Am I alienating people?

[em ching]

Hi,

I have a couple of blogs (message me if you'd like the addresses!) One is of my writing (and quite revealing...) the other is of my interests - quotes I like, music, photos etc.

As I said, they're quite revealing and I'm worried I may be alienating people, perhaps who don't understand me, or misunderstand me, take them to literally etc etc.

I asked the I ching:
Am I alienating people with my blogs (people I already know that is) or must I be true to myself and brave?
18.3, 4 > 64

Hilary:
You want to deal with corruption and move on, setting life on a firmer footing... this can easily tip over into being pushy and anxious and going too far. So there is small regret – perhaps you could have managed this better, or more calmly – but no great mistake. Your basic desire to understand and move forward is not wrong at all.

- This line is OK and how I feel. It's a project for me at the mo - going through old notebooks and putting ideas and feelings out there, in a way so I can start afresh once I'm done. Write more positively and hopefully stories, not so introspective.

But....

Line 4: 'The situation is fundamentally corrupt. Only a thoroughgoing reform of the whole structure will create a healthy environment for future growth.
However, you’re reluctant to take on responsibility for such a decisive change. You don’t want to see how rotten things have become; you find you can tolerate the situation, and live in the expectation – or just the hope – that it will all sort itself out somehow.But in fact the real situation is not sustainable, and if you go on this will become painfully apparent.

64 > Chaos...

I do kind of feel like I'd like to leave them as they are, because I'm expressing myself, but I don't want to be causing further corruption... Perhaps if you're interested and would like to check them out maybe you could give your opinion as to whether I need to rein them in a bit? I am also, in a way, trying to get the attention of someone I feel would understand it all, the same person I'm now estranged from, which may be dodgy

Perhaps the reading is saying that this is an on-going journey, not yet completed and the negativity is part of the journey? A lot of my posts on my writing blog are about depression, and the pain of rejection/unrequited love etc. They reflect past states that I don't feel now, or at least no where near as strongly, because I feel happy at the mo, OK with myself for perhaps the first time in my life, and I think writing has played a big part in that. I just hope I'm not causing corruption by expressing myself in this way.

Em:bows:

 

[Tohpol]

Line 4: 'The situation is fundamentally corrupt. Only a thoroughgoing reform of the whole structure will create a healthy environment for future growth.
However, you’re reluctant to take on responsibility for such a decisive change. You don’t want to see how rotten things have become; you find you can tolerate the situation, and live in the expectation – or just the hope – that it will all sort itself out somehow.But in fact the real situation is not sustainable, and if you go on this will become painfully apparent.

64 > Chaos...

I do kind of feel like I'd like to leave them as they are, because I'm expressing myself, but I don't want to be causing further corruption... Perhaps if you're interested and would like to check them out maybe you could give your opinion as to whether I need to rein them in a bit? I am also, in a way, trying to get the attention of someone I feel would understand it all, the same person I'm now estranged from, which may be dodgy

Perhaps the reading is saying that this is an on-going journey, not yet completed and the negativity is part of the journey? A lot of my posts on my writing blog are about depression, and the pain of rejection/unrequited love etc. They reflect past states that I don't feel now, or at least no where near as strongly, because I feel happy at the mo, OK with myself for perhaps the first time in my life, and I think writing has played a big part in that. I just hope I'm not causing corruption by expressing myself in this way.

Em:bows:

Very often we can use up what we might call "fine energies" that can be accumulated from positive introspection and self observation by channelling it all into self indulgent activities that boost the negative aspects of our personality i.e. self- pity, desire to influence someone, self-satisfction etc. At the same time, this can be a good channel for retaining some equilibrium and healthy expressions of likes and dislikes; to explore what has gone before and how that can inform your future. It's all a question of intention....I think being "happy" is a good thing provided it isn't the result of covering over potential at the cost of deeper growth where it counts.

18.3.4 > 64 could be saying yes, working on yourself, improving yourself is a good thing even to go a bit far, but do it for the right reasons and be aware of when you are slipping into bad habits. So it's work in progress. Perhaps you are on a see-saw or a fulcrum between lines 3 and 4.

 

[rosada]

As the I Ching doesn't give "yes' or "no" answers, I think 18.3.4 > 64. is giving you a snapshot of the situation and leaving it up to you to decide how to negotiate it.

Basically I get that IC is seeing your efforts as an attempt to clear up the past (18) so that you can complete that experience (64) and move on, but it is advising you that by focusing on these negative situations you are creating more of the same over and over so you never get to that opposite shore.

18. 3
Setting right what has been spoiled by the father.
There will be a little remorse. No great blame.

A brief post saying what you felt needed to be said.
You may later regret having posted even this, but no great problems result.

18.4
Tolerating what has been spoiled by the father.
In continuing one sees humiliation.

To continue posting about your issues gives the impression you haven't resolved them.
To continue with these posts only makes you appear less and less effective and thereby, less attractive.
--

I think the I Ching is advising you enough with the self-dissection already!

Best wishes,
Rosada

 

[em ching]

Perhaps you are on a see-saw or a fulcrum between lines 3 and 4.

Yes that's exactly how I feel. They were written to relieve myself during dark times, but the main reason I want to share them is because, aside from the subject matter, I think they're quite original in terms of imagery and metaphor etc. The site I have them on also has a host of great photos and art, and I've found really unique ones to perfectly, well uniquely, put my words into pictures.

But, I am aware that most of what I have from my notebooks is negative... but I'm enjoying sharing them, maybe especially because of finding pics etc. And maybe I'm doing it to prove myself. But it's very hard to know whether it's worth it, and whether they're good enough.

I asked Is it good that I'm sharing my art?
31.6> 33

Hilary:
Words are a way to express an influence while keeping at a safe distance from real action. They are not good or bad, they are simply words: a way for ideas and feelings to find an outlet with no direct consequences. But eloquent words carry emotional power, and have indirect consequences: they magnify and spread the influence that inspired them. Yet they should still not be mistaken for anything more than words.

-Relevant to a t! Maybe this reading is reminding me not to take it all so seriously? But also maybe encouraging to share anyway? I'd really like to think that they're inspiring or comforting someone out there...

I'm also worried that people will misjudge me or form an impression of me based on them, and perhaps I should make them more private (I'm mainly thinking in case future potential employers see them and think me over-emotional or something...)

63.5,6 > 22

63.5 > is about it being better to make a small offering so perhaps I should make my pages more private, as revealing too much could be counterproductive to my future?
63.6 > Hilary: ... There is a danger of losing your forward momentum and being pulled back into old ways. You need to remember your original objective and actively to build for the future.

- Well my original objective was to share my art and become more of a writer, give my ideas a vehicle rather than letting them gather dust... but it's also bringing out my neurotic-ness :S

22 > Simplicity. Maybe it's saying that people will be able to see the truth and sincerity behind the words and/or wouldn't judge me because of them? As 31.6 says, they're only words?

But perhaps 63.6 is reflecting how all this anxiety around my blog is dragging me back into old ways of self-doubt, paranoia and distrust of others. I guess I don't want to be dismissed on account of them, which boils down to my fear of rejection...

Thanks

:bows:

 

[em ching]

Basically I get that IC is seeing your efforts as an attempt to clear up the past (18) so that you can complete that experience (64) and move on, but it is advising you that by focusing on these negative situations you are creating more of the same over and over so you never get to that opposite shore.

Thanks Rosada. Yes the above is right. Maybe what you say about stopping the self-dissection would be a good idea, ie. leave what's left of my notebooks and start afresh now (if I can write as well when I'm happy lol.) But I just feel like I'd like to get it all out, no matter what the consequences and regardless of how I feel now, but then obviously I'm not 100% on that idea or I wouldn't be fretting so much about it now...

It all comes down to... I don't know being on the computer too much?
But as you say, I suppose people will read some of it and assume I haven't moved on. Now I see the debate about whether you can divorce the artist from their art from the artist's side of the story. For example, we studied American Psycho at uni, and had to wonder whether the writer, was of sound mind... But no matter the content, sometimes if the writing is so good (as I feel Ellis's is despite the sentiment) it is still inspiring and worth being out there. As long as you don't take it too literally...?

I think maybe what could be seen - please correct me if you see it differently - in 63.5,6 > 22 is:
63.5 > Maybe it is a relatively small offering, and I do live in the West ... so maybe it isn't OTT.
63.6 > And it's a completed work. To go back and re-jig it and perhaps even delete it, would get my tail wet, so keep moving; keep creating?

:bows:

 

[anemos]

hi Fellow Bloger

I agree with what other says. I have a blog too for 2 years. Its my sacred place. had the same dillema at first, but then I decided to write whatever I feel without thinking what others would read and how they would felt. It the place I can tell everything I want or better as a friend has told me to put there "what wants to be written !"

I see you reading , is about about your need to write. So , write !!

wish you inspiration and lots of fun.

In your blog , we wil find treasures , now or later . Beautiful surprises

 

[em ching]

It the place I can tell everything I want or better as a friend has told me to put there "what wants to be written !"

I like that. Thanks!

 

[anemos]

Thanks Em. Its an advise from a special mind , words tha worth to be spread

reading your blog now . keep Writing !!! Lovely post, powerful posts. keep writing !!

 

[tigerintheboat]

Two Incompatible Goals

Hi,

I have a couple of blogs (message me if you'd like the addresses!) One is of my writing (and quite revealing...) the other is of my interests - quotes I like, music, photos etc.

As I said, they're quite revealing and I'm worried I may be alienating people, perhaps who don't understand me, or misunderstand me, take them to literally etc etc.

I asked the I ching:
Am I alienating people with my blogs (people I already know that is) or must I be true to myself and brave?
18.3, 4 > 64

Em, I wonder if you have two incompatible goals: one to practice and perfect your skills as a writer, and the other to write about your issues, problems, and deeply personal thoughts.

To write about yourself naked and exposed, in public, without even a thin veneer of fiction, is perhaps a modern invention. Diaries and intimate letters and thoughts were usually not meant for publication in the past, at least not until after death. Writers worked out their thoughts and issues by presenting them in fiction.

Thus I wonder if you are confusing those two purposes into one activity, and that is what is creating the corruption. To write personal things in a diary is no corruption, if it is useful to you. It may even work against corruption towards a kind of cleansing. To post the same thoughts on a billboard in Times Square or in the heart of London is, I think, a kind of corruption.

So that is my thoughts on Lines 3 and 4, is that the confusion of the purposes leads to Chaos. You are Not Yet Across; you need to be clearer on your purpose(s) in writing, and what the correct venue if for those purposes, if they conflict.

Best Wishes,

Tiger

 

[em ching]

Em, I wonder if you have two incompatible goals: one to practice and perfect your skills as a writer, and the other to write about your issues, problems, and deeply personal thoughts.

To write about yourself naked and exposed, in public, without even a thin veneer of fiction, is perhaps a modern invention. Diaries and intimate letters and thoughts were usually not meant for publication in the past, at least not until after death. Writers worked out their thoughts and issues by presenting them in fiction.

...You are Not Yet Across; you need to be clearer on your purpose(s) in writing, and what the correct venue if for those purposes, if they conflict.

Wow that's brilliant. I have though, only included writings that are strong on imagery, or poetic (as I see it). Not just a straight diary type entry of my feelings... But you've hit the nail on the head about incompatible goals. A part of me is putting them out there to impress, as well as express (with a certain person in mind though he's probably not seen it and only chance could bring him to my page anyway, yawn..). But also to give my ideas a vehicle and get feedback etc, but because of the content, it's churned things up a bit going back, and then became a personal purge. And then of course made me worry people would think I'm still full of unresolved issues and hopelessly in love with someone (as Rosada said).

But I think I'm almost through with that (going through old stuff) and will then be writing more for writing's sake, or at least from where I'm at now and aim to be a little less subjective/introspective. Though you can't plan art I guess. But like you say, make my goal trying to perfect my skills as a writer...

I read a quote: 'Writing is like prostitution. First you write for love, then for your friends, then for the money'.

That kind of rings true, although I'd say I do love it (and blogs don't pay ). I've always loved reading and feel good about myself that I'm contributing something. I guess part of my compulsion to put it online, was with a vague idea that it might make someone notice me, but now the fun of doing it is over-taking that.

I do feel better about it all now. Thanks all who responded. My latest entries are quite gruesome actually, so if anyone likes gore... which is odd because I don't read horror. A writer friend did say my mind was a little twisted which was nice... well at least it's twisting the page and not me now! Perhaps...

Thanks.

:bows:

 

[em ching]

42.6

Would appreciate help with a line. A couple of times I've received 42.6 when asking generally about my writing...

I guess this is saying I'm not giving enough. I guess when people read they like to learn something, as well as be taken on a journey, with characters and action etc. I'm not in the habit of writing stories but would love to be because that's what I like reading, more than poetry etc. I've written a couple of short ones, but nothing that I felt had much heart.

Would you say that 42.6 is a warning that people can tell I'm writing for myself? Too introspective etc?
I've also read that 42.6 can be about expecting too much from people.

The questions were around what people think about my writing. Maybe it's reminding me that I shouldn't be doing it for what I'd like to receive... But in practical terms, would you say it's drawing my attention to trying to write for everyone rather than myself? Somehow?... And how do you know if you are or not? Most artists create from an inner-necessity and if people like it then that's great...

:bows:

 

[tigerintheboat]

The End of Increase

A couple of times I've received 42.6 when asking generally about my writing...

I guess this is saying I'm not giving enough.

The questions were around what people think about my writing. Maybe it's reminding me that I shouldn't be doing it for what I'd like to receive...

I think if I got this, I would take it to mean that I had lost my way, and just wanted things without thinking about what direction I was going and what I had given as payment along the way.

I doubt Yi is commenting so much about the quality or direction of your writing, but probably your desire to have praise from other people.

Hilary says about H42.6 "Desire and intention are at their peak, yet increase is not flowing at all....There is no will to persevere, to commit to a single direction....If you are only interested in what you need to receive, and not in giving...you are likely to attract hostility and misfortune."

When I have received this line, they were in "what if" situations, and I took the meaning to be "its a bad idea, no increase." So you might think about using some "What if" questions around your writing, to see what comes up. Generally, worry and ask less about what people think, and look instead at the utility of what you write and publish: can it bring increase to you or others?

Best Wishes,

Tiger

 

[anemos]

The questions were around what people think about my writing. Maybe it's reminding me that I shouldn't be doing it for what I'd like to receive... But in practical terms, would you say it's drawing my attention to trying to write for everyone rather than myself? Somehow?... And how do you know if you are or not? Most artists create from an inner-necessity and if people like it then that's great...

:bows:

Em,

You can't write for everyone ! that is not possible, imo. I can't think of an artist that EVERYONE like him/her. My brother loves Dali's art, a friend of mine hate Dali's art. But their opinions has nothing to do with Dali itself.

Check Bradford 42.6. I think it fits to your question.

 

[Trojina]

Would appreciate help with a line. A couple of times I've received 42.6 when asking generally about my writing...

I guess this is saying I'm not giving enough. I guess when people read they like to learn something, as well as be taken on a journey, with characters and action etc. I'm not in the habit of writing stories but would love to be because that's what I like reading, more than poetry etc. I've written a couple of short ones, but nothing that I felt had much heart.

Would you say that 42.6 is a warning that people can tell I'm writing for myself? Too introspective etc?
I've also read that 42.6 can be about expecting too much from people.

The questions were around what people think about my writing. Maybe it's reminding me that I shouldn't be doing it for what I'd like to receive... But in practical terms, would you say it's drawing my attention to trying to write for everyone rather than myself? Somehow?... And how do you know if you are or not? Most artists create from an inner-necessity and if people like it then that's great...

:bows:

its always worth bearing in mind 'people' are waaay more interested in their own inner lives than they are in yours. I like this thought as it makes me feel less self conscious and freer when i worry what others think.... Could be 42.6 is just a reminder of that. Who do you think is scrutinizing you so closely and is your focus on their focus on you making you forget that most often their attention, like yours, goes inwards to their own concerns. If you don't keep one eye on that fact about 'people' you could get a bit lost in your own experience of increase and lose touch with the very people you seek to reach in your writing

 

[em ching]

... you might think about using some "What if" questions around your writing, to see what comes up. Generally, worry and ask less about what people think, and look instead at the utility of what you write and publish: can it bring increase to you or others?

I will thank you.

 

[em ching]

Em,

You can't write for everyone ! that is not possible, imo. I can't think of an artist that EVERYONE like him/her. My brother loves Dali's art, a friend of mine hate Dali's art. But their opinions has nothing to do with Dali itself.

Check Bradford 42.6. I think it fits to your question.

Thanks anemos. I just read the Bradford translation. It said something about, doing something for popularity's sake, no matter how damaging. That's my worry I guess, that I'm coming across as over-negative. Expressing my inner-extremes to get attention. But I've now shown the blog to a few friends and family, in the last couple of days, and they've said it isn't as negative as the expected... I guess I just seem to carry around this feeling that I'm doing things wrong...

Exactly you can't win them all. 'One man's meat is another man's poison' after all...

 

[em ching]

its always worth bearing in mind 'people' are waaay more interested in their own inner lives than they are in yours. I like this thought as it makes me feel less self conscious and freer when i worry what others think....

Yes I did think that while I was writing this thread. I try to remember that. But I guess with this issue of my writing, I'm expressing a part of myself that is important to me. And also, I know that people could get the wrong idea, and so it could affect relationships. But I try to remember not to take myself so seriously, and forget other people have lives too. I came across a great quote on the subject by Russell Brand:

“It’s difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you. No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it’s an artificial idea. Really, people aren’t that worried about what you’re doing or what you’re saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.”

If you don't keep one eye on that fact about 'people' you could get a bit lost in your own experience of increase and lose touch with the very people you seek to reach in your writing

Yes, dance like no one's watching, write like no one's reading... from the soul. And I don't think my soul's bad :demon: Maybe I need to give people the benefit of the doubt too. After all, when I read, I don't think of the writer so much, rather my reaction to it.

Thanks