Back to basics for a relationship

[Grandma]

Hi I asked the I ching, Am I sabotaging(sp) myself from having a romantic relationship. I now realize it was worded as a yes or now, probably should have asked how.
Anyway the answer I got was 30, 1.2 to 35.
Does anyone have any insight as to how to interpret this? Also can anyone help me word my question better? Thank you

 

[Grandma]

Help can anyone help?Please

 

[yly2pg1]

You get 30.1.2 ->50, right?

 

[yly2pg1]

Also can anyone help me word my question better?

Hmm ... you mean your right man is knocking your front door now? Ask him where is the flowers ...

 

[jerryd]

Susan perhaps it's time to drop the coins and listen to you heart and head? Make a mistake if necessary but if this happens you also learn from it. And yess ask for some chockies also.

 

[frank]

Hi Susan,

Instead of joking around I can try to help you, right :-D? Hexagram 30 could in this case mean two things: cut the knot from the past and move on to the future (go from one group / person to another), and / or try to get attention towards your way of clinging. Why do you cling to this situation... Lines 1 & 2 changes the hexagram towards 35, which is a good thing as that means progress. I type this from work and can?t get an I Ching translation that fast, so I do not know by memory what the lines are literly telling you, but both lines make Hexagram 19 as a ??n between hexagram?. 19 means aproaching someone (yourself?) in this case. Confront yourself with why you are involved, clinged, etc, and that should give an insite...

I do not know what exactly your question was towards the Yi, so I can?t help you (yet) in getting the question better, as I do not know what you want to know :-D...

Hang in there.

Hug,
Frank

 

[lightofdarkness]

Susan, I think the focus may be to consider the event that led to you asking the question you did! I have updated the proactive IC page - try it out on that event and let us know how you go:

http://www.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/lofting/icplusProact.html

Chris.

 

[luz]

I think you are getting 30.1.2 to 50, not 35.
Unless you got 3.1.3 -> 35
Maybe you want to clarify.
Or maybe you want to rephrase the question.
Without knowing what prompted you to ask the question, it's kind of difficult to know.
Is there a person in particular?
Or maybe you feel that your attitude is preventing you from connecting with people or from keeping people interested in you?
From what I hear, good questions can start as "What do I need to know....?", or "What should be my attitude....?" and so forth.
I hope this helps.
Get back to us, sometimes people don't respond to questions at first but they might still respond.

 

[luz]

I meant 30.1.3 -> 35

 

[Grandma]

Thanks for the help, it was 30 1,3 changing to 35 that I got. I haven't had a relationship since my divorce 10 years ago. I feel that when I'm attracted to a guy I have to run away. It's too scary.
That is good advice about being willilng to make mistakes etc and make sure I'm being treated right. But I can't get to the step where a guy I like asks me out, and I think it's some message I'm giving off. I feel I have trouble connecting with people.
Frank I guess you are saying why do I cling to my single state?
Thanks fokr the help.

 

[luz]

I am very new at this, I really hope more experienced people come to help you. But in the meantime, in my opinion, with the translation I have available right now, what I think that you seem to be pretty hung up in the past, your divorce and whatever bad experiences you had with all that.
You have to work on your fears, only you can do that. As an answer to your question I would say it is 'yes', you are sabotaging your prospective relationships. I'm not sure the answer includes advice on what to do about it. Maybe you want to ask about that.
Now, leaving the yi aside, just looking at your posts, you say that you feel like you need to run away when you are attracted to somebody and then you wonder if you are giving off some sort of message. You need to decide what it is you want to do first: a) get over your fears or b) find a way to hide them. The logical answer would seem to be a) but I'm not so sure. Maybe if you work on b) and you can get past the difficult phase of just going out with somebody that you actually like, you might find yourself at ease.
In any case, good luck and I would suggest you do consult the Yi some more.

 

[candid]

This seems like an acceptance/rejection issue. Line 1 speaks of [you] turning back when meeting with no confidence. Line 3 refers to a sense of desperation, in which case you are aware of something that is not quite ready to venture into a serious relationship. Progress is made by letting your light shine, holding to your enduring core values. From this, confidence is developed and your fear and inhibition become neutralized, allowing for a natural approach to and from others.

 

[frank]

Hi Susan,

Reading that the answer was 30.1 & 3 towards 35 (as there should have ringed a bell in my head for knowing lines 1 & 2 doesn't make 35...), my story about 19 is totaly off line. But the clinging story isn't. In my humble opinion the Yi is asking you, by giving you hexagram 30 as an answer, about the situation you are asking him / her about and why you cling to that situation. Reading about the anxiety of running from a relationship, I wander if the Yi means why you are clinging towards the fright of being in the relationship you are asking the Yi about. Lines 1 & 3 as changinglines makes 36 as 'in between hexagram' which is giving you the confrontation of dealing with your own individuality. So yes, perhaps the question could also be about your single state, and where you are afraid of... But most of all, the texts in the lines, as I'm home now and can read it from my books (as I can't read it from the internet as well as I'm on the job... :-D) are telling me that you feel yourself trown between different options and you do not know which one to take, but you walk anyway (line 1). Just keep on walking, as that makes things clear anyway too... And do not try to sigh so much as an old lady (line 3), 'cause that is feeding your emotions in a negative manner. By walking and keeping the emotions under your thumb (be the boss over them, instead of a slave of them...) you will get clarity, as 30 is Fire, light into darkness, bright sunlight, getting things in a clear state of mind.

Hope it helps, and again... Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank

 

[frank]

Hi Susan,

Another thought:
After the lines changed you get 35 ofcourse, which is also Fire above Earth: Clarity above Acceptance... Perhaps this is realy about your acceptance of the things you realy want in life. Are you afraid of giving up the single state...? Are you afraid of loosing your freedom...? Are you afraid of being hurt again in a new relationship...? Just some questions you can watch at... Get things clear, and do not be afraid to get the highest attention to your own individuality, as what do YOU want... Be proud of yourself and your own needs, and look further to forfill them :-D.

Again: Hang in there, dear!

Hug,
Frank

 

[Grandma]

Oh I think I got in insight after reading everyone's commentaries. I think I act always in a hurry, my mind races, like in conversations I can barely listen to people in the moment as I'm so self conscious about making a good impression (this is w/ almost anyone) So I think this racing around (line 1) leads to my regret and sighing (line 3) and just being aware that this is a problem is progress.
I never could figure out what line 3 in 30 meant, thanks for telling me.
Also, Frank, is that advice about "Get things clear, and do not be afraid to get the highest attention to your own individuality, as what do YOU want... Be proud of yourself and your own needs, and look further to forfill them " is that your own common sense advice or did you get that from 35? Either way it is very good advice for me.
I think I need to think about this some more before I ask a follow up question.
One of the other benefits of this site is it makes me really ponder the hexagram before askinfg another question. Thanks everyone

 

[candid]

There are other interpretations for 30.3, such as using small events as reasons to celebrate. I don't agree with it, but I could be wrong.

 

[jte]

"I never could figure out what line 3 in 30 meant, thanks for telling me"

Just a reminder, it's an emblem/metaphor that can mean different things in different contexts. (Of course, if the help you got here helps you understand your reading and the "core" meaning of the emblem generally, that's still good.)

Just thought I'd pipe in...

- Jeff

 

[Grandma]

Yes Candid, I think it could mean that also. Like I don't notice small compliments. Or build my confidence on small things instead of thinking in terms of neagatives cause a big thing hasn't happened.
I know Jeff they all mean something different in different connotations. Thanks

 

[Grandma]

just read commentary on image in wilhelm and I think that could mean meeting more and more people.

 

[Grandma]

oops, for 35 I meant

 

[frank]

Hi Susan,

I just looked at 30 and saw the word ?clinging?, then I watched the lines changes together as hexagram 36, which has the concept of individuality and then I read hexagram 35, wich is progress, and together with some common sence, inspired by these entrances, i made the suggestion as i posted here. I?m glad it?s good advice :-D. And good for you that you get a better picture about the words the lines are telling you!

Hug,
Frank