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ACT NOW (but) WAIT ... ! ... ?

oponopono

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Hi everyone,

almost one month after this reading, I am really learning about the nature of 5 WAITING/NOURISHMENT and specially, as we had already interpreted, how painfully slow waiting in the sand/mud can get.

Just out of curiosity, 2 weeks ago things were again difficult and again I asked "How should I be acting in order to bring us closer?" and again I got exactly 5 (2,3) > 3

But this month was not only difficult and slow. We did get closer, our intentions towards each other are getting clearer, and we spent time together, performed together, got to know each other. So all in all, a good process.
He does boycott every chance to be alone in a room, because once I told him "we should be talking about what is going on between us". He agreed and looked excited about it, but now he flees every single opportunity.

I feel he likes me a lot, but either he is overly shy, in love with someone else who keeps me on a short leash, or has a problem of a nature one cannot expect... :brickwall:

This Sunday we said we would have dinner at my place. He wants to cook and looks all excited about it. As things turn quite fast with this guy, I looked for reassurance with the Y on how to stand until Sunday, as I am very busy and probably would not get in touch nor meet him anywhere.

What steps should be taken towards him in the next days to get us closer?

60 (2) > 3

I read a clear - do something! We dont have a date or anything scheduled till Sunday, but I feel the Y is urging me to... go out and look for him? I know where he will be Friday night, I could pass by uninvited... but feels so much like pushing it... Or could it be refering to Sunday, where I should finally step forward our endless gate and talk about feelings?

Ok, confused about the nature of these action I asked for clarification,
"You say its time to act, but what can I do?"


5 (2,3,4) > 17

So, back to 5.2 and 3, now with the addition of 4....! great, stuck in a pit... :rolleyes:

Dont these sound contradictory? On the one hand DO SOMETHING, get out of the gate, dont stay inside, and on the other hand WAIT, you are stuck, there is nothing you can do...

It is true that 5 and its difficulties have been a perfect mirror of how things have been happening between us. There is something unclear about his reservations, some sort of secret that holds him away from me. But he does like me, I feel it. There must be a way to reach this guy...

Be proactive (60.2) or wait patiently for the overwhelming obstacles to dissolve (5.4)?

Thank u!!
 

elias

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He does boycott every chance to be alone in a room, because once I told him "we should be talking about what is going on between us". He agreed and looked excited about it, but now he flees every single opportunity.
"

Guys HATE this! The Tao of Yang is that they will elude you whenever you try to pin them down about "what is going on between us." Don't go there. I'm not even going to bother with the rest.
 

tifa

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I have to agree with Elias. 9 out of ten men run when they hear, "let's talk about our relationship"
and if you are lucky, one of them would actually sit down, think and talk about it. But, don't expect them to spell out every word that is going through their brain.

I would say, be smart, do not reveal your cards, yet. If he is passionate about whatever it is going on between you and him, he would keep the fire burning. Otherwise, leave and find a better fire place.
 

oponopono

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Thank u Elias & Tifa,

I see your point, that is true. But you know, I found myself asking the Y every other day stuff like "does he have feelings for me"? "what are his intentions"? the very questions people in this Forum strongly advise against. And I see the point, it was getting me nowhere fast, because I didnt have enough emotional space to interpret anything...! It was that feeling of the Iching suddenly speaking Chinese to me, even the English translation! :brickwall:

So I thought, why ask a book when the person is standing next to me every day...?
And he was welcoming of the idea... in his way... :rolleyes:

anyway, about 60 (2) > 3 (VS) 5 (2,3,4) > 17
I have more data. Makes the reading all the more interesting, imo.

I made those questions presuming HE would not say anything else, therefore what can I do?
But a couple of hours after making those readings I had a very sweet mail from him with silly pretext to have lunch today. I accepted and we said we would do it in my house, close to where he has a concert tonight, and rehearsal in the afternoon.

What happened today was that he got late, said nothing, me waiting. Getting mad! Then he called super-apologising, long intertwined story, do I mind to come over to his flat and have lunch there.
Maybe without 60 (2) > 3 I could have been too offended and just said No out of pride. (sounds like something I could do...) But with the line in mind I gladly left my gate and courtyard and went over to the far-out side of the city.
I had to smile. :)

The lunch went great, we talked for hours but ... he had a friend over! we were never alone.

So, still a lot of hidden layers to unravel in this one. Lets see how Sunday dinner at my place goes. He cannot appear with someone else over here, I presume...! :rofl:

Thank you for your advice. Beyond not mentioning "we have to talk again", do you have any comment on the nature of 5 (2,3,4) > 17....?


Danke!
Yoana
 

tifa

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Well, I am no Yi-guru. But judging from 60.3 and changing lines at hex 5, this man is leading you in circles.
 

oponopono

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Ufff. Thats strong. :confused: I cannot deny you have an argument there, I read the same lines and also see how everything has been slow and difficult. But I also see he always rings me back, he always asks me out again, he is always looking for me in the space when Im there. He has some sort of center on me. He has been putting more apparent effort in this than I have. Which might just be companionship and friendship but ... k´mon... I have showed him I like him... He would have signaled me by now if we was not interested.
Could it be he is just gambling me around ? I had to go back to the HIM questions...

What are his intentions towards me?

54 (5) > 58


This one was clearer than other times. 54 is renowned for its second-woman meanings... so there is someone else around, maybe a past relationship which has not healed...I dont know who can it be. We spend all his free time together and I dont see signs of anyone else.... actually from all the lines in 54, the 5th is actually the most promising one.
or not?

......am I speeding towards a dead end...? :brickwall:

I thank you for your opinions...
Yoana
 

tifa

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What you want and what he is able to offer

Like Hilary's writings suggest, Hex 54 is indeed the hexagram that appears when I am extremely fustrated, down, anxious and bragging for an answer (or hope). In your case, I think it illustrates that it is time for you to recognize that he is not one stable man - Line 58.5, doesn't sound like someone you can squeeze your needs from -> Hex 54.

well, just go with an open mind on Sunday. Observe him, do not rush into conclusion and judge for yourself whether he is one that is worth investing time and energy on.
 

patro

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Hi Yoanna...

"we should be talking about what is going on between us"

to a men this words sound like separation... mostly they are used by women before a separation! hehehehehe!
the best way is to talk directly... by premising in a way... that the discussion will not end in a separation!
try this way... probably he is scared about!

ACT NOW (but) WAIT=act with prudence
 

oponopono

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A long post, which hopefully contains practical conclusions (with outcomes) on the nature of

5 - waiting / nourishment
as well as
54 (5) > 58

Im slowly freeing myself from a state of shock. The arranged dinner did come through, on our own, alone with red wine in my house, he came all perfumed and excited, and he was the one introducing the "What did you want to talk to me about?"
I told him how this last month of spending so much time together has been for me, and the feelings growing, and he turned blank. Very kindly, he explained that the thought never even crossed his mind, that I was for him a sort of sister (aaaaaaaauch) that he loved to spend time with me but never did he think about anything else. Like, he stressed the never. He also added there is someone else, a strange relationship with a woman for quite some time, and that they only manage to see each other once a week or even less. He couldn't say why he had never mention her.

He stayed till late, and given the situation I must say he acted like a really nice guy, but never in him was there even any glimpse of ambiguity. This film was entirely played in my head. He was never ever even there.
:eek:

What afflicts me is way beyond the feeling of rejection. That hurts, but it's a minor pain and it will be solved in a couple of days. I know I have won a good friend. (…he suggested to spend Xmas the 2 of us anyway…! but I don't know if im enlightened enough for that…)
what really troubles me is HOW I managed to stick myself so deep in the "5`s mud", all by myself... it brings back old wounds...

How to approach the next thing if I know I cannot trust my own perception of things? What do you trust when you cant trust your own perception?

"Guys HATE this! The Tao of Yang is that they will elude you whenever you try to pin them down about "what is going on between us." Don't go there. I'm not even going to bother with the rest.

Even though I agree with all you guys that came forward telling me this is a mistake, always there is an exception to the rule, and this one was it.
We both agreed that we should have spoken way earlier, because that would have allowed me not to escalate so much inside my dead-end feelings. He just didn't grant me this talk because for him it was never about emotions. He thought it was work related or something, and he didn't give it so much credit.
Some times the yin approach ("Lets Talk") has its wisdom, guys…

Well, I am no Yi-guru. But judging from 60.3 and changing lines at hex 5, this man is leading you in circles.

Yes, you were right. But not intentionally… In fact... I was leading myself in circles...
:duh:


What are his intentions towards me?

54 (5) > 58
Yoana

Now we know this must mean something like a modest friendship in which one can rely on. I formulated the question in the exact same way I had asked the Y… He sayed this and then he added "I wish we would see this through, I wish you stick around, Im sorry." and then he went again for explaining how much he never ever ever saw me like that. (he repeated that argument times enough…)

I am secondary in his life (54), but still he appreciates the simplicity of our connection. Good fortune comes from having friends around. (54.5) He enjoys our creative and intense exchange of words and ideas (58) He enjoys my intellectual artistic side…
don't they all… (cant they see there is a woman behind the clown?)


Hex 54 is indeed the hexagram that appears when I am extremely fustrated, down, anxious and bragging for an answer (or hope). In your case, I think it illustrates that it is time for you to recognize that he is not one stable man - Line 58.5, doesn't sound like someone you can squeeze your needs from -> Hex 54.

He came through as the opposite. A very stable guy who has it all figured out. This whole thing never diverged from his master plan even slightly. Therefore, the unstable erratic element in the line - must have been me.


ACT NOW (but) WAIT=act with prudence

Maybe this is a silly thing to say, but I wish the Y could have been clearer about the hopeless nature of this contact. Why so much advise to go slow, so many 57s and 32s, when this was a dead end? ...



Ok, but now I know.
Its up to me to make it into a tragedy or a powerful learning lesson. As I said above, it is not the rejection per se that is more difficult, is the broken trust in my own perception of things. I obsessively went through the Y´s journal, question after question, and of course now it seems obvious there were enough signs of difficulty and obstacles. Never did the Y gave me a very promising outlook on the outcome of this encounter. But of course, if one asks long enough eventually one has a dubious enough answer to project his wishes upon. I had the impulse to share a couple of those answers that I STILL find so painfully promising here, but I reckon this post is already too long....
if anyone´s curious let me know...

...and if anyone made it this far, the huge interrogation mark burning at the center of my chest is really : How could it have happened that I was so convinced my feelings were requited, when all this time he never even considered me as a romantic possibility?

25 (1,5) > 35

This felt like a warm fatherly hand stroking a little girl's head n saying, "Now then, don't beat yourself up, you are only young and naïve - but you will learn"…

Was it just that? Can the Y be saying it is not wrong to follow your heart even if you end up making a fool of yourself and getting to bed alone and rejected? There seems to be no overall crisis in these two lines, just too much ingenuity. Further more, there is no more action for me to take, this will solve itself by itself.

Am I enlarging my pain - or is the Y minimizing it …? ;-)


sorry for the long mail, I hope it serves some future learning purposes…
Y*
 

patro

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Originally Posted by patro
ACT NOW (but) WAIT=act with prudence
Maybe this is a silly thing to say, but I wish the Y could have been clearer about the hopeless nature of this contact. Why so much advise to go slow, so many 57s and 32s, when this was a dead end? ...
what is silly to say? and why?
it would be nice to know the first reading you got.. about this guy... I'm sure there is the answer of your mistake about the situation.
 

tifa

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Hello Yoana,
I hope you are doing all right. Thank you for keeping us posted.

As I have said I am no Yi-guru, what I interpret is in accordance to my prespective of your situation and changing lines.

I think Yi has warned you to get out of the situation (hex 5 changing lines) and in Hex 54.5 further suggests that you are clinging on and trusting on wrong intuitions of a person or a situation. That is why I mentioned in my previous post, " what you want and what he is able to offer".

He might come to you as a stable guy, but not stable enough or rather should I use the word "sensible" enough to actually recognize the fact that all the evenings, afternoons and texts are leading to something?

Well, your latest hexagram (25.1.5>35), suggest that time is required here. It is a one learning experience. It is no fault of yours, we get involved and sometimes we perceive the wrong signals. The art of courtship can be quite tricky. You will become better a woman, no worries.
 

gato

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What are his intentions towards me?
maybe he is asking himself same question: what are her intentions towards me. unfortunately you cannot discuss this things on the open. if you two find a way to communicate then you have a relation ( i bet he didn;t came to your place just to eat ) if not .... bad luck.

"reading the readings" i think is just a difficult beginning but what does your intuition tells you?

keep in mind that yi has a weird sense of time ( or maybe we humans have a weird sense of time) ... some time ago i;ve asked about a person and was keep getting 5 and 3 in different forms ( wait and difficult beginning) but nothing was happening and i thought, ok i misread or i don't know how to interpret. a year later it happened. 1 yr for me is an eternity yet for yi is just a difficult beginning. also looking back i think , by knowing that something will certainly happen, i kept pressing and pushing her till i manage to scare her. so, sometimes is better to just follow(17) and don't ask what is going to be.
 
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oponopono

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(another long one - sorry - one can tell im off track...)

what is silly to say? and why? it would be nice to know the first reading you got.. about this guy... I'm sure there is the answer of your mistake about the situation.

Ultimately I cannot blame the book for my decisions, thats why in a way its silly to go back to the book and fetch signs that we were doomed, or signs that the book kept my hopes up. I kept my hopes up.

there are many examples of readings I found promising, but the most striking selection is :

>> (we had recently met) what is the potential for a romantic relationship? 37 (6) > 63
I know 63 refers to something that has ended already, but as we had just met it didnt make sense, so i focused on the "great good fortune" of the line, and being inside the Family felt also nice...

>> (one month later) what does he feel for me? 40 (1,4) > 19
now I read line 1 as no attachment, but then I didnt, I read it as no remorse, no blame, I focused on mutating 19, which I thought was good, and line 4 for me was about getting read of obstacles between us...

>> (some weeks ago) Give me an image of what is going on between us? 37 (4,5) > 30
this one is SOOOOO tricky!... she being the treasure of the house and a king approaching his family and both being good-fortuned lines, no wonder I was reassured it would go well...:confused:

>> (just last week, after a rather intense meeting) which direction is our relationship taking now until 2011? 8 (1) > 3
I also read this one as a sign to stay confident and truthful to what I was feeling.


Hello Yoana,
I hope you are doing all right. Thank you for keeping us posted.

Oh - thats just so nice. Its been such a long Day-After rejection kinna day...

It is no fault of yours, we get involved and sometimes we perceive the wrong signals. The art of courtship can be quite tricky. You will become better a woman, no worries.

Thanks Tifa, for the nice words. Really. This time Im not up for beating myself up as usual, and that 25 kinna help me land into that. I have to be more cautious and clever next time, for sure.
Why do you feel this 25/35 needs more time? I read it as something already passed, the mistake is made, it will be solved in its own accord - just move on.



"reading the readings" i think is just a difficult beginning but what does your intuition tells you?

Thats the most unsettling of it all, gato. Since moment one I felt so strongly we had such a good chemistry. I often catch him looking at me marveled... when I am in the space his energy, his body angles, are completely turned towards me and mapping my movements. I mean, I was a dancer all my life - I am pretty sure I can read bodies...! (at least I was... now I am doubting...) his body language kept saying he cherished me. Its pretty uncanny how he stressed so much the fact that the idea of me and him NEVER crossed his mind. I think between a man and a woman who spend so much time together, at least one indulges in the idea at some point... But no, in this he was as dry as stone, he left no space for ambiguities, I am as attractive to him as his dish-washing machine. Maybe less.

My intuition told me all along there is something. And I made a mistake, and now I have to deal with it.

Maybe its just time. Maybe if this other woman suddenly leaves the stage he could come to look at me differently. Maybe, maybe, maybe. The important for me now is really to move on, and not feed any expectations. He knows where to find me when he changes his mind, and I am not one to keep a bitter heart.

Of course, it would be utterly beautiful to have an experience like yours, one year after - amazing! - i ll keep my fingers crossed for Y´s grandiose sense of time!



I have to confess this opportunity to come here to the Forum and putting it in a larger frame really helps.
Thanks for the comments and Thanks for reading...!
:hug:
 

icegrapefruit

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Hi, Yoana! I am for one would be curious to see those promising answers. I used to be in a situation where I too asked way too many question only to squeeze out something positive for my wishes from the Yi. But of course, life cannot be tricked that way. :) 5.3 and 5.4 seem to be clear enough but what was 5.2 and 60.2 trying to tell you, I wonder.

As for the "let's talk about it" debate, my experience is that the best way is to simply say and ask what one has to say and ask. Many circles can be saved that way. :)
 

oponopono

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Hi, Yoana! I am for one would be curious to see those promising answers.

Hi icegrapefruit, I listed them above, as a response to Patro. Let me know how much promise u think I projected on to them... :p

As for the "let's talk about it" debate, my experience is that the best way is to simply say and ask what one has to say and ask. Many circles can be saved that way. :)

Yeah. Definitely. I understand guys dont like it. But to think I could actually already have known two weeks ago that he cherishes me like a little sister - that could have spared me some hassle...
But better late than ever.

Anyway, I seem to be reacting awfully good this time round. Two days gone by and I already feel very fit again...maybe its the support of the Forum! :hug:

cheers,
Yoana
 

icegrapefruit

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Geez! I completely missed the second page of the thread yesterday, sorry about that!

Thanks for sharing all those readings, you are right, they are more than tricky, and added to it what you experienced in person, his body language and such, no surprise you felt encouraged. It is easy to tell a "something is going on" from a "nothing is going on" but it can be very difficult to tell two "something is going on"s from one another. :confused:
 

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