Complicated relationship, please help! Contradictory answers

[flor05]

Hello everyone,

As I mentioned in other posts, I have recently separated from my husband. I still hold hopes that things, given sufficient time, can work out between us.

I've been consulting the Yi online (there's a version online I like, were you "toss" the coins 6 times to get the hex) for several months now, but only now I'm getting a grasp of it (or at least trying!).

The other day, I used actual coins for the first time and really felt a better connection. I asked a series of questions about the possibilities of getting back together, how should I act, etc. All answers seemed pretty positive to me, and pointed me in the direction I feel is best: Waiting, not rushing into things and improving myself before attempting reconnection.

I know for a fact that my husband is seeing somebody else. However, I don't know the nature of this relationship and whether it will hold or not. And it is also the reason why I feel I have to wait for him to work things out on his own, it is definitely a situation I don't want to walk into. Anyway, I asked:

-Can you show me how the next few months will play out for their relationship?
And I got 12, unchanging.
I feel bad admitting this, but it made me happy.

A few days later, I decided to find out "when", so I could determine the best time to start -very slowly- making an approach. And here is were I made a real mess:

-How will it be tomorrow for the relationship between X and Y?
5 .4 > 43

-How will their relationship go between Nov 15 and Dec 1?
62 .2 .4 > 46

- How will their relationship go after Dec 1st?
32 .5 >28

It seemed everything was getting better for that relationship, so I didn't understand how "12" in my initial question had anything to do with it.

So I asked a final question.
-"I'm confused about this, I want to know what will happen with the romantic relationship between X and Y"
26 .4 >14

It seems things kept getting better for them everytime I asked. I'm sorry to post such a long question, but I'm puzzled. I know you shouldn't ask more than once, but I did it in a honest effort of understanding "when". To be honest, any of the "marriage" hexagrams scare me to death when they appear in question I ask about them.

Can any of you please help me out here? I really appreciate it.

 

[flor05]

Hi Trojan,

I saw a reply from you earlier, and for some reason is missing now (?). Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your input.

I know I shouldn't be asking about them. And it's true, the IChing seems to work best when we focus on "I" questions. But the reality is that I'm desperate and that's why I usually fall into temptation and ask a string of questions like above. And that's exactly what the IChing (and people around me too) is trying to make me understand, that desperation leads, if anywhere, away from what I actually want.
I tried asking another question, and I read it again now and I see it is flawed, but it is still a bit better:
"What is the potencial of a reconciliation with X (my husband)?"
I got 26 .4 .6 > 34

I guess it mimics my question? To me, these hexagrams are pure possibility, potencial. However, I think the changing lines seem quite promising. As if I were in the right track.

The problem about asking the status of things right now it that I know the answer. And I don't think is possible geting back together right now. I guess that what my questions are aimed at (and what I consciously want badly) is knowing that getting back together is still possible, hopefully in a few months.

Any further insights on any on my readings? They'll be much appreciated

(off topic: I haven't found the "thank you" botton!!! help!)

 

[Trojina]

Hi i deleted my post simply because i was suggesting you ask from your POV then realised you already had. Your 26>34 does look hopeful for reconciliation doesn't it. if 34 is the context of the question then its good to play everything above board, seems you do have a fair amount of influence and the 26 shows you are using this 'power' very wisely, you already have a good degree of emotional intelligence. Though you are probably plagued by very dark, angry thoughts you deal with them (26.4) and this makes you shine (26.6) Though you'd like to charge into this like a bull in a china shop you hold back and this restraint serves you well.

However its well to bear in mind Yis uum 'standards' are often different to ours especially re money and relationships What I mean is we have our view of what will make us happy and it doesn't always tally with the 'good fortune' the Yi refers to. For example this whole experience could be awful for you but also bring out your best qualities, emotional clarity, self control, self reliance. That may seem no consolation prize now but later down the path you may find it has enriched you.

I'm just mentioning that because I would not like to mislead by telling you for certain you will reconcile..and of course the future is not always set in stone alot depends on what we do...still having said that your answer does seem to favour potential for reconciliation . Interesting I only just noticed you used the word 'potential' in your question and that fits so well with 26.

Not sure, have you already asked something along the lines of how to react to, how to 'take' this situatoin between you and him ? I think you said you already asked such questions and the Yi counselled patience etc

Anyway sorry can't help much more than that. You seem to be handling things well and its my perception you do well to continue handling this the way you have been.

I hope it works out the way you want

 

[flor05]

Your 26>34 does look hopeful for reconciliation doesn't it. if 34 is the context of the question then its good to play everything above board, seems you do have a fair amount of influence and the 26 shows you are using this 'power' very wisely, you already have a good degree of emotional intelligence.

Thanks so much for your response, Trojan! It's funny, you mentioned "emotional intelligence" and I actually feel so far from that!
I'm normally a well-balanced, collected person (at least I think of myself that way), but lately I feel I'm all over the place. A total wreck. It's true, something good must come out of this.

In any case, thanks for taking the time, your input is much appreciated and made me feel a bit better.

Cheers,

Flor

 

[jenatl]

Hi Flor,

Not sure if you're still on this forum or not?? I found this post because I was looking for posts on Hex 4. At any rate, I was interested in your story because of your name - my last name is Flor

Wondering if things worked out for you and your husband. I hope you're happy either way

J. Flor