About a difficult person in my life 58.1.2.3.4 to 39

[mandarin_23]

Still thinking about a person I'm actually not in touch with any more - my former boss who made me redundant recently in a rather humiliating manner after I supposedly got slandered in the company. He himself was very suppressive anyway. A difficult person - very polite, nice, intelligent, also sort of untouchable, unpredictable, hard, and very arrogant.
I got stuck! I keep thinking about this very boring work and especially about him, as If there was something I should get cleared and out of the way somehow. The way things happened was unfair in my opinion, but still it seems to be not very promising to try and take legal action, especially as this work took place in Switzerland. Friends tell me to "take revenge" - I'm not so much into such ideas, but I feel that there is some equilibrium missing. I would like to get over everything, but still get absorbed. This feels sort of damaging.

So I asked about this lasting connection and got 58.1.2.3.4 to 39.

In a previous reading, a similar question I got 63.3.4. to 17.

I also asked if I should write to him - about some formal question, about what happened. I got 14.6 to 34 and again, when I asked, if I should write but not now, but later on: 40.6. to 64 (or 63?). This is not that easy. I'd think it might be more appropriate to keep quiet and forget.

How to get free of this? What keeps me looking back?
Thanks for any suggestions.

 

[legume]

hello, you mention that you're stuck and you asked about this "lasting connection" and received 58.1.2.3.4 > 39 as a result. well, hexagram 58 might give an image of something long lasting (lake & lake or two connected pools pretty much form an image of infinity) while 39 is likely just saying what you know already - that you're stuck. what was the actual question? as it seems I Ching simply illustrated the idea you might've had in mind... additionally:

58 - THE IMAGE
Lakes resting one on the other:
The image of THE JOYOUS.
Thus the superior man joins with his friends
For discussion and practice.

it looks like having discussed the issue with friends gave you some joy and relief, even if the idea of revenge is personally too much for you. are your friends related in some way to that particular situation?

39 - THE IMAGE
Water on the mountain:
The image of OBSTRUCTION.
Thus the superior man turns his attention to himself
And molds his character.

and here, i believe, the advice is relatively straight forward - look within, rather than without.
in relation to reaching out or taking this issue any further you mentioned:

This is not that easy. I'd think it might be more appropriate to keep quiet and forget.

and i agree with this interpretation, it seems to me that establishing contact doesn't serve any purpose at this point and it is best in this case to withdraw from the situation, detach, give yourself space and time before ever trying to face this person or ask for any justifications... and maybe one day you won't feel the need to anymore? some people aren't capable of thinking and feeling in ways we are, so expecting them to understand how they might have wronged us, is futile and might only make matters worse - as in only cause more harm, in the sense of obsessive wondering of our minds, but not theirs... it's probably impossible to fully forget, but it is possible to forgive. that always requires some great strength and more often a lot of time...

How to get free of this? What keeps me looking back? Thanks for any suggestions.

have you asked I Ching these exact last 2 questions? i think you finally got to ask the right things, as well as follow I Ching's advice - about looking within. hopefully you'll find the answer and get your inner freedom back, either on your own, or with the help of the book, or the forum. wish you all the best!

 

[mandarin_23]

Thank you very much, legume! Things are getting much clearer the way you read it. One thing is true, there are friends around me, and it has been a wonderful experience to know that they are just there. My friends are not that related to this situation, except that I went to another country for this job, but kept coming back to my home city every two weaks, so that I wasn't that far away.
I originally thought this former boss was meant to be sort of a friend as well, he acted and spoke like that when he got me for that job (as I'd had serious doubts). When making the contract, he was talking about a "lasting work relationship" he wanted, which really impressed me then, as my job issues haven't ever been that steady. So there was a little bit of manipulation in the air at beginning, and it was all sweet talking and writing about "joy" and "looking forward to start work with me" etc. beforehand. But this boss also wrote to me, when making his offer, that I "didn't have to sign with blood" anyway and should just try and come and see and blabla. Shouldn't I have been more cautios, indeed? The more as I was not really identifying with what one calls "corporate identity" of these people.
The more I was disappointed when these friendly promises (and others - as work itself was supposed to be most interesting, but when I came there, there was never ever really anything to do for me) didn't come true at all!
So I think I really have to step back from these friendly illusions at first, and then, look inside. It might probably all be about forgiving, which will be the best, and requires some inner strength indeed.
Not sure if I asked about "how to get free" and "what keeps me looking back" exactly, but it seems as if my questions were answered. 14.6 and especially 40.6, the hexagrams I got when asking about contacting this ex-boss again, are about confidence and freedom.
Many thanks legume! When I get it now, it somehow, as bad as it is, makes me smile. I was so naive indeed. So this seems to be all included in 58 - joy, being connected, friendlyness, illusion. This helped me. I'll get over this!