another unpaid job :( 51.3>55, 45 unchanging

[Olga Super Star]

Hello there everyone - I'm a bit sad today :/

I am an actress and although I receive lots of compliments during workshops I never get offered professional paid jobs. And the only time I did I was first confirmed then told that the assistant didn't want to work with me, so the director was sorry but I was out of the play.

What I get offered is usually unpaid and choral work such as being part of a group of people that at a point need to cross the stage.

This is rather frustrating but up to now I have accepted as I thought that it might get me connections in a way.

Last week I was offered another of these "I need some actors but can't pay them, why don't you do it? you'll have the opportunity to be on the stage" things.
The people that offered me the "opportunity" are quite famous in the theatre world so I accepted the offer.

The 4 days rehearsals have been really boring (I am not learning anything!!!!!!!!!) so today I asked

Is it right to do this play? 45 unchanging
I read it as 45: gathering of people, many people (we are indeed a group of zombies on the stage)
It sounds to me that it invites to see if there is either a great vision in this work (learning something, which there isn't, as we just have to walk as stupid zombies and then fall down on the floor as if killed by the two main actors) or results (money? there isn't either).

Then I asked WHY am I just being offered these unpaid appearances? 51.3>55
This is total mistery to me.
There is a shock?! where?

Last What do I have to do to become a professional (paid) actress? 62 unchanging
Be modest and don't look too high? just do small things?
if doing small things is the right thing to do then I guess I'm on the right track with doing these appearances.. I mean, there can't be a smaller thing than the one I'm doing right now!

 

[Olga Super Star]

Just to update it and tell you that I did the unpaid performance.

The two artists are quite famous so I did it. I joined the group. We worked together for 4 days, then it was up to us to do the play at night.
I just did it TWICE, for two nights, and not for the whole 23 nights.
I am still in contact with the director but since I saw that there was not going to be any evolution (working prospects) I just performed twice.


Still wondering about that 62 unchanging.. Would you say it was telling me to forget about it?

 

[goddessliss]

Olga, your life sounds likes a perpetual storm Hex 51 - this is the time to take action and make changes and this means inner changes. Time to take the direction of the Sage.
- Liss

 

[anemos]

Still wondering about that 62 unchanging.. Would you say it was telling me to forget about it?

 

[Olga Super Star]

Thanks to both of you! so inner changes and be alert to what the universe gives me..

Yesterday the universe called me up for an interview for a "normal" job: the pay is something like 20€ for 8 hour's work.
Honestly I can't be responsive to this, can I? I mean there's a limit below which I can't descend, and that's 20€ for a full day's work!

 

[goddessliss]

It's not about descending - it's about getting your ego out of the way or else you keep tripping over yourself. Up your self worth from within Olga. - Liss

 

[Olga Super Star]

I still don't understand..

But thank you for replying anyway

 

[goddessliss]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elyse-gorman/the-difference-between-yo_b_6103266.html

Read and try to learn - surely if you're a Buddhist you would already understand.

 

[Trojina]

The people that offered me the "opportunity" are quite famous in the theatre world so I accepted the offer

It's that. Your idea that being famous actually matters at all. Your idea that you will work for them because they are famous. That isn't really a true value is it ? At least I think Yi's answers lend themselves to being rich and famous as much as they lend themselves to getting rich for the sake of it. IOW in my experience they tend to steer us to deeper truer values.

That might well sound a bit pompous. Afterall a bit of fame and fortune is always nice BUT it just isn't an enduring basis or value to build your life on. I'm not just responding to this thread but all the threads where you call yourself a 'failed actress' aged 39.

Please, just call yourself a woman in her prime who has done some acting and might do more and get paid but who also has so much else to offer and so much else to explore. Your inner life for one thing.

Doesn't mean you have to take any crap job but you never know where things may lead even in crap jobs. You said you'd have to work from home....maybe in another thread. That doesn't sound great, too isolating unless you manage to get out often. One plus side of going to work is often meeting those you normally wouldn't socialise with.

But if you give those people the idea you only interested in mingling with people who are famous and so on they will think you stuck up, unreal....all that that you asked about in a thread about how no one seemed to believe you or didn't like you and so on.

If someone comes along and starts saying 'I have worked with famous people etc etc' they won't be popular they will be seen as narcissists.

I think we here at the forum know you aren't really like that. We know you're quite sweet because we see your vulnerability here but do others see your vulnerability in your daily life ? Maybe if you spoke less of your wish for fame and what famous people you've worked with, and more of just how you really are it might be easier for you generally ?

What I just said would relate very much to hexagram 62. If a small bird flies low he keeps safer, safe to carry the message he needs to carry of the inner truth of 61. If he soars too high, where others cannot relate to him, or he's out of his environment, he cannot deliver.

 

[goddessliss]

Yep Trojina saying the same sort of thing as me only she's so much more gentle than I am about it. uch:

 

[Trojina]

not usually....you're usually more gentle than me.

maybe I'm going soft in the head.

 

[goddessliss]

Sorry to tell ya this but once you hit 50 - soft in the head is part of the uh, dare I say it aging process! see that doesn't hurt as much anymore does it cause we just think Oh My if you don't get it I'm not gonna keep banging my head against your brickwall....

 

[precision grace]

Yeah, I think your castings are very much pointing to the fact that your aim is exceeding your reach. 62 in particular is something I always get as almost a little slap on the wrist when I've been having ideas above my station, or just been over zealous.

Personally, I sympathise with your situation, it's awful how much free work artists are expected to do; but once a person does start making good connections and becomes known as a reliable, good worker, then paid work tends to turn up. Of course, you always have to thread that line between being taken advantage of and being seen as a diva. Tough call. Anyway, I think your reading was saying it's good to join the group (45) and some sort of shock leads to renewal - so perhaps this was an opportunity to jump start your career in some way, maybe it still is?

 

[goddessliss]

Well said pg xx

 

[Olga Super Star]

I'm really sorry to give the idea of someone that just aims at famous people - in fact I am not at all. I don't go around saying that I've worked with famous people because I have worked with no one really. So I really have no experience up to now.

I don't call that appearance on the stage "work". And by saying that they're famous I meant to say that they're well known in the underground theatre life of my town. They are NOT famous or mainstream.. Some nights there were just 10 people in the theatre watching them!

I wrote that I accepted the job with them because they're famous yes, it means to me that they're professional. And much respected by critics.

I also wrote ONCE that I was a failed actress meaning a not working actress. English is not my language so I don't always write appropriately.
It sounds really good to me to think that I value independently of what I do. But what we do tends to influence how we feel. So if with my good degree I just get shitty jobs it's not increasing my happiness or sense of value.
I have often worked as a waitress. Last year I was cleaning the bedrooms of a B&B. I had to run after the boss who didn't want to pay me. It's always like that! In the end I have to threaten people, to tell them that if they don't pay me I'll go to the police or shoot them in their face. Once I brought an employer to court too. He lost the case and had to pay but just refused to. I had to hire a private lawyer that threatened him to kill him unless he gave me the money the tribunal had decided he would have to.
This happens to a lot of people, ok, but in more than one case when there were many of us working (as in a restaurant for example) the boss would pay everyone but me. Tough to accept but it's the truth.

I already work part time from home as a translator anyway, so this other job was just a plus. But I've decided not to accept it as I might earn more money working as a cleaner in a private house

 

[Olga Super Star]

Thank you for replying anyway, I really appreciated. I shall keep myself LOW

Although I am already so low (both theatre and non-theatre jobs + house + love) that it's quite difficult to think of something even lower than where I am

 

[goddessliss]

Last year I was cleaning the bedrooms of a B&B. I had to run after the boss who didn't want to pay me. It's always like that! In the end I have to threaten people, to tell them that if they don't pay me I'll go to the police or shoot them in their face. Once I brought an employer to court too. He lost the case and had to pay but just refused to. I had to hire a private lawyer that threatened him to kill him unless he gave me the money the tribunal had decided he would have to.
This happens to a lot of people, ok, but in more than one case when there were many of us working (as in a restaurant for example) the boss would pay everyone but me.

That's the Buddhist way for sure :bows:

 

[Olga Super Star]

But do you have something called "figurative speech" in English?
sure you must have!

And anyway.. being a Buddhist does not mean not fighting for one's own rights

 

[goddessliss]

Figurative speech or not I myself, being a Truth Seeker and a seeker of Justice, can never ever remember threatening to shoot someone in the face or anywhere else.

The thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit; and habit hardens into character.
Buddha

Surely you gotta ask yourself why the same thing keeps happening to YOU over and over again??