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Another work meeting 6.6>47

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becalm

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Following this thread https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/index.php?threads/hit-the-fan-60-3.28798/

So I thought this was all done and dusted I said my piece, they took note, I saw a few changes. End of story.....nope!
They want a follow up meeting on Monday to see how we can go forward from here bringing ANOTHER person, from HR this time.
Not sure why but they suggested I could bring a support person, I asked oh is that because you are going to terminate my job and they laughed no it's just a meeting how we can go forward from here.

What do I need to know about Monday's meeting - Hex 6.6>47
Tricky line I think but the reading pretty much says to me Don't keep arguing my point because I'm in a no win situation.
 
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hilary

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Another way to see this is that, in this meeting, whoever wins the argument and takes home the trophy has not really won anything. So in practice, yes, it means you shouldn't keep arguing, but also that this is just not really that kind of situation, where someone can 'win'.
 

my_key

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What do I need to know about Monday's meeting - Hex 6.6>47
Tricky line I think but the reading pretty much says to me Don't keep arguing my point because I'm in a no win situation.

Hi Becalm

Hex 6 can be more than about just conflict, it speaks of being true to yourself while facing opposition.
Arguing for most people is typically seen as exchanging views in a heated or angry way; in most cases done to win someone over to a point of view. Engaging with someone with an express desire to win means that the other person has to lose, or if they win you lose. This is not an advantageous way to step into the great stream. Better to see the great people, i.e harvesting the rewards of mature, assertive behaviour.

Line 6 is at the top where the next step is onwards into Hex 7 where leadership brings unity. So things are on the cusp of this in your reading.

So, maybe, what you need to know about Monday's meeting is to approach it in a calm, mature way. Especially when you are facing opposition be true to yourself and also look for a way through that will be advantageous to both sides. Bring unity to the situation so that there are no losers.

With respect to your comment about arguing your point, I'd see this more as you have made your point already ( they have made some changes) and although it may not be fully accepted by all there is no value in continuing 'to flog a dead horse' - you have ridden that one as far as it is likely to go. Now is the time to negotiate and support positively the next steps forward. Even if the outcome is not exactly what you had hoped for, at least you'll know that you have tried and from your new vantage point you can then decide what actions you would like to take.

Good Luck
 

rosada

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Perhaps this line is a heads up that while the current issue may be successfully resolved you should be aware that other disagreements about other matters may come up in the future and it would be good to have some closing statement like, “it’s good to know that people can bring up their concerns whenever necessary,” or some similar statement that affirms it’s okay to need to bring things up - that for this discussion to be deemed successful we needn’t imply there will be no need for similar discussions in the future.
 
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becalm

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Thanks my-key So, maybe, what you need to know about Monday's meeting is to approach it in a calm, mature way. Especially when you are facing opposition be true to yourself and also look for a way through that will be advantageous to both sides. Bring unity to the situation so that there are no losers.

This is my intention and what I'm hoping for but it does have to work both ways.....??!!
 

Trojina

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I'm afraid I see it as a bit of a hopeless line since whatever 'wins' you gain you lose. If the meeting goes well it doesn't signify long term resolution it's just another crest before a trough. But as Hilary said maybe this just isn't about winning any more. This is the last line in hexagram 6 so the contending has all been done and now it's not really about contending. If you try to take the win/lose cycle completely out of consideration there may be something else there you hadn't thought of.

So when I say it's hopeless I mean it's hopeless in the context of continuing to contend, to guard yourself/fight your corner but if you detach yourself from that whole mindset maybe there's something else there ?

Didn't you have 60.2 about taking another job ? That would suggest you do need to apply. Then again changing jobs is quite wearing and maybe this one can go on for a while and things may seem okay for a while but at some point if you stay within the cycle of win/lose you will lose again and win again and lose again.

I do think it takes a lot of imagination to see what could be beyond the win/lose cycle in the situation. I confess I've never managed to capture that except perhaps in hindsight. For example looking back I can see I perceived I was in competition with a colleague where I was losing but from a distance of 20 odd years I can just about see it didn't need to be all about that even though for me it had become about that. Maybe your working life there doesn't need to be about this woman and isn't she about to go away on maternity leave ?
 
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moss elk

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This is my intention and what I'm hoping for but it does have to work both ways.....??!!

Maturity doesn't require it to work both ways.
If you are mature and the other is immature,
You can rise above them.
 
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becalm

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Agreed. I don’t think it’s about winning or losing it’s about commonsense and creating a harmonious workplace hence why I was hoping we could ‘shake hands’ ‘be mature’ and move on.
But last meeting it was made known by the boss that she’s been here 20 years and I’m what?? Still on probation.
I don’t think things will improve all that much and yes I’ll not be working with the bullying woman anymore and as it turns out she was just the catalyst for opening up the can of worms 🐛 of this high dysfunctional workplace.
Yesterday we had a workshop about Team Building and the different types of personalities and how to get along. It was interesting watching the hardest people to get along with were the most objectionable about compromise and trying to understand others way of working but became the most subdued by the end of the day plus one of them just got crankier and crankier.
I’m planning to stay there only long enough to complete my studies which should be about 6 weeks and of course it’s not ideal to keep changing jobs but I’m hoping the intensity of these challenges and the way I’ve dealt with them differently this time means I can move forward to something better.
 

moss elk

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But last meeting it was made known by the boss that she’s been here 20 years and I’m what?? Still on probation.

Right, you are the 56, wanderer, newbie in this town.
 
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becalm

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What the ‘argument’ has turned out to be! This meeting was set up today on my day off so whilst I initially agreed I decided I didn’t want to go on my day off especially as I wasn’t going to be anywhere near my workplace today. So they tried to set it up for Wednesday which is my next day off and I said no and offered a compromise and they said no to that because one of them will be on leave. Bigger picture they could have done it last week but they didn’t not sure why???!!! So I’ve finally compromised again saying I’ll come after work tomorrow which I don’t want to do but I’m trying to compromise so it doesn’t affect my days off. Two things - they manipulated me into this meeting by only giving me half a disclosure and secondly it’s a ‘lawful’ meeting so I have no choice if I wish to keep my job. Part of the reason I’m unimpressed is I’m not being paid to attend these meetings because it’s not in my work time.
 
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becalm

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The outcome is correct - whilst I was right in asking (arguing) for them to compromise and also found out I am entitled to be paid, by ringing HR, they finally kind of compromised, so no one won or lost.
But since this is situation is just another on a long list of grievances I have with this employer I have decided to resign.
I have lined up some casual work just so I can finish my studies and then I will be moving right away from the area.
 

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