Confused about how to proceed after separation

[cornucopia63]

Hi Karpoork, here's my take on your concerns


1)what is going on? - 23 unchanging

You are both separated.


2)why is he not coming to me - 51.6 changing to 21

The disasterous events leading to your separation have caused widespread agitation for everyone. You went your own way and became the object of criticism and gossip. You did not handle the situation properly. You were not in a position to act aggressively. He doesn't feel it's up to him to put things right and let justice be done.

3)what are my feeling for him (i was so upset i thought it was necessary to know if i still love him even though i feel i do) - 33 unchanging

Your feelings are to withdraw from him.

4) what happens if i stop all communication - 8.5 changing to 2

You don't need to talk him into being with you. It's not necessary. He will act freely if he wants he will be with you or escape. You come in second. He doesn't see you as a priority in his life. He is passive about it.

5) does he want me back in his life - 38.1 changing to 64 (this one really troubles me)

His horse will return on it's own. It's not his fault. His troubles will run their course and what is lost will be restored. He feels you belong to him. Yes he wants you to return on your own. He wants you to change your attitude and outlook and position on things.

6) whats the best attitude to take towards this relationship - 53.3 changing to 20

In your hurry to have the upper hand to you went off on your own and lost your way. Defend your position without attacking him or his parents. You feel betrayed. Betrayal from your partner is indicated (is he cheating on you?). Take the higher road - take a superior stand. Look at things objectively. Show indifference to some things that bother you just learn to ignore them. Don't take things to heart and be so sensitive.

Hope this helps...don't worry.

Maybe you should ask.

What is the outlook between me and my estranged husband?
What is the real issue here?
What can resolve this conflict?
What can I expect to happen next between me and my estranged husband?
What do I stand to gain if I return to him?
What do I stand to lose if I return to him?
What is the best course of action under my present circumstances with my estranged husband?
Is there any hope for reconciliation?

 

[kapoork]

thank you for the details. Your interpretations is more 'slap on the face' kind of right, thank you for the suggested questions. I know he's not cheating on me with another woman but really with his family if you know what i mean, and right now i am so extremely hurt specially with the fact that this separation hasn't altered his stance on our relationship as it seems from your interpretation of (4). Is it really incorrect on my part to have the need to be a priority in his life?

 

[cornucopia63]

thank you for the details. Your interpretations is more 'slap on the face' kind of right, thank you for the suggested questions. I know he's not cheating on me with another woman but really with his family if you know what i mean, and right now i am so extremely hurt specially with the fact that this separation hasn't altered his stance on our relationship as it seems from your interpretation of (4). Is it really incorrect on my part to have the need to be a priority in his life?

My friend a reading is just an objective look into things and not always what we want to hear but how things are in reality. That is the wisdom and guidance of the I Ching.

Yes you should be a priority in his life. You are his wife and he should be a priority in your life. It works both ways. An equal partnership. Personally I do not think that parents should get involved in a marriage. In my world when a man gets married his priority is his wife and his family. That's how it works. Sure there are mama boys in all cultures men who never grow up. These men end up alone or divorced because no woman puts up with it for long. Telling you to leave his house is an insult. If I understood it correctly that is what happened. First of all you are married it's your house too. You should have never left if you wanted to keep the marriage. I don't know what words were exchanged between you. I don't know how marriages are in your culture. If you love each other you should both sit down and discuss things in a mature manner. It seems that too many people are getting involved in your marriage. He has betrayed your confidence in him. Maybe he complains about you to his parents? Maybe he told them things you did not want them to know that makes you look bad? He is not on your side.

He feels that if you are both meant to be together you will be. He is leaving things to fate. He seems passive and easily influenced. Are you the strong one in the marriage? This is being very cautious. He doesn't want to make a wrong move and jeopardize his position. It shows an unstable situation nothing has been completed. There is no closure.

 

[cornucopia63]

5) does he want me back in his life - 38.1 changing to 64 (this one really troubles me)

Not yet. He is told not to chase after you. He wants you to return to him on your own. He feels that you force him to do things he does not want to do. He doesn't like to be pressured. Nothing is settled yet or finalized between you two and he doesn't want to make any mistakes or make the wrong moves. He is very wary and cautious.