About Relationship 20 to 2, 1 to 17.

[Mpourtsin]

Hi everyone,

I asked I Ching some questions on a recent "kinda" relationship I had. Here is a short background. We met online almost 3 months ago and suddenly connected. It felt very physical but we had long conversations as well. A month or later I told him that I enjoy this very much and I may grow feelings for him and I wanted to learn if we are on the same page. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship right now but since I may grow feelings, maybe we should draw a line. Basically I wanted to understand if everything was about sex.

He didn't say anything after a three days silence he called me back and we started to see each other like more frequently - since I have a job, which causes me to go on business trips for two or three days at least, When I was not in the city, we were texting like every other day and when I come back we were spending time together. Two weeks ago, we had an intense week. We went out everyday and it was just conversation, have a few drinks. Than during the weekend he said, he resented me because I didn't invite him to my house, even though I am alone - normally I have a flatmate, who is not going to be around for at least three months. Then the next day I invited him over but he said he doesn't want to because of the bad weather. Last week when I was on a trip again we texted, the night I came back, he called.

Next day, he said he wanted to come to me but he had a dinner party with some friends. But at the end of the night I saw him posting a picture of him with a women cheek to cheek. I didn't ask anything about it or I didn't react. On Saturday night he came to my place. We had a lovely night, we had dinner, drank wine and watched movies. We stayed together for the first time.

Next morning when he woke up, he asked me if we are going to have a breakfast. I prepared something and then we spent some more time. To be honest I didn't like his attitude - no help for the breakfast preparation and some critics regarding why I didn't prepare it before since I was up all morning. I took them as jokes. He was about to leave and he said something which refers to spend more alone time together.

And I reminded him the conversation a month ago. I said I really like him, but if he continue to see other people, this is going to be hurtful for me. He said so you are dumping me. I said no. I am just saying that if this is the case, what we have is purely physical connection and he has no feelings for me, I kindly ask you to contact me next time knowing that I have feelings for you and this may hurt me on the long run.

Since then he didn't contact me. Radio silence. He totally stopped interaction, not even a like for the posts or he doesn't even see my stories on instagram anymore. But then a few nights later he posted a song online, indicating that he is hurt but After that I sent him a message saying that I didn't dump him but since he cannot tell me whether he has feelings or not, this is difficult for me. No reply. In the meantime I bought him a small present - nothing expensive but meaningful for him. I received a message from the postal company that he received it but again no contact, not even a "thank you". And last night he posted a video from my favourite spot in his place, which he normally does before he invites me but again no further communication.

It's been a long post, sorry So here come the questions;

First of all I asked please show me an image of our status with him and I got 20. 5.6. to 2. Oracle says:

Seeing. Washing hands, and not making the offering.
There is truth and confidence like a presence.

Changing lines say:

Line 5​

'Seeing my own life.
The noble one is without mistake.'

Line 6​

'Seeing their lives.
The noble one is without mistake.'

Relating hexagram is 2, Earth and Oracle says:
Earth.
From the source, creating success.
The constancy of a mare bears fruit.
A noble one has a direction to go.
At first, confusion. Later, gains a master.
Fruitful in the southwest, gaining partners.
In the northeast, losing partners.
Peaceful constancy brings good fortune.

My understanding of these hexagrams is currently no one is going to take a step for further communication. Everyone believes that they are right or maybe everybody wants to see what will happen from a distance but if we do not further argue this may end up with good fortune.

My second question was "What does he expect from me?" and I got 27.6 changing to 24. Oracle says:

Nourishment: constancy brings good fortune.
See the jaws,
Your own quest for something real to fill your mouth.

Changing line 6 says:

'Origin of nourishment. Danger, good fortune.
Fruitful to cross the great river.'

Relating Hexagram 24 says:

Returning, creating success.
Going out, coming in, without anxiety.
Partners come, not a mistake.
Turning around and returning on your path.
The seventh day comes, you return.
Fruitful to have a direction to go.

My understanding of these hexagrams is quite vague. In terms of nourishment, I guess, it means he didn't feel like he was enough for me maybe? Because we have significant socio-cultural differences. Changing line indicates a danger but what is good fortune there? Considering the relating hexagram I thought maybe if I nourish him, maybe make some more effort, we may return where we are?

My final question -or maybe statement - was "please give me an insight what future holds for us in terms of a relationship". I got 1. 2.3.6 changing to 17. For Hex 1. Oracle says:

Creative Force.
From the source, creating success.
Constancy bears fruit.

For Changing Lines:

Line 2​

'See the dragon in the fields.
Fruitful to see great people.'

Line 3​

'Noble one creates and creates to the end of the day,
At nightfall on the alert, as if in danger.
No mistake.'

Line 6​

'Overweening dragon has regrets.'

Relating Hexagram 17, Oracle says
Following.
From the source, creating success, constancy bears fruit.
No mistake.

My understanding of these hexagrams is currently he is like a dragon - maybe still angry but if i take steps to create something new cautiously, it may help and then we may end up with a succesful flow in the relation.

Thanks for everyone who read this long thread and thanks in advance for your interpretations.

 

[Mpourtsin]

Thank you but I deserved your critic To be honest I bought a book, a small yellow one, I am trying to cast my self and everything but I guess I do not understand the depth of I-Ching. And after all, as you pointed out "he didn't call me" business is not the end of the world So please decide on my behalf. I casted for one more question "am i going to express myself correctly to Trojina" it come up 53 to 39, which means I will learn how to express myself better in the future maybe

 

[Trojina]

53.6

'Wild geese gradually advance to the high plateau.
Their feathers can be used to perform the sacred dances.'

I think that's me going to bed now I have a feather pillow

First of all I asked please show me an image of our status with him and I got 20. 5.6. to 2.

Well it's like you are contemplating/he is contemplating you...looking, considering. The fact it changes to 2 makes me think this could easily dissolve to not being there at all.

It's especially hurtful that things started to go wrong after your first night together. He must have liked you to have all those dates.

My understanding of these hexagrams is currently no one is going to take a step for further communication. Everyone believes that they are right or maybe everybody wants to see what will happen from a distance but if we do not further argue this may end up with good fortune.

I think that's a pretty good interpretation yes. I think hexagram 2 could go either way here. Either it's a place to grow from or it's just an empty space. 2 as relating can often show things that go back to earth so to speak as if they never were. This answer is also asking you to consider everything that has happened, look at it again not only in the light of your own life(line 5) but also in comparison to other people's situations(line 6). Line 6 often shows that sometimes it's really useful to consider what other people do or would do in your situation. Or if a friend had this problem what would you say to her?

You are in a space where nothing is happening as yet..

My second question was "What does he expect from me?" and I got 27.6 changing to 24.

This is the line of the pioneer, someone who is making it up as they go along since they have no guide to follow. I imagine he's quite open but maybe he's never been in this situation before. You sound quite direct which is good, he can hardly say he is confused.

I think it's good you set your boundaries with him but it may not be an approach he is used to

My final question -or maybe statement - was "please give me an insight what future holds for us in terms of a relationship". I got 1. 2.3.6 changing to 17. For Hex 1.

I think that looks quite a good cast, there's a lot of energy flowing through. 1's 17 The Creative's Following. 17 has much to do with following the flow of events. I wonder if in being so clear about what you did and didn't want he felt that too much.

My understanding of these hexagrams is currently he is like a dragon - maybe still angry but if i take steps to create something new cautiously, it may help and then we may end up with a succesful flow in the relation.

It does look like there is a successful flow, some anxiety in line 3, a communication in line, an opportunity but beware of the overstepping in line 6. I'm all for clear communication about what you want but it seems as if this has freaked him out and I don't really know why. It could be he wanted things to develop more at his pace.

I'm not sure what you can do now but I would think you have reached out enough, let him know you weren't dumping him. My guess is he feels clamped down on and so has retreated but you did already say before that night you were together that you wanted commitment, you made it clear so he shouldn't have stayed if he wasn't going to honour that really.

 

[Mpourtsin]

Good morning from my timezone Trojina. It has been a great suprise to see your interpretations, you made my day, thank you!

This answer is also asking you to consider everything that has happened, look at it again not only in the light of your own life(line 5) but also in comparison to other people's situations(line 6).

When I take this advice, I keep feeling shame because basically he thinks that I dumped him in my house, in his first night. I know he likes things in his pace but I wanted him to understand my situation as well.

him but it may not be an approach he is used to

He mentioned that he did not have long term relationships. The longest was like a year or something and he is 41 - Maybe this is a red flag, you know, being over 40 and could not maintain a relationship more than a year.

I'm not sure what you can do now but I would think you have reached out enough, let him know you weren't dumping him. My guess is he feels clamped down on and so has retreated but you did already say before that night you were together that you wanted commitment, you made it clear so he shouldn't have stayed if he wasn't going to honour that really.

This is exactly what puts me on hold when I want to move towards him. I gave him the opportunity and he never used it. This makes me think, maybe I was right, he had no feelings for me after all

Anyway, I guess I will wait and see - or maybe get in touch with him, have no idea right now. I will go for my meetings today and let me try a daily cast for today at work.

Thank you again!

 

[Mpourtsin]

Morning everyone,

A quick update to progress here. After some brief messaging, we met twice and discussed our situation. It seems we will wait and see where the flow will take us. If anything changes, I will update.

And @Trojina

Thanks for the help!

 

[Mpourtsin]

Update to this story:

As you said @Trojina things went back to earth as they were never. And the

as if this has freaked him out and I don't really know why

reason behind this must be the fact that he had other ladies he wanted to continue to see.

End of an another ladies' man story. Hope I will have better luck next time.

 

[Trojina]

Yes, sorry he treated you so badly. And he did treat you badly, he was wrong to behave this way when he knew quite well you wanted more. He was selfish and just did what he wanted to do and one day he will be sorry about that I'm sure. You made it clear from the start you didn't just want a casual relationship so he should have been enough of a gentleman to withdraw and take his lust elsewhere.

I hope you meet someone better who will treat you well

 

[Mpourtsin]

Yes, sorry he treated you so badly. And he did treat you badly, he was wrong to behave this way when he knew quite well you wanted more. He was selfish and just did what he wanted to do and one day he will be sorry about that I'm sure. You made it clear from the start you didn't just want a casual relationship so he should have been enough of a gentleman to withdraw and take his lust elsewhere.

I hope you meet someone better who will treat you well

Thank you for the nice wishes. I am not broken. It's just frustrating. I really do not understand why people choose to act like this. I told him openly since the beginning that if he wants to see other people, I do not want to stay. He came back everytime showing deeper connection. But now I am receiving messages from a long term girlfriend of him and I can only feel sorry for her as well. Anyway I continue my I-Ching experience with daily advices and career / life goals for a while I guess