Blown away by online man, but is it beneficial?

[femke]

Dear everyone

After the end of a long term relationship, I've recently decided to start dating again. I feel ready for it. Subscribed to a website. Within two days, I've found a man (or he has found me) and now, 3 days later, we have been chatting for 6 hours or so altogether. I love his wits, his text, his eagerness. But I also feel there might be problems: he can be pushy, and physically he's not the type I'd usually feel attracted to. But oh boy, our texting..

In the beginning of the contact, I asked I Ching about him:

what is beneficial with regards to A.?

And got: 9, lines 1 and 4 changing (to 44).

Well, I feel 44 alright. It scares me, because it's so strong. Addictive! Do you think Yi is indicating there will never be a marriage from this contact? I know I'm thinking quickly, but it's going quickly between us and I feel myself being pulled into this enormously. Haven't felt like this for 6 years.

During the process, I asked Yi again (because I felt myself slipsliding away and was scared):

day 2: I lose myself in contact with A, what is beneficial now?
14, 1st line moving to 48
What is the potential between A and me?
41, 2nd and 5th line moving to 42.

I appreciate help from less clouded and biased people than myself!! Thanks, love Femke

 

[Trojina]

Non biased answers ? You'll never get that from me I'm afraid. How can you possibly think of marrying someone you never met ? You don't even know someone till you meet them, not really. You hear their words, what they write and say but all that is chosen by them. They present themselves to you in ways they want you to see them. But if you meet someone you feel their energy...you know who they are in a way you cannot by purely online contact.

Didn't understand the question for 9.1.4>44 but it looks like you could rein yourself in a little. Just remembering you don't know anything about him except what he tells you should help.

14.1 again I do not understand your question re what is beneficial....but again I feel all is well if you take some care, have some restraint.

Potential 41.2.5>42 well I don't know. 41 advises you to 'decrease passions'. You see whilst he is not there with you all your feelings will be whirling around in your own head and not much connected to the actuality. Women are really good at falling passionately in love with someone who isn't even there. Well he is there but you don't know him. He may be married, he may have a family. You have to think about these things because people on the internet can say anything about themselves.

So I feel you can continue to get to know him and talk to him and so on but also perhaps just quieten yourself a little and find your footing at a steady pace. That is what I feel both 9 and 41 point to.

 

[kincadefoster]

Dear everyone
...physically he's not the type I'd usually feel attracted to...

I would second this, you gotta meet someone to know, and especially to know what you're overall attractiveness for him will be. I don't know about you, but after many years of people's games, I'm more attracted to those who treat me good...

 

[femke]

Thank you Trojina.

By "what is beneficial" I mean: what is in accordance with the greater good. I feel there's a way, a Tao, just sometimes I can't see it clearly. Than I consult the Yi.

Maybe I should have mentioned, we coincidentally have a mutual (to me somewhat distant) friend on Facebook. Also, I got lots of photos and data from him that are congruent. I believe he is who he says he is. But I agree, nothing is sure. And physical energy and feromones are not visible yet.

I know I have to restrain myself and take it slowly anyway. The path will unfold. I'm usually quite good at that. Not now, but I will aim for it.

Thanks.

 

[oponopono]

Dear femke,
I agree with Trojina on this one: you must meet the guy first!

day 2: I lose myself in contact with A, what is beneficial now?
14, 1st line moving to 48
What is the potential between A and me?
41, 2nd and 5th line moving to 42.

I appreciate help from less clouded and biased people than myself!! Thanks, love Femke

I also find that the readings are indicative of a need to pull back, not jumping to conclusions and therefore "engaging harmfuly" (14.1) and disentangling yourself from this contact first - that might later lead to an increase (42), but first you should step back and look at it for what it is. An avatar of someone!

Take care,
op

 

[femke]

Thanks Kincadefoster

I agree with you. I cannot know in advance if I'll be physically attracted to him or not. Thank you for that. And I do want someone who treats me right. That's a requirement.

It's funny, I never seem to have these kinds of doubts on any other field of my life, for instance my work and career, or friends, or where to live. But in matters of love, I feel my compass gets so clouded. The "small people" take over inside, "great (wo)man" nowhere to be found.

 

[femke]

Dear Oponopono

Thank you for your reaction. I don't like hearing I'd better pull back and disentangle myself, which is probably a good sign that it's just what I need to hear...

 

[femke]

Follow-up: when I took some distance online, he reacted as if stung by a bee. Irritated. This happened a few times and so I've decided we're no good for each other. When I told him this (in a gentle way), he got insulting. So thank you for the advice and interpretations on keeping a distance until more was clear!