Advice Hexagram 22.4 to 30

[MeltingPot247]

Hi all,

I asked for advice on how to create real emotional and physical distance between myself and someone else - as I don't want to carry on in this Non-committal way that he has become accustomed to with me.

The answer I received was 22.4 to 30 - Clarity / Clinging from Beauty/ Grace.

The 4th line Hilary speaks of

beautiful like pure white
like a soaring white horse
Not a robber, but marital ally.

This seems to be telling me not to create physical emotional distance, though I might be reading this wrong and I'm open to other suggestions.

Thank you

 

[marybluesky]

Hello;

You've asked how to create distance & I read your answer as: by being clear about your intent in a graceful manner.

 

[rosada]

22.4 You aspire to something higher...than 30. fellow travelers.

This seems pretty cut and dried without telling you exactly what to say or do. Perhaps by really getting it - really realizing this friendis not a marital ally and that you don't need to settle for an arrangement that's robbing you of your time, you will be strengthened in your resolution and then be able to easily, gracefully! - say, "I don't want to play house anymore. I gotta think about building a real partnership." One thing about hex 30, it has a nice feeling of people being supportive so you may find that your friend understands and is able to accept your new edict.

 

[my_key]

Hi all,

I asked for advice on how to create real emotional and physical distance between myself and someone else - as I don't want to carry on in this Non-committal way that he has become accustomed to with me.

The answer I received was 22.4 to 30 - Clarity / Clinging from Beauty/ Grace.

Hex 22 concerns itself with the outward appearance of your situation and how you can deal with this through beautifying it. It calls for good grace and flexibility in your approach and attitudes to adapt to what presents itself. With this you to impose a direction on it (judgement) without daring to be severe or to enforce criminal punishments (image). Rather than being severe in any way you are encouraged to brighten the standards of the masses by accepting them as they are. Maybe something like lead and others will follow or be the behaviours that you want to see.

I agree with you when looking at 22.4 - whatever is going on with this person they are not your enemy or robbing you. The closer you can get to understanding why he behaves in the way he does will begin to melt the illusions (that you both hold) and allow them to disapper from the relationship between the two of you.

Small acts like naming frustrations or areas of mistrust will bring you closer to the clarity you are looking for. After all the underlying essence of Hex 22 is Hex 40 Loosening.

Maybe the advice is "Allow a natural loosening of this situation. Adorn it with honesty in your actions words, intentions and choices and this will bring a clearer understanding for you. Such are the benefits of allowing light to shine on a blank page.

....or it might be nothing like this for you.

Good Luck

 

[MeltingPot247]

So far all of you have touched on other thoughts and feelings I have had about the reading and situation. I thank you for that.

I had earlier written in a journal to my recently deceased sister:

"If I could ask you for any advice or favor right now, it would be on how to stop me from spending anymore time with "X"...to me it's like my feelings for him are being wasted and made worthless and I'd rather share them with someone who loves, respects and appreciates me the way I do for them, I know you could relate to that, I love you sis xx".

Mary blue sky and Rosada - I do prefer a marital ally, not someone robbing me of the precious time and value I believe I have left... and your insights into being clear in my intent with grace and not playing house are on point.

In addition MyKey - your insights and suggestions to not be harsh and to dig deeper resonate too... For me, it has been by accepting him completely as he is that we have gotten this far... But along the way I've kept showing him who I am and times before have mentioned why I can't stay a certain way he's wanted me to.

The advice I read here does give me some strength and courage to do the right thing for my heart's sake in this situation, and that is to do my part to loosen us from each other, which means not spending time together and not giving in to visits unless we are both doing so for the others full safety, security and well-being in a wholehearted and fully committed / caring way.

I appreciate all of you. Thank you

 

[MeltingPot247]

I may have seen this in another 22.4 thread, but this song resonates with this cast: