Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
So... even the teenagers start "soon" to have their relationships (sooner than me for sure), while now I'm just so much older than them and still have hidden myself from the world from that age until recent years.
Then, the question is:
"How will I allow myself to enjoy sexual relationships with someone I like or fancy?"
But I got the unchanging 25, which means surprise, unexpected.
And it's bugging too much to just unleash my sexuality because i dont meet anybody, when everybody had the luck to hang out and meet girls at 15 or 18 and to find themselves a first (not lifetime love of course!) love at 17. So sad to see others experiencing things while at that age I was sadly and unluckily at home studying all the time.
I try not to think about the decade which is over - but it's not about a week or a year, it's a decade.
But a decade, wth, I see all these kids with their mates, allowing things instead of avoiding them... It just feels awful, and wasted.
Unchanging 25 speaks to me about being natural and unplanned. Perhaps what makes me avoid certain things is to plan or meet one person... Like for example if a person shows an interest, I'm not accepting, because i feel like I'm getting married and i dont allow myself to try or to enjoy the moment. I have been so much alone for a decade I am basically born to be able to stay alone
But if I, myself, choose first to invite him out for a tea, I feel better. Because I was quite sure to choose it by myself. If I meet someone at a party when I'm surrounded by friends, and it all comes step by step, it feels better. But without planning or overthinking.
Plus, when I was in my first twenties, I felt I had many more crushes. Now basically nobody catches my attention for much time or to take the step, anymore. And the anxiety about intimacy still comes because it is late now.
Then, the question is:
"How will I allow myself to enjoy sexual relationships with someone I like or fancy?"
But I got the unchanging 25, which means surprise, unexpected.
And it's bugging too much to just unleash my sexuality because i dont meet anybody, when everybody had the luck to hang out and meet girls at 15 or 18 and to find themselves a first (not lifetime love of course!) love at 17. So sad to see others experiencing things while at that age I was sadly and unluckily at home studying all the time.
I try not to think about the decade which is over - but it's not about a week or a year, it's a decade.
But a decade, wth, I see all these kids with their mates, allowing things instead of avoiding them... It just feels awful, and wasted.
Unchanging 25 speaks to me about being natural and unplanned. Perhaps what makes me avoid certain things is to plan or meet one person... Like for example if a person shows an interest, I'm not accepting, because i feel like I'm getting married and i dont allow myself to try or to enjoy the moment. I have been so much alone for a decade I am basically born to be able to stay alone
But if I, myself, choose first to invite him out for a tea, I feel better. Because I was quite sure to choose it by myself. If I meet someone at a party when I'm surrounded by friends, and it all comes step by step, it feels better. But without planning or overthinking.
Plus, when I was in my first twenties, I felt I had many more crushes. Now basically nobody catches my attention for much time or to take the step, anymore. And the anxiety about intimacy still comes because it is late now.
Last edited: