being supportive while retreating 33.4

[literunner]

Hello, I would like to share and get input on some readings, not sure I'm getting all the nuances.

The person I'm with is undergoing some hefty life issues and has let me know they are overwhelmed and can't be there for the relationship right now which is totally understandable. I sent a note of support saying so (we live in different cities).

I asked the Yi for advice last week about my proper action and got: 33.4>53

Perhaps retreating is the support to offer here, which takes the burden off my partner to have to "manage" our relationship. Seems like a loving retreat to me.

I also got 42.5.6>24 about how best to proceed which seems to confirm that offering kindness from the heart without thought of return and keeping away from actions that might be irritating (anything not heartfelt) leads to a return to normalcy.

Today asked about the present status of the relationship and got 13.1.5>56 which seems to say truth must be present for a good union at the beginning and we are bound in the heart and will get through difficulties--the question I have is about hex 56--does it mean we are traveling alone for the moment? It's true we are separated by distance. Or that we are not in the same "fold" right now? It seems not so united to me...?

I also asked: show me X's position in the relationship now and got
48.2.4>31 which I took to mean "the source" is not useful right now, but is being repaired in the background.

Any other insights to these readings?
Thank you for the help...:bows:

 

[bamboo]

You seem to have done a great job in understanding your readings. The only thing I see in 56 might indicate the transition and emotional distance needed now...but 13.5 is a lovely line indicating a separation that is probably not permanent.

 

[willowfox]

I asked the Yi for advice last week about my proper action and got: 33.4>53

Line 33.4 says to take time out voluntarily, go off and relax some place while she sorts her head out because its going to take time for you to grow on her, so take it slowly, as rushing will burn the cake. So, it has nothing to do with support but rather her slowly coming to the realization that she needs you.

 

[willowfox]

Today asked about the present status of the relationship and got 13.1.5>56

The present status is one of distance but we know your feelings, and her's seem to be on a par with yours these days, at least in spirit anyway but there are still many problems to be sorted out.
As I said before it will take time, so use no forcible means now, just show that you are the good guy that you profess to be by radiating your true and sincere feelings to her, with a gentleness of behaviour, and a carefulness of speech.

 

[literunner]

Thanks!

You seem to have done a great job in understanding your readings. The only thing I see in 56 might indicate the transition and emotional distance needed now...but 13.5 is a lovely line indicating a separation that is probably not permanent.

Bamboo,
Thank you for the insight and confirmation on my readings -- and for your take on Hex 56 in this case--I often get confused by this Hex. I think you're right about Hex 56 in this case, how it's reflecting the need and reality of the separation, which seems will be temporary, and is supported by my other readings (retreat with love).

I'm taking the advice (everyone's responses seem to agree ) and thanks again for your insights and support.

:bows:

 

[literunner]

That does sound right, WF...

Line 33.4 says to take time out voluntarily, go off and relax some place while she sorts her head out because its going to take time for you to grow on her, so take it slowly, as rushing will burn the cake. So, it has nothing to do with support but rather her slowly coming to the realization that she needs you.

Thank you WF,
Somehow that really feels correct to me. It does feel like she needs to come to that realization.
I think I was having problems with appearing to "desert" someone during a dark period, but when I read your note, it seems she is not asking for support in the first place; which fits what you're saying. She doesn't yet realize she needs it
I actually have a trip I need to take in the coming weeks so maybe it would be a good idea now :bows:

 

[literunner]

Retreat and also stay connected?

The present status is one of distance but we know your feelings, and her's seem to be on a par with yours these days, at least in spirit anyway but there are still many problems to be sorted out.
As I said before it will take time, so use no forcible means now, just show that you are the good guy that you profess to be by radiating your true and sincere feelings to her, with a gentleness of behaviour, and a carefulness of speech.

WF, just to clarify: the advice is to retreat, go off with my own diversions, let my partner take the time needed to realize I'm someone of benefit; but, do I stay connected and available then, with love and gentleness? Just a bit unclear how to consolidate the two methods of acting. Let her initiate all contact and be responsive in a loving way, but otherwise go off and relax (which will actually help me have more to offer)?

>>>Also, does 45.4>8 support this line of thought? I've received it a couple of times in relation to most beneficial thing for our relationship at present.<<<

 

[willowfox]

What it suggests is don't keep bugging her, but sure phone now and again, to pass the time of day about trivial things and tell her know that she can always rely on you if she has a problem etc. Simply don't force things on her, and just act sincere without being clingy. She needs time to think, and thus decide what she wants to do in "her" own good time.

I think I told you last year or the year before, you just got to be patient.

 

[literunner]

Patience is a virtue

What it suggests is don't keep bugging her, but sure phone now and again, to pass the time of day about trivial things and tell her know that she can always rely on you if she has a problem etc. Simply don't force things on her, and just act sincere without being clingy. She needs time to think, and thus decide what she wants to do in "her" own good time.

I think I told you last year or the year before, you just got to be patient.

Ah, yes. Give 'em space to get a clearer perspective on what they want, while remaining near with love. At present she's overwhelmed with financial and family problems and is feeling drained. That's why I was hesitant to retreat. But you're right, she's asked for space, not help. Thank you for clarifying :bows:

 

[willowfox]

At present she's overwhelmed with financial and family problems and is feeling drained.

Personal problems can sometimes mean exactly that, personal.

 

[literunner]

very apt

Personal problems can sometimes mean exactly that, personal.

Yes that fits X's personality very aptly, you're spot on. Thank you for adding.

 

[literunner]

update

Hello,
Have been following the advice and had a brief exchange with my partner but silence since then.

I got 31 unchanged in regard to some "how best to bond and/or further now" questions (cuz I feel disconnected). Would this mean being receptive and persevering in correctness whether influences are good or bad? Or to make more contact (not be so distant)?
Wondering how it might play in with my other readings or if it calls for something different?

 

[willowfox]

Stay committed and listen.