Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
28.2 (Exceeding) -> 31 (Influence, Wooing)What is in store for my married life?
50.4 (The cauldron) -> 18 (Managing decay)What will happen if I return back on his terms now?
My current situation is that I do not wish to return to him unless he agrees to fix the problems that cause all the issues between us (basically a ton of interference from his parents who dont stay with us but do visit often and also 'force' us to visit them and spend vacations with them a lot)
!
Hi
I am currently separated from my husband due to a horrible fight after which he asked me to leave his house. I was depressed for a lot reasons while living with him and thought life would become better and actually accepted the separation. We had thought of divorce.
But as it so happens even after 3 months neither of us has filed for divorce. we work in the same place which makes things all the more complicated.
I did a readhing with the question 'what is in store for my married life' and got 28.2 changing to 31
I then asked 'what will happen if I return back on his terms now' and got 50.4 changing to 18
My current situation is that I do not wish to return to him unless he agrees to fix the problems that cause all the issues between us (basically a ton of interference from his parents who dont stay with us but do visit often and also 'force' us to visit them and spend vacations with them a lot)
I am not sure how to interpret these reading and I'm also not sure if i'm asking the IChing the correct questions.
Please help me a) understand the readings better, b) phrase better questions to make the most of my readings.
Regards!
My current situation is that I do not wish to return to him unless he agrees to fix the problems that cause all the issues between us (basically a ton of interference from his parents who dont stay with us but do visit often and also 'force' us to visit them and spend vacations with them a lot)
58.2.4.5(The Joyous, Talk) -> 24 (Return)What should i understand about his parents?
6.1(Dispute) -> 10 (Treading carefully)I also asked what do I need to understand about my husband
55.3 (Abundance) -> 51(Shock)how soon will we reunite
In my humble opinion, considering all the questions, i think you should try to speak to your husband, about his parents and the problems they are causing. I don't know if that discussion was the cause of you leaving the house earlier..."he needs to appreciate your POV on this and perhaps make some boundaries around when and when not the parents can visit"
58.2.4.5(The Joyous, Talk) -> 24 (Return)
I think his parents are two bundles of joy, two lakes that fill each other, that just love their son very much.
Line 2 says: be sincere and refrain from activities that don't feel right for you.
Line 4 says: if you are trying to decide what's best for you, weighing down pros and cons, then this activity is not really for you.
Line 5 says: if you let the 'lowly' activities or thoughts affect you, it will bring trouble.
If you replace 'pleasure/activity' with 'being with them', and 'inferior' with 'parents' then lines 2,4,5 talk about the need for You to stay away from Them, to minimize the duration of contact, as if they are beneath you and only bring you trouble. Or/and it just shows your attitude right now.
Can your husband go visit his parents alone maybe?
Hex 24 is named 'Return', i think it confirms the need to stay away.
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Also, in Huang's book, hex 58 means Talk, so you should talk with or about his parents honestly (line 2) and there's really much to talk about (line 4), but don't be too demanding (line 5). And then hex 24 will be ' The turning point '.
"The time of darkness is past. The winter solstice brings the victory of light. This hexagram is linked with the eleventh month, the month of the solstice (December-January)."
6.1(Dispute) -> 10 (Treading carefully)
Line 1 speaks about trying to avoid the conflict, to don't even mention it.
In my opinion: Your husband is caught between hammer and anvil, and tries to avoid conflict with his parents. He must be very close to them and doesn't want to distance himself away.
So he is treading carefully around the issue ('tiger' from hex 10).
55.3 (Abundance) -> 51(Shock)
Line 3:
The underbrush is of such abundance that the small stars can be seen at noon. He breaks his right arm . No blame.
In the sphere of social relationships, this means that the prince is now so eclipsed that even the most insignificant persons can push themselves into the foreground. This makes it impossible for an able man, though he might be the right hand of the ruler, to undertake anything. It is as though his arm were broken, but he is not to blame for being thus hindered in action.
I think it says you cannot force anything for now. But i hope the eclipse will pass
As trojan have said earlier
In my humble opinion, considering all the questions, i think you should try to speak to your husband, about his parents and the problems they are causing. I don't know if that discussion was the cause of you leaving the house earlier...
10.5(Treading carefully, conduct) -> 38 (Opposition)What should be my learning from all this?
19.1.2.4.5 (Approach) -> 45 (Gathering Together)What should be my next steps to resolve the issues?
Wilhelm's commentary speaks for itself:"What does this last month of the year hold for me?" - hex 36(Darkening of the light)
37 Is all about knowing your place/role in the family. Following the rules set by the husband."How will he tackle his parents opposition" - 37.1.2.5.6(The Family, Household) to 46 (Pushing Upward)
"What does he think about my family?" - 39.1.4.5(Obstacles, Admonishment) -> 55 (Abundance, Fullness)
Hex 9 (Wilhelm) presents a configuration of circumstances in which a strong element is temporarily held in leash by a weak element. It is only through gentleness that this can have a successful outcome.'How long will we stay apart?' - 9.1.2(The Taming Power of the Small) to 53(Gradual progress)
What my husband is planning to do before this year ends? 9.1.3.5.6 to 7
You are his stimuli to change the situation.What does he feel about me? 59.5 to 4
At the moment he feels like he must lose you for a while.How does he see his future - with me or without - 4.1 to 41
Now you've got the 'Treading carefully' hex, as did your husband earlier, and also 'The youthful folly" one.What can I do to bring true love back into my life? - 10.1.4.5 to 4
Hex 2 tells you to yield and follow, plus there are no changing lines, so it probably won't matter what you do.What will happen if I stop sending him messages? Hex 2
47.2.4.5(Oppression, Exhaustion) -> 2 (Receptive)How will things be if i continue like this?
61.1.4(Inner Truth) -> 6 (Dispute)What can i do to make my life better?
Yes.kapoork said:Am i supposed to just sit and watch as things unfold
1)What is going on? - 23 unchanging
Wilhelm: This pictures a time when inferior people are pushing forward and are about to crowd out the few remaining strong and superior men. Under these circumstances, which are due to the time, it is not favorable for the superior man to undertake anything.
Your marriage is being shattered, by his relatives pressing him. He is overwhelmed.
2)Why is he not coming to me? - 51.6 changing to 21.
Wilhelm: When inner shock is at its height, it robs a man of reflection and clarity of
vision. In such a state of shock it is of course impossible to act with presence of mind. Then the right thing is to keep still until composure and clarity are restored.
He is in shock, he can't think straig
ht. He must bite-through the obstacles first, regain his consciousness.
3)What are my feelings for him? - 33 unchanging
Your feelings begin to fade. Wilhelm: In the calendar this hexagram is linked with the sixth month (July-August),
in which the forces of winter are already showing their influence.
4) What happens if i stop all communication? - 8.5 changing to 2
You take a passive position, being more accepting, waiting for the right man to go your way, not pursuing anything, not trying to force your will.
5) Does he want me back in his life? - 38.1 changing to 64 (Not yet complete)
Wilhelm 38.1: Remorse dwindles. If you lose your horse, do not run after it. It will come back itself. When you see bad people, guard yourself against mistakes.
When opposition begins to manifest itself, a man must not try to bring about unity by force, for by so doing he would only achieve the contrary, just as a horse goes farther and farther away if one runs after it.
If it is one's own horse, one can safely let it go; it will come back of its own accord.
I think he wants you to come back by yourself, but he is being oppressed by his family and he feels like he can't do anything but wait.
6) What's the best attitude to take towards this relationship? - 53.3 changing to 20
Wilhelm, 53.3: If we do not let things develop quietly but plunge of our own choice too rashly into a struggle, misfortune results. A man jeopardizes his own life, and his family perishes thereby. However, this is not all necessary; it is only the result of transgressing the law of natural development. If one does not willfully provoke a conflict, but confines himself to vigorously maintaining his own position and to warding off unjustified attacks, all goes well.
M.Daniels, 53.3: Fruitless advance leads to trouble.
So, as h20 says: Stand back and look at the situation.
Yes.
Maybe you can let your husband know that you are really waiting for him, that you really love him and want to be with him no matter what till the end of days.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).