Attraction

[Lodestar]

Ok this is a very sensitive subject.. but I'm going to brave it and ask about it. Be easy on me please..

'Looks' - My conundrum is I have a Very poor self-image, sometimes it's unbearable. Yet I seem to always have men interested in me and it doesn't seem to be abating as I get older. I always mess it up as I am usually unconvinced that particular guy could really be attracted to me, worse again if they are successful or if I find them attractive, so I push them away, or I interpret their interest as just friendliness.

I'm not sure what to ask, maybe I could ask better questions! But I'll try these.

Why all the attention? 64uc
Mission yet unaccomplished.. I am somehow sending a message that I'm still looking..for the right one..
Because I am not in any rush to join forces...perhaps that creates the effect..

Maybe a better question is, why do I get so many propositions? (I cover up, I don't wear make-up) 46.2-15

What is my best approach to over coming my feelings of being ugly? 61.2.5-27

Will I ever be able to have my photograph taken without it feeling traumatic? 15 uc

Once again, this is a sensitive area. I know lots of people don't feel confident in this area, but for me it has been a really serious barrier, crippling.

 

[Tim K]

I have the same feelings about my 'looks', probably since high school.
I used to avoid all large mirrors, except small ones like in a bathroom where you can only look at the face. While getting my hair cut I never looked at the mirror.
Ideal images of super humans from media paired with lack of self-esteem and there you have it: a person who thinks he is unworthy of attention because he doesn't look as good as a latest movie star.

But as the time goes my insecurity has almost vanished. I know that I'm unique and I don't have to be like 'them'.

Take heart Lodestar, the men are interested in you and that is great! Without make-up and regardless of age, that is awesome. So why push them away then?

Why all the attention? 64uc
You seem incomplete without a partner

Why do I get so many propositions? (I cover up, I don't wear make-up) 46.2-15
Excellent comment by Wilhelm:

46.2 → 15 (Humility), Wilhelm:
If one is sincere,
It furthers one to bring even a small offering. No blame.

Here a strong man is presupposed. It is true that he does not fit in with his environment, inasmuch as he is too brusque and pays too little attention to form. But as he is upright in character, he meets with response, and his lack of outward form does no harm. Here uprightness is the outcome of sound qualities of character, whereas in the corresponding line of the preceding hexagram it is the result of innate humility.
They are attracted by your character qualities, by your inner world - and that is important.

Best approach? 61.2.5 - 27
Excellent lines again

61.2 → 42 (Increasing), Richmond:
A crane calls in the shade. Its young follow. I have a fine goblet to share with you.
Inner self radiates the light that touches others and they respond. Understand this. Looks are superficial.

61.5 → 41 (Decreasing), Legge:
Shows its subject perfectly sincere, and linking (others) to him in closest union.
There will be no error.
Substance is important, be sincere and that's enough.

Hidden hex 42.5 → 27 (Nourishment), Richmond:
If you come from the heart and do not question, greatest good fortune.
Genuine involvement is the virtue recognized.
no comment

Will I ever be able to have my photograph taken without it feeling traumatic? 15 uc
I think yes, believe in yourself more. Stop comparing your image with others. Find solace that you are unique and bring something new into environment (visually). If all people were the same it would be really boring

 

[Lodestar]

Thanks Ashteroid!

I guess the thing I hear over & over is that men are 'visual' - but this is probably a massive over-simplification and men, just like women, are attracted on a huge mix of levels that makes up the mysterious magnetism of two people being attracted. Perhaps the whole 'man drops older wife for younger model', will disappear as women gain more power and confidence and those type of men get less complacent.

I think I have gravitated towards vain and shallow men. My issue. Recently I've been meeting a much better quality of man, invariably their intelligence makes them more sensitive and in search of more profound relationships. Perhaps the future is not so grey.. next I'll try to stop running from them!

 

[Tim K]

men are 'visual'

Of course beautiful[purely subjective] woman is attractive, but that's it - attractive.
If there are no other levels of connection - probably the relationship won't get far than a couple of dates.

Recently I've been looking for warm winter boots, I think I've tried about 50 pairs over a course of 2 months.
Looks are great but in boots - the main thing for me is comfort. However fancy, expensive and trendy they are, if they don't fit perfectly - I won't buy them.
In the end I bought warm sneakers, rather cheap, made in China by license from Ireland brand. They have a thick soft fur-like padding inside, covering all the surfaces. My feet are happy

 

[Lodestar]

Yes - love, connection...they are feelings, they are experiences.

The wise, like you in your boot search, select the correct 'experience provider'

Thanks for your time Asteroid :bows: