Choosing a therapist: is she the right one? 50.2.4 > 52, 56.4.6 > 15

[Flowing like water]

Hi Everybody,

Looking for a psychotherapist on line, my first one.
I did a lot of work on myself, mainly not a conventional one since I was 20. I'm 44 and practice kundalini meditation every day since 2 years. I did a lot of progress but I had a really difficult life, especially from 2 to 25 years old.
I would like to work with a psychotherapist (I found the method I would like to follow), but it's so hard to find the right one. To me it's a big investment, since I earn enough money to survive and few more. That's why I would like to start with the right one.

After searching a lot on the web, I was struck by the profile of one of them. Because she practices two methods, I both like. I contacted her by email, then we had a phone conversation. I liked approach and explanations. She didn't want to sell anything and was really nice. By her voice I could hear she was young. Since I started my research, I was looking for someone close to my own age or older (because of experience and ability to understand my needs).

She told me she is 34. I told her about my doubts, she didn't force in no way to choose her (she could understand me), at the same time she said she has experience with other older patients. She advised me to take my time and decide.
She is also not the cheapest one and I would go every two weeks. That's fine to her, it can work.

Some of my close friends I trust their opinion told me not to bother about her age, but to follow my feeling and instinct.
I feel I would like to try with her, at the same time I fear she might not be the right one. Because of the investment I'm gonna doing and not sure about the result.

I know we cannot know everything in advance, but I asked I-ching an advice for her as a therapist, what she could offer me.
Could you help me to interpret my casts? Because I'm not so expert....


1. Is she the right therapist for me to start my journey inside myself and deepen into my past? 50.2.4 52

The vessel looks to be the right place to look for that (inside myself), but not sure what the answer means, since line 4 speaks about pitfall. Stilling (hexagram 52) as the secondary hexagram doesn't make a lot of sense to me if related to my question. Should I not looking for external help? I wish I'm totally wrong...

2. What's about starting a therapy with her? 56.4.6 > 15
This reading is too difficult to interpret to me.
When I asked my question, I was thinking of what I can expect from a therapy with her, if it can satisfy my "expectations" (a way to solve some profound fears and blocks I'm still fighting with).

I wish she could be the right one. My instinct is saying to do that, but my mind is very worried about and I wonder if I should contact other therapists to have more feedbacks and then decide for the right one (even though I already spend time for my research and she was the only one I decided to contact, and I wish to start soon with someone...).

Thank you if you can help!

 

[foxx777]

These are tricky because she sounds very promising and outside of the castings I’d say give her a try. Yet this translation shows problematic areas.
Don’t really know what to make of it.

Is she the right therapist for me to start my journey inside myself and deepen into my past? 50.2.4 52
50. The Caldron
Line 2:
The caldron is filled.
My partner is sick, I am not.
Being able to go to eat brings good fortune.

The results of a transformation are available. One must however be in a state to use them, in order to reap the benefits.
(When you're sick, you may not be able to eat.)
Line 4:
A leg of the caldron gets bent.
The duke's meal is spilled,
and he gets wet.
Misfortune.
There is a problem so that the results of the transformational work are wasted. On top of that, it also causes further trouble. Things are not going well.
Hexagram is changing to:
52. Keeping Still
Keeping one's back still,
uncaught is one's self.
Walking in the courtyard,
not paying attention to the people.
Without fault.
Not doing something, being unmovable. One does not allow oneself to be influenced by others. This is not a mistake.

What's about starting a therapy with her? 56.4.6 > 15

56. The Traveler
Line 4:
The traveler has a place to stay.
He obtains some properties and an ax.
"My heart is not cheerful."
As a stranger, managing to get one's needs met, but not being really contented.

Line 6:
The bird burns his nest.
The traveling man first laughs, later cries and wails.
Losing the ox in the process.
Misfortune.
Carelessly destroying the place one had. At first it may not seem that bad, but when the consequences become clear that will be different. One loses what one had. Things don't go well.

Hexagram is changing to:
15. Humbleness
Humbleness.
Progressing.
The noble one brings things to a conclusion.

Being humble. This helps bringing things to a good end, as one is not in a position to make demands. There is progress.

 

[Freedda]

FLW, Looking at your first reading, Hex. 50 for me is about alchemy and the ingredients needed for transformation - just like you need fuel and fire to transform raw ingredients into a meal.

Stepping outside the Yi for a bit ... as to working with a therapist, I think it's largely about chemistry - often undefined: it either works or it doesn't - often regardless of sex, gender, age, race, class, etc. So far, it seems that you have the right 'ingredients': you like your initial talk with her, and she works with a method you want to work with. If it were me, I'd see about working with her for a few sessions - and even discussing that with her - to try out how it works for you.

The ingredients are there; you just need to see if the alchemy is too in order to make transformation happen.

I have a close friend who, for years, only wanted to work with another woman in therapy, but she then went to a male therapist, and said to me that she realized that's what she needed all along.

Another woman I know (not well) talked about how she had worked with a not-so-good therapist in college (the 'therapist' was a therapy student working for the student health clinic), but that years later she found a therapist that she really liked. She said that what made it work for her (as opposed to the first person) was this second therapist was the same race and nationality as her, so she could relate better to what she was going through. My thought was, hmmm, maybe so, but could it just be that the first therapist was just not very good (regardless of her race or age)?

So, maybe one notion here is that your 'ideas' about whom to work with might be (or need to be) overturned - just like the duke's meal in 50.4. And this might feel woe-ful at first, as therapy often does. After all, getting out of our patterns and places where we're stuck is usually not all that easy.

Anyway, that's at least one way to look at it.

Best, D.

 

[Flowing like water]

Dear Foxx777 and Freddda, thanks so much for your answers and advices.

I can see you both agree on giving a try to her, as I'm feeling too.
I totally agree it's not easy at all getting out of our patterns and places and I think I need to try and see.
I have no idea what expecting, I feel scared and excited at the same time.
Probably if I looked for someone else, I would have doubts as well till I don't really meet them and see what happens. Since she was nice and practices the two methods I potentially like, the best is to give a try.

If so, I'll let you know how it is progressing. It will take some time, but I wish to come back to you with my feedback.

 

[foxx777]

Dear Foxx777 and Freddda, thanks so much for your answers and advices.

I can see you both agree on giving a try to her, as I'm feeling too.
I totally agree it's not easy at all getting out of our patterns and places and I think I need to try and see.
I have no idea what expecting, I feel scared and excited at the same time.
Probably if I looked for someone else, I would have doubts as well till I don't really meet them and see what happens. Since she was nice and practices the two methods I potentially like, the best is to give a try.

If so, I'll let you know how it is progressing. It will take some time, but I wish to come back to you with my feedback.

Best wishes and would love to hear feedback.

 

[Flowing like water]

I wish to post my feedback about the therapist I found by my web search.
I first talked to her on phone, explaining my situations, needs and expectations. My doubts as well.
She welcomed my thoughts, she explained her methods and clarified my doubts. I felt happy with her answers and I decided to try.

Maybe it's still early to say if I could reach my goals (therapy for sure takes a quiete long time), but I'm very happy with her. I like her so much and she is very helpful. She has a different approach from what I thought a therapist could have. She is humble and simple and this helps me to focus better on my confusion.

We are not dealing with my past all the time: the first time she needed to know about my past and it was really painful to come back to it (especially later when I was alone in my place, I had a big crisis). Since then, we use to go into the past mainly when some current issue are connected to it and I spontaneously want to talk about. She doesn't force anything and we agree with working mainly on my daily life. Each time I come to one of my issues, she has good advices about how I can deal with them, mainly focusing on a different approach or reaction than what I used to do in the past. And this new point of view is presently helping me so much.

I'm very happy with her and I trust she can help me more and more. As she said, it's me doing the work, not her. But she is a wonderful medium to connect my real needs and how possibly face them.

I'm not sure how to interpret my previous casts. But for sure there was (and still there is) progress.