm over something that doesn't really go anywhere other than one's inner life. It's felt inside more than out. It could be you are something that shakes him up a bit ? Or the answer may refer to you not him.


What does he find shocking?
50UC
I don't know how to interpret this? That he is shocked that there's still something cooking between us? As he says he usually looses interest in women pretty fast...

The problem is you've asked a question on the basis of a possible misunderstanding of the first. You don't know that you shock him. I wouldn't think you shock him, possibly more like he's a bit 'rabbit in the headlights', he doesn't know where to take this. I won't interpret this as it's based on an answer not understood yet.

Actually the rest of the questions are based on other questions. It's a mistake to ask a question about an answer you didn't understand. So with 18uc you went straight to 'what needs correcting' I don't think you are processing the answers you've got


And last, what does he want from me?
8.3.5 to 15 which the optimist in me would interpret as a genuine desire to form a union or the union to be genuine. I know 8 does not necessarily mean romantc union and line 8.3 I have been getting a lot in reference to R.


I think line 5 shows he's ready to take what you offer, he'll go along with what suits him. I think if you made any demand on him you'd likely soon see he's mentally a teenager. Line 3 of course would show you attributing human qualities to what is not human. Well he is human but he's not in the same game as you, he's on a completely different route. In short when he wants sex he'll call, or when he feels like it but if you want to be more than this get rid of him.



Admittedly there's far more of me here than Yi so take what you will. I do think half the questions you've asked you've asked on faulty basis of not being clear about the previous answer.



Also you can't conduct a relationship via Yi. His behaviour speaks far more eloquently than your answers here. Here is a link to Yi and relationship questions, click here
 
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Trojina

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I wonder if a string of unchanging hexagrams is like a pointed silence. I mean would it be a shock to you to change your perception of him, view his behaviour differently. He seems to be using you as a convenience, he's not communicating well. I've seen all this before


But these meetings have been few and far between and mostly we communicate via text which is kind of awful because his communication style does not mesh with mine... doesn't respond, cuts conversation without saying goodbye... no etiquette whatsoever, leaving me thinking and asking him if I bother him, should I just leave him alone and disappear... to which he says I am no bother and he sees no reason to cut ties... but he has no time to see me.

He doesn't even say goodbye. This isn't about his communication style it's about him not giving a shit. That's what people do when they're not really caring about the other's feelings. You ask if you should leave and he says no ? Well of course he doesn't necessarily want to lose you as an option - apart from that occasional stuff he gives you absolutely fcuk all. Maybe that's the 51, you realising that and the rest of the answers don't speak much apart from the 8.3.5>15.
 

Petragg

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Thank you everyone for your input. Going through a revolution indeed - trying to live my truth that is somewhat a departure from what society deems acceptable for a 47y old.

I am well aware that logically considering somebody with all the major life decisions still before him as a potential partner is pretty daft. So I am questioning my self why can’t I shake myself out of this? Why can’t i just accept the impossibility and move on?

Trojina, he is not my lover. We did sleep together that one time after the breakup a year ago and that was it. So certain things you wrote did resonate but him using me for sex not at all. I actually have someone else for that and it is in mutual agreement. ;) But I appreciate your critique regards the questions, I see that it is confused therefor confusing.
 

Petragg

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Hello Petragg,
Sorry for my english (I am french:)... Well, it is a big revolution in your life... 49-50 Unchanging are both Revolution and Change. For this man too. 8.3 : it is not a good line for relation, he is not the right man for you. You will find another man for you, don't worry. See your friends, best regards, Matali.

thank you Matali. No worries I do have good friends - all men 😅
 
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Petragg

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I wonder if a string of unchanging hexagrams is like a pointed silence. I mean would it be a shock to you to change your perception of him, view his behaviour differently. He seems to be using you as a convenience, he's not communicating well. I've seen all this before




He doesn't even say goodbye. This isn't about his communication style it's about him not giving a shit. That's what people do when they're not really caring about the other's feelings. You ask if you should leave and he says no ? Well of course he doesn't necessarily want to lose you as an option - apart from that occasional stuff he gives you absolutely fcuk all. Maybe that's the 51, you realising that and the rest of the answers don't speak much apart from the 8.3.5>15.
I realised I posted a reply to you as a general comment! But yeah Trojina no sex going on here... not for over a year. He sends me news articles that he thinks I would find of interest, music that reminds him of me, stupid gifs to cheer me up .. general biking related advice and he shares his hopes and fears that he can not discuss with family or friends of his age.
And he does not know what to do with me either.
 

Petragg

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Acting on Trojina advice on how to ask relationship questions I posed the following.

What is the benefit in keeping R in my life?

37.3.4 to 25
This made me laugh. I am ‘the force’ in my family... I get stuff done but I do throw my weight around too much. I interact best with people that stand up to me, force me to reframe my demands into an invitation. (My kids are getting pretty good at this). Through my experience with R I have certainly learned to be more considerate after nearly 20y of silent acquiescence from my ex husband.
I think Yi is telling me to respect the boundaries and celebrate the differences and all the ways in which we diverge yet inspire each other. And to keep an innocent outlook on where the path might be leading.
Is this a plausible interpretation or is there too much rose tint yo
My glasses?
 

GreenBird

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Funny, the first thing I was thinking when seeing hex 37 was: agewise, he could be your son :) (I'm not coming from a moral high ground here, just stating a fact).
And yes, 37, by keeping expectations low (3), you can get some support (4), the benefit you asked about: is he helping you with something?, but 25 you have to untangle yourself. Or alternatively, untangle (from him) and concentrate on your own family, your kids.
 
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Petragg

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Funny, the first thing I was thinking when seeing hex 37 was: agewise, he could be your son :) (I'm not coming from a moral high ground here, just stating a fact).
And yes, 37, by keeping expectations low (3), you can get some support (4), the benefit you asked about: is he helping you with something?, but 25 you have to untangle yourself. Or alternatively, untangle (from him) and concentrate on your own family, your kids.
Hi GreenBird technically you are right, mathematically he could. Personally just don’t see age, The odd thing is that just in the last 5 years I have ‘picked up’ individuals towards whom I had an instant and deep affinity and i have literally accepted them in my family. These are all 17-20y younger than me both gender and i have not slept with any of them to be clear. The difference with R is that i also had a brief sexual relationship and he was the only one that knew what was going on with me throughout the marriage breakup which is a burden upon an otherwise lovely connection. Yes, when i need him he is helpful and he is great with my kids, specially my son who is autistic and there aren’t many people that can follow his conversation style 😅 so I guess the answer is maintain things as they are and quit pushing 🤷‍♀️
 

Petragg

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Matali

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Acting on Trojina advice on how to ask relationship questions I posed the following.

What is the benefit in keeping R in my life?

37.3.4 to 25
This made me laugh. I am ‘the force’ in my family... I get stuff done but I do throw my weight around too much. I interact best with people that stand up to me, force me to reframe my demands into an invitation. (My kids are getting pretty good at this). Through my experience with R I have certainly learned to be more considerate after nearly 20y of silent acquiescence from my ex husband.
I think Yi is telling me to respect the boundaries and celebrate the differences and all the ways in which we diverge yet inspire each other. And to keep an innocent outlook on where the path might be leading.
Is this a plausible interpretation or is there too much rose tint yo
My glasses?
Acting on Trojina advice on how to ask relationship questions I posed the following.

What is the benefit in keeping R in my life?

37.3.4 to 25
This made me laugh. I am ‘the force’ in my family... I get stuff done but I do throw my weight around too much. I interact best with people that stand up to me, force me to reframe my demands into an invitation. (My kids are getting pretty good at this). Through my experience with R I have certainly learned to be more considerate after nearly 20y of silent acquiescence from my ex husband.
I think Yi is telling me to respect the boundaries and celebrate the differences and all the ways in which we diverge yet inspire each other. And to keep an innocent outlook on where the path might be leading.
Is this a plausible interpretation or is there too much rose tint yo
My glasses?
Hello
Age is not important here... With 25 you should stop with him. . Your family is more important :)
 

Trojina

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Hmmm. As much as possible, I want to stick to the rules about commenting on people's actual readings, rather than offering advice based on my own opinions and perceptions. So I won't say much, except to say that I found a good sticky post on asking about relationship issues, here:

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...-post-advice-for-relationship-readings.12642/

I already linked to that in my post, there's a link in post 3.

Also it's not exactly a rule to pretend to be only a 'neutral' reading machine, which is a false position anyway. It's more like if it is your own opinion state it as such alongside what you say about the reading.
 
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Trojina

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Acting on Trojina advice on how to ask relationship questions I posed the following.

What is the benefit in keeping R in my life?


I'd never advise that question as it assumes that there is a benefit. That was Hilary's suggestion. I linked to that thread just to offer some general ideas, I don't agree with all the question suggestions there.
 

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