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Bad luck again in the reading. I just hate my life

nykkic

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Hi everyone ... please help me with this reading. My boyfriend and I have quite an age difference but we are happy now. So I asked the I Ching if that age difference will interfere with our relationship one day and I got:


56.2.5 > 44


what a bad reading ... please correct me if I am wrong but 56 says I am a traveler and he is not the man I will stay with.... LINE 2 says we have a good relationship now but LINE 5 says there will be another partner in my life one day ... and 44 as a resulting Hexagram confirms there is no long term chance for us


I am so depressed cos in spite of the age difference we have a wonderful relationship although he now moved to another country but we travel and meet all the time



PLEASE HELP ME UUNDERSTAND THIS READING COORECTLY ... I AM SO EXTREMELY DEPRESSED NOW :(
 

Liselle

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From Hilary Barrett's book:

56.2
‘Traveller comes to a resting place,
Cherishes his own,
Gains a young helper.
Constancy.’

56.5
‘Shooting a pheasant,
Gets it with one arrow.
And so in the end, praise and a mandate.’

Nykkic, don't be depressed :hug:. I actually don't think there's anything depressing about this reading. Hexagram 56 can mean "travelling," sure, but I don't think it necessarily means moving on this instant.

I can't say I know exactly what this means, but I definitely don't think it's horrible news. 56.2 might mean that this is a lovely "resting place" in your journey of life (apologies for the horribly cliched phrase.). 56.5 might be saying that this relationship is a "mandate" for you and your boyfriend - something that is meant to be. Shooting it with one arrow could mean something like concentrating on it, making it your focus, rather than worrying about what might happen sometime in the future.

A life is a long time. There might be another partner in your life one day. That doesn't mean this one is no good - I think the reading says quite the opposite :).
 

jzy369

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I also don't think this is bad. However, when I get this reading, my interpretation method is use 56-5 as the prime answer, supplemented by 44-2. Such convention is used by many Chinese IC augury book.

in 56-5, it just says you are traveling away from your home territory, like in an exile. You were shot, but you survived and your attacker loss an arrowhead (in ancient time, arrowhead is hand-made thus very valuable. In this case, you were wounded but you gained an arrowhead). Furthermore, the Chinese text does say you will ultimately restore your formal glory.

For 44-2, the text advocates you handle the situation at hand gingerly, and don't show off, like wrapping a fresh-caught fish.

Reading the two texts, my take away is your situation may be non-conventional so may be susceptible to critical comments/actions, but the criticizers themselves will pay their due as well, and you will ultimately restore "formal glory". But situation at hand does need to be carefully nurtured.

My understanding is that IC is never "deterministically fortune-telling". Future is just a probability of current development assuming all involved parties exercise normal rational behaviors. Otherwise, many so called "bad reading" wouldn't still contain encouraging words to move forward.
 

nykkic

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I was thinking that maybe Hexagram 56 is the '' journey of life'' (my life) ...

..oh and yes ... yes I am also traveling ... traveling with him to his country all the time .. and yes 56.2 is nice and so is 56.5 ... BUT WHAT REALLY SCARES ME IS THE RESULTING HEXAGRAM 44



and last but not least of couse thank you 1000 times Lisa and jzy369 ...bless you both
 

Liselle

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Hi Nykkic,

I don't have any bright ideas about hexagram 44 as the relating hexagram in this reading specifically, but 44 is not always bad. No hexagram or line is always bad. I can understand why you'd be wary of it, since often it refers to an experience that is difficult to handle. But again, that doesn't necessarily mean it's bad.

A positive side of hexagram 44 might be that your relationship with this man is an intense encounter that's meant to change you. That could be for the better. Or it could mean that something about this relationship will transform you in a necessary or constructive way, maybe without being particularly comfortable to live through. (An imperfect analogy might be losing your job and having to find another one - a highly intense, unpleasant, disruptive experience. But a person could be fortunate, and end up with a new job that's better than the old one, or at least is a stepping-stone to important, necessary changes in their life.) You may not see the changes immediately - in other words, it could be a long-term thing, but when you look back on it later on in your life, you might see how a hexagram 44 "encounter" fit into your story.

Also, remember that the relating hexagram is not the outcome of the situation, it's the backdrop. It might simply reflect the fears that drove you to cast the reading in the first place. And, the relating hexagram is not the direct answer to your question, the moving lines are. In this reading, the moving lines are positive, I think.

Plus, you've said that your relationship is happy. I think that's important! Maybe try to enjoy it, and not worry about whether it's going to last in the long term. If and when it ends, you might find you're ready to move on - an end doesn't have to be a bad thing. I think the reading is encouraging you to just be happy with it now.
 
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nykkic

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oh this 44 is driving me nuts cos it could mean that our relationship will be a bad transitory thing .. it scares me so much
 

Liselle

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But the lines - the actual answers to your question - were neither "bad" nor scary, in my opinion - far from it. The hex 44 is how you relate to things. If it's about the relationship, an intense, transformative relationship (if this is even that, which we don't know) isn't necessarily "bad."

It's also possible that 44 might reflect your internal fears, as you're expressing them here, and not the actual relationship.

If you'd gotten hexagram 44 as an unchanging hexagram, we might be saying something different - we might be telling you to be careful, or not "grasp" this relationship at all. But you did not get 44uc. You got 56.2.5, with 44 as the relating hexagram.

It's interesting that you think a "transitory" relationship is a "bad" relationship - I don't think that's necessarily true. Sometimes people marry the first person they ever date, and remain happily married for the rest of their lives. That's lovely! But good relationships can happen in many ways.

As long as you're happy with this man, don't be so scared. I saw your other thread, in which you said someone told you he was cheating on you, and then you posted with great relief and delight that you know he's not. So that's one reason NOT to be scared, right?
 

moss elk

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Hi,
Is this the same boyfriend you broke up with last January?
 

nykkic

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oh no no Moss Elk ..!!! ... This one is a new boyfriend whom I met in October :)
 

nykkic

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P.S: .. oh my god Moss Elk ... remember how you explained my 53.2.5 >18 to me in January?? ... you were right on spot ... I did meet someone new who truly shows me love and affection ... wow .. just wow .. your explanation of my January reading was spot on ... it took a long time time (18 .. 3 days..3 days)
 

rosada

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Will the age difference interfere with our relationship one day?

44. The Marrying Maiden says you are asking a question that is very very broad. The hexagram represents the Universe of possibilities and especially the unknown fears we try to protect ourselves from and yet as we see in line 44.5 even in such a world of scary unknowns, unplanned perfect love can fall in our laps.

The hexagram and lines of 56.2.5 The Traveler seem to me to be advice to you for the right attitude to take as you two travel together. You both have had many journeys before you met and you will have many more after you part but in the time in-between, be it a week or 50 years or 50 lifetimes, you need not have a negative experience - if you remember the advice of 56.2 and 56.5, which is to be reasonably self sufficient and useful (certainly it is easy to fall back into childlike dependency when the partner is older and more experienced) .

rosada
 
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nykkic

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after we part? .. oh god rosada.. the 56 says we will part? .. that is my biggest fear :(
 

rosada

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I slightly tweaked my former post before I saw your comment so maybe I hadn't made myself clear so it might be clearer now.

Anyway I feel the I Ching is referring to the fact that we all are individual travelers in this life and that the age difference between you and your friend could interfere with your relationship simply because if he is much older there is a very strong possibility that he will "travel on" before you do - that is, that eventually you could out live him.

The other way the age difference might manifest is that you may be tempted to feel a sense of "Ah, I have connected with a wise older man who will now protect me and take care of me for ever and ever" and thus neglect your own path. 56.2 warns that we should not assume any place is our final resting place. 56.5 also seems to be warning you not to rely on your partner to heavily - not because he won't be there but because even though you have a buddy you still have your own development to attend to. And as I said in my earlier post, I think this comes up in response to your question about age because the very fact that he is older suggests he knows more and thus it could be particularly tempting to abandon your own self-developement and follow what ever he 's doing.

On the other hand, your own response to these posts seems to be intently focused on seeing negativity in the answers. I wonder if you should try a different approach and ask the I Ching what your unconscious seems to be trying to alert you to? Perhaps on an inner level you already know you are intending to leave this man which would explain why no amount of encouragement from the I Ching or the group here can dissuade you that it doesn't have to be like that

Rosada.
 

nykkic

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no no it is not him .. it is ME who is older than him
 

Liselle

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I think what Rosada is saying still applies (thank you for bringing this back to the question, Rosada :blush:). Just reverse it. An age difference doesn't always matter, but, sometimes it does. As Rosada said, if it's a long term relationship, the younger person might simply outlive the older person. Not always, but just going by life expectancy statistics.

Another way an age difference could affect things is if the two people, being at different stages in their lives, just end up wanting different things. The older one may have already done things that the younger one hasn't. The younger one may want or need to do these things, but the older one may not want to repeat the experience.

A classic example might be having children. The older one may already have children, or may have already made a decision that they don't want children. The younger one may want children. But the older one may not want to re-live the diaper years, or whatever.

It might not be children. It could be anything. A need to get an education (older one's done that, younger one still has it to do), living situation (older one might want to settle down and buy a house, younger one might want to be more mobile), jobs/work (older one may have a settled career, younger one may not know what they want to do).

Those are JUST examples - and rather cliched ones - so please don't take them too much to heart. It's just to point out that a substantial age difference may mean that the two people are on different timetables, and so they see the world differently. Sometimes it doesn't matter; sometimes it does.

I'd still say what I said in the first place about the reading - that this is a relationship you can be happy with for what it is now, you can make it your focus for now. If it doesn't last forever and ever, and if that is because of the age difference, maybe that is okay. Maybe it really is okay! Maybe that's how it's supposed to be, in the grand plan - how the two of you are meant to help each other along in your lives.
 

nykkic

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oh I soo hope we can be forever ... just I was scared that 56 and 44 means there was NO chance for us to be together forever until one of us dies ...
 

Liselle

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Another thought - this may be a much simpler reading than I'm trying to make it.

It may just mean that you have literally "gained a young helper," (56.2), and that this relationship is for a particular purpose in your life, maybe just "one" purpose (56.5).

My point is that maybe that is exactly how it's supposed to be - that whatever time you'll be together, the relationship is fulfilling a purpose.

But that's just my interpretation. I'm not absolutely sure of it. I responded to this not because I thought, "Aha! I know what that means!," but more because I saw nothing in it that should depress you and cause you to hate your life :eek:. That was mostly what I was trying to get across at first.
 

nykkic

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oh I hope for that ...so much !! ... cos we are really good together ...
 

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