Can I trust him? 43.5 > 34

[professionalsky3]

I've been seeing someone and I asked I-ching whether I should trust him or not and I received 43.5>34 but I have no idea what to make of it.
Is he bad for me (weed) so therefore I should remove him from my life? I haven't seen any signs that he's shady yet and he seems to be a pretty decent guy.
I had horrible experiences with dates in the past but I'm still hesitant to trust other people I must confess, so perhaps this is telling me to cut off bad thoughts and be open to whatever it is that life has to offer me?
Thanks in advance.

 

[redoleander]

43.5 might be saying that you can't make a definitive blanket statement as to whether or not you can trust him, you'll need to assess each action and interaction on its own merit. If you're too aggressive about looking for signs of wrongdoing, you'll remove something that could yet continue to grow. However, if you're not thorough enough things could become out of balance. I've gotten this line when it's being suggested I be moderate and longevity-minded. Longevity could mean giving someone a chance but at times it could also mean realizing that this person of thing doesn't work in the long term. My guess is it's telling you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater but that doesn't mean place a label of "trustworthy" on them so you can set and forget. It's work, unfortunately (ha), with this line. Weeding takes caring and time and attention and sometimes is uncomfortable.

 

[GreenHazel]

​

Hi professionalsky3,

I fully share Redoleander view on your cast: both hexagrams speak about keeping a calm balance in assessing facts, without the use of aggressive measures (such as sharp judjments, being too opinionated, etc) but keeping resolute in uprooting shady weed from our lives.

From my (very personal) experience;
I have learned that when I'm attracted to someone new I have to take into account that unfortunately I'm attracted to unreliable/ toxic men, because they feel, look, and sound very familiar to me. So, I can relate to what you say and your doubts. Usually there's a very strong and quick attraction on both sides, which developes very quickly and the feeling that I know this person already. I also tend to ask the I Ching many questions like yours.

Hex 43 didn't bode well for me, and I had to eradicate the person from my life.

What I'm learning is to trust myself in the first place, my instinct, that sense of uneasiness and tension, my dreams, and to gently walk away if I feel it in my bones that it is not right. If you place yourself in this balanced place, knowing that you can always walk away if someone disrespects you, you won't lose valuable people because of fear and you won't lose yourself either, should they be less than trustworthy.