break up or keep this relationship 29.3>48,32.4>46, 28.3>47

[sallybb]

Dear all,

could you help me these readings about the relationship?

with respect, what can I expect to keep working on this long-distance and open relationship?29.3>48

29.3 means that it is not good to be indecisive with hesitations back and forth. It is better to step back and wait or sort of pause the development of this relationship.

If I keep working on this relationship, the result is 48. But I don't understand what does it mean?

with respect, what can I expect that to terminate this relationship gradually? 32.4>46
32.4 "no game in the field" means right now in the relationship, it seems very empty and hollow. It seems not point to keep playing this game.
46 means stand up for myself and a good sign to terminate this relationship.

with respect, what can I expect that to stay in this relationship?28.3>47
28.3 it seems that the foundation of this relationship already "sags to the breaking point." The conditions of this relationship (long-distance, asked to become an open relationship, and other communication or environment and people) already start to break down and rotten.
47. to keep relationship will lead to exhaustion.

How to read that I got 46 and 47 in these related questions?

In my understanding, Iching is saying to break up rather than keep working on the relationship right?

I am new and thanks for any :bows:help

sally

 

[Trojina]

Dear all,

could you help me these readings about the relationship?

with respect, what can I expect to keep working on this long-distance and open relationship?29.3>48

29.3 means that it is not good to be indecisive with hesitations back and forth. It is better to step back and wait or sort of pause the development of this relationship.

If I keep working on this relationship, the result is 48. But I don't understand what does it mean?

Not sure what you mean in the question..if you mean what can you expect to keep going/be okay in the relationship...doesn't look like its a good thing to pursue really as if you stumble on the same problem over and over. 48 isn't the 'result' just the relating hexagram, can be context

with respect, what can I expect that to terminate this relationship gradually? 32.4>46
32.4 "no game in the field" means right now in the relationship, it seems very empty and hollow. It seems not point to keep playing this game.
46 means stand up for myself and a good sign to terminate this relationship.

Yes there seems no point in this. with one line movning that one line is paramount. i don't think 46 is that relevant. The answer is its pointless, nothing there, looking in wrong place

with respect, what can I expect that to stay in this relationship?28.3>47
28.3 it seems that the foundation of this relationship already "sags to the breaking point." The conditions of this relationship (long-distance, asked to become an open relationship, and other communication or environment and people) already start to break down and rotten.
47. to keep relationship will lead to exhaustion.

How to read that I got 46 and 47 in these related questions?

Seems there isn't enough to sustain this relationship. If its open and long distance does it have the commitment and care a relationship needs to thrive..nothing to stop it collapsing.

In my understanding, Iching is saying to break up rather than keep working on the relationship right?
I am new and thanks for any :bows:help

sally

Yes it seems to be saying that pretty loud and clear to me..

 

[sallybb]

Quote:
Not sure what you mean in the question..if you mean what can you expect to keep going/be okay in the relationship...doesn't look like its a good thing to pursue really as if you stumble on the same problem over and over. 48 isn't the 'result' just the relating hexagram, can be context

Yes, what I mean is to keep going/be ok in this relationship and work on some problems with the partner together. Could you explain how to read the hex 48 as a context? I am not sure how to read the relating hex in this case.

Quote:
Yes there seems no point in this. with one line movning that one line is paramount. i don't think 46 is that relevant. The answer is its pointless, nothing there, looking in wrong place

Could you explain more how to read hex 46 in this question? Or it only needs to read the changing line?

Thank you very much!:bows:

 

[Trojina]

Yes, what I mean is to keep going/be ok in this relationship and work on some problems with the partner together. Could you explain how to read the hex 48 as a context? I am not sure how to read the following hex in this case.

I mean the relating hexagram can be the background to the question. With one line moving the answer is fairly clear in that line, i think the relating hexagram is not very important for the purpose of your reading, when you have one line moving

Could you explain more how to read hex 46 in this question? Or it only needs to read the changing line?

Thank you very much!:bows:

Someone else might, i just don't think it matters much so I wouldn't give it much thought, i mean 32.4 is pretty clear. Infact focusing on 46 will probably take you away from the relevance of the answer...also I'm way too lazy to think about why 46 relates to 32.4 and these answers all indicate to me you'd be best to ditch this relationship...are you looking to the relating hexagram to indicate otherwise ? This means you don't want to end it..well you don't have to if you don't want to or aren't ready to ....its still totally your choice. I'm only giving my impressions of the answers, you have to go by your gut feeling too, thats important

 

[sallybb]

Thank you trojan,

I think I need some courage to follow my guts. I have been back and forth for so many times from last August. I am visiting my partner now for a month and these days I have a feeling that I really need to wake up and break up with him gradually, but I am so afraid that I will be like past several times, going back to him.

"with respect, what can I expect to find someone else really suit me?" is: 49.
It seems also suggested that I should break up with this partner and I will be on my own way to achieve some big transformations and meet someone else. right?


Thank you.

 

[Trojina]

Thank you trojan,

I think I need some courage to follow my guts. I have been back and forth for so many times from last August. I am visiting my partner now for a month and these days I have a feeling that I really need to wake up and break up with him gradually, but I am so afraid that I will be like past several times, going back to him.

"with respect, what can I expect to find someone else really suit me?" is: 49.
It seems also suggested that I should break up with this partner and I will be on my own way to achieve some big transformations and meet someone else. right?


Thank you.

Yes 49 means you can't put new wine into old bottles. Though the changes are big they aren't always sudden or uncomfortable with 49, more like an animal shedding its old winter coat. Maybe you need to rethink your whole approach to relationships, you sound a bit fearful of being alone..maybe you think hes better than noone ? If the relationship is long distance and open then you might ask yourself 'how much will i lose if i break with him anyway' because its my perception sometimes relationships this open are kept that way for the benefit of one party to keep the other hanging on, neither commiting and being fully there for them nor breaking up and letting them free to be with someone else. I think its a painful place (for the one hanging) to be in a relationship and after you've broken up (if you do) you may look back in time and realise you weren't getting much from it and never did need to agonise over it anyway.

Of course i don't know how it really is between you, how attached you are to him, but if he were making you happy you wouldn't be thinking of leaving him, and it seems to me your answers so far don't point to hanging on to make it work.

Of course another possibilty is if you tell him your're not happy and are thinking of breaking up perhaps he may change the things you don't like ? I just think the answers don't favour you continuing the way things are..something needs to change..could be breaking up or changing the terms of the relationship if thats possible. It seemed from previous answers its not worth you putting in any more effort...if he can make more effort to you then who knows....but i think you've probably already done everything you can to make this work..it looks unsustainable the way it is (28.3) and with 28 you need to get out before the roof falls in (metaphorically) Hmm also 28.3 doesn't really recommend gradually breaking up...seems more like "get out now" to me. This may be because the whole thing is draining you beyond the resources you have. Also 32.4 may be saying theres no profit in gradually breaking up, just move on (46). I think the 29.3 showed this relationships like treading water to keep from drowning, its not leading anywhere other than more struggle

 

[sallybb]

I am visiting my partner now for a month and just arrive several days.
While I am here, I am still working on my school things everyday. I have a very big deadline right after this visit. Also I don't want to make the following weeks become very painful.

Should I keep discussing some problems deeply and openly with my partner to clean off everything to move on? Or it is useless and wasting time and energy so I should just keep time for doing my works and let time and distance finish this relationship gradually. The later approach is what I thought would be better way to do.

I am not sure which way to break up with him. So I asked iching,

"with respect, what can I expect that just tell him directly let's break up?" is:18.2.3.5.6> 8


"with respect, what can I expect without saying it directly to him face to face when I visit him,but just after I go back to the country where I live, let the things gradually gone?" is: 18.4>50


It is very interesting that two questions were shared the same hex 18 Work on What Has Been Spoiled [Decay].
But I am still not sure which approach would be better in my situation. Does it say either way is fine?

Thank you!

 

[sophie]

Hello Sally

The first option is telling you that this would be the most compassionate and firm action to remedy the rot in your relationship, and would allow you to honour the best in both of you. If you choose this one, you are advised not to sway off course.

The second option appears to be the worst of the two to remedy this situation, as the slow evolution/degradation would make you both miserable.

Good luck :bows:

 

[sallybb]

Thank you !!
Yes,now I know what these two readings mean.
I will try to speak out all my feelings and thoughts and move on.
thank you for help