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Anyone have some intuition on this relationship question?

Tigercat

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Been in a long distance relationship with this girl for over a year. She is much younger than me. Seen some miraculous things happen on her side. But man have I suffered enduring these changes. I Ching kept telling me to hang in there with this girl in the midst of all the turmoil and suffering.

I called her out on some stuff she had been doing, unusual behavior, and we have had several arguments and not talking much now. Keep getting this gut feeling she's hiding something from me, but my gut is wrong alot)) Could just be my insecurity and fears. So I asked "Does she still love me?" Got
41 3,6 to 11

What? The 3's a crowd line? So I then asked "Does she have another man?" Got
4 unch

Then asked "Is she deciding between 2 men?" Got
26 6 to 11

And finally, asked "Is she having an affair?" Got
52 3,6 to 2


Anyone trust their intuition on these answers? I dont have confidence in my emotions and reasoning abilities right now.
 

Tohpol

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Much younger, long distance...ugh. Two criterion that seldom bring long term happiness I'm afraid. But miracles do happen I guess... The following is obviously a snapshot of your no-doubt complex situation so simplifications aside:

Does she still love me?

41.3.6>11

Decreasing. What is decreasing? Love or your doubts? Well, line 3 is about a re-ordering of beliefs, concepts and ideas. Or more literally it can mean a trio becoming a couple. Will it be you that leaves? Her? Or is there another party involved as you suspect? Above all this line is about finding balance. What does that say to you? How can balance be achieved in your thoughts and actions? Perhaps she is seeking this balance too.

Line 6

This is the point of the cycle that might be moving into increase. How can you further develop what you're learned without exploiting anyone's energy? There's a real choice available here depending on clearly you see all your options and whether you choose the idea of "getting what you want" or being of service to a higher ideal. (What is best for her and therefore me?) There is the idea of persistence to an ideal and therefore enriching those "below" you.

41 can be seen as a pairing with 42 increase. So, things are on the decline as a natural cycle - the inbreath to the outbreath. But overall with hexgram 11 as the background the advice is to remain at peace and sense the natural time-span existing in such interactions. How will you work with potential - the flow that has been created between you? Do you fight for her or let her go? These are the kinds of questions that the "peace" in 11 often wants us to ask in my experience.

Does she have another man?


Hexagram 4 Ignorance / Youthful folly.

The I Ching is either reflecting your ignorance on this matter - not knowing. Or it could reflect the ignorance of youth i.e. youthful folly...

Is she deciding between 2 men?

26.6>11


Well, as to whether your suspicions are well founded I'm not sure but 26.6 is the place of choice, decision - a crossroads if you will; how one decides what one will do with accumulated energy. This could be referring to your younger lover's choice between two suitors or it may denote the crossroads you feel have come to in your own mind. It could be both. Either way, it seems there's a lot of creative energy about and both of you are reaching "heaven's highway" in some way or another. You cannot really halt that flow you just have to try and surf it, like a wave. Go with it and see where it leads.

Is she having an affair?

52.3.6>2

There does seem to be some kind of change afoot. 52 is about stifling energies and resisting their natural flow. It's very much associated with meditation and adopting a frame of mind that would facilitate tranquility in the face of anything but.

Line 3: I think here, the Yi is telling you that you are placing your heart and feelings under pressure and you're creating a malestrom of tension. You're getting stuck. Let things flow again. How can you do that? Be calm, open and honest about your feelings. Have you talked about this?

Line 6: You wrote that you didn't have much confidence in your emotions and reasoning abilities. Understandable. Well, this line has very much been about self-acceptance for me. And that means transmitting a confident and open attitude. She may not be having an affair so what's to worry about? But if she is, this confident attitude full of integrity can only serve both of you. Above all, be the real deal and don't project something you think she'll like. As you attain that peaceful centre that 52 is all about, you'll realise that there is no NEED here only service, cycles and the realisation that nothing ever lasts forever.

It seems you've really helped each other grow. And if it's meant to be so a while longer than she'll stay with you, not an image of you. If not, then it's all part of natural time limit.

Good luck. Hope that helps a bit.
 

Tigercat

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You are awesome topal! Such a well written and thought out reply, thank you. I see you know the true meaning of "service"))

Turns out I Ching was talking about her in all the questions I asked. I asked another question "What or who is the third wheel in Hex 41?" It was a situation that she has to make a decision about, a trip she wanted to go on that was interfering and coming between us by disrupting our already made plans. And she was agonizing and being very anxious and frantic about it.
 

Tigercat

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And hex 4 was for both of us, me for asking something I should not even ask because she has been faithful as hell to me, I should not even doubt that. And to her for wanting to do this trip with her friends on a whim and not being practical, youthful folly.
 

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