Bad luck or me?

[superstar]

I'm having some problems establishing a long term relationship. I'm attractive and there are opportunities but nothing ever comes out of it or sticks.

So I asked what are the chances of meeting someone to have a long term relationship with this year? I received Hexagram 41 unchanged which I interpreted to mean that I have to decrease something in order to increase something else. To clarify what it meant I asked:

What do I need to decrease in order to increase my chances for a long term relationship?

Hexagram 49 lines 1,3 and 4 changing into Hexagram 8

I searched the forum but found nothing to help me interpret the meaning. I'm wondering if someone can clarify things for me. Thanks!

 

[willowfox]

So I asked what are the chances of meeting someone to have a long term relationship with this year? I received Hexagram 41

What do I need to decrease in order to increase my chances for a long term relationship?

Hexagram 49 lines 1,3 and 4 changing into Hexagram 8

Hex 41 It doesn't look very good for any type of long term relationship, at least not this year anyway. Therefore it advises you to curb your desire for such a relationship for the time being and just let things be, otherwise you would give off the wrong signals and that would only draw the undesirables to you.

Hex 49 is about changes, changes in outlook, desire, attitude, decrease your "desperation", controlling one's urges. Therefore it appears that you need to decrease your sensitivity and your emotional side of your behaviour, as it suggests a tendency to get angry pretty quickly when people cross you. Also it suggests that you decrease your desires, to scale back your expectations, yes, you may indeed be attractive physically but are you attractive mentally, or are you just too demanding of the men that you meet.
Putting on airs and graces puts men off, but being straightforward, honest and open gains many followers. Do you have the tendency to feel superior to your dates, to perhaps boast about yourself, if you do, then stop, men don't like to be made to feel inferior or even insignificant or that they are obliged to do as you want.

Therefore a need for restraint in the way that you behave and act is perhaps needed in order for you to become more appealing to men.

 

[martinus]

"Shining through" each Hex. are the corresponding Fu Hsi's trigrams. So "behind" 49 there is "Waiting", 5. (and behind waiting there is "modesty") - meaning this is not the right time to "force" things.
Regards,
Martinus

 

[meng]

I don't fully understand Martinus' method but I arrive at the same conclusion.

I think 41 is saying, relax, don't try so hard to accomplish a relationship. Give up some of the passion for it to happen, and it opens the way to happen.

I see 49 lines 1,3 and 4 changing into Hexagram 8 as a change in the way to go about holding together with someone. Line 1 is clingy, line 3 is skeptical or requires proof before believing in someone. Line 4 changes the form of relationship building, and is met with trust.

 

[superstar]

Thanks everyone! Meng thanks for new perspective on 49!