Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I have been seeing my ex for the past 2 months. We had been in a serious relationship a few years ago but he suffers from what I think is depression & would lash out & push people away so it ended badly, with us not speaking for over a year. He then made contact, apologising for all his horrible behaviour, asking to meet with me as he was moving overseas. All went well, we kept in contact as friends over the years, he seemed to be doing well, beating his demons & loving his new life, I was really happy for him.
Then for reasons unknown we seemed to be more in contact than usual this year, with contact gradually increasing, until he was calling me twice or three times a week, despite the time difference. He had asked several times for me to come visit him, but he was living in another country a vast distance away so flight prices were always out of my reach.
Then during the summer he said that he wasn't going to renew his visa, odd I thought as I knew he really loved it there. He was going to Europe so he could be closer to family & again asked me come visit him there. I happened to be bringing my daughter on holiday to the country he was moving to (although not the same city) so suggested we meet up while I was over there. He loved the idea & wanted to come to where we were & stay for a bit to catch up (we hadn't seen each other in over 2yrs). But in the meantime his grandmother died, who he was close to & he was flying back to our hometown as I was flying out on holiday so we missed each other.
On the plus side he decided to stay for a while with his family until he found a new place to live in Europe. We met up & rekindled things. Things were going great, we spoke everyday, he called over, we'd cook dinner & hang out at my place, had alot of laughs, it was lovely. Of course we had a few little disagreements on things, we are almost the opposite of each other but both are strong willed with opinions, but we managed to nip them in the bud quickly which was a huge step for us as years ago we would've ended up fighting with each other. But when anything was wrong or getting him down I'd be the first person he'd call or ask to come see. It was a real nice time, we had never said we were in a relationship with each other as we both knew he was leaving soon, but I was really enjoying it for what it was without thinking where is this going or not going.
He did however tell me he loved me in his sleep; he talks in his sleep, it's actually how I found out he loved me the first time round some years ago! I never mentioned it as I didn't want to embarrass him. He also asked me to come with him to Europe as I have to move house soon.
Then 2wks ago I was doing a bit of Xmas shopping & picked him up a gift. I was feeling pretty good about it so I txt him to say I got him something but heard nothing back. Didn't really think anything of it, he was probably working. But hours later nothing, which was unusual so I rang him. I could tell he was in a bad mood, he was ranting about his day & hating on everything, starting to spiral, getting angrier & angrier, so to lighten the mood I asked had he got my txt...big mistake! He got annoyed saying that we hadn't planned getting each other gifts, that I knew he was saving for the move. When I pointed out that he had previously said that he wanted to get thoughtful xmas gits for everyone this year, including me & my daughter; he got angry saying he only meant a novelty gift. I got upset cause of the way he was speaking to me & his backtracking so ended the phone call.
He then sent a txt saying he thinks it's best if we don't see each other for a while, maybe we could try just being friends, that he loved the time we spent together but maybe talk in the new year, but he's not sure it's healthy for us. I was obviously very upset by all this, it had literally come out of nowhere! The previous week he had asked me to move to Europe with him so I can't have gotten my wires crossed there!
Many, many times before he has pushed me away, saying hurtful things to then come back & say he doesn't feel worthy so he deliberately ruins everything cause he thinks he'll just end up hurting everyone in the long run, one of the reasons I think he suffers from depression.
So I think he may be doing it again, as he's leaving in a few weeks & knows I won't be going with him (although we'd already set the dates I would visit)
He has since sent me a cute picture message, but when I sent him something I knew he'd like he snapped at me. So confusing
So I asked:
What are his true feelings for me? 40.1.6 > 38
How should I proceed with him? (with regards to this current dispute/not talking) 60.1 > 61
I really want to reach out to him as I think he might be afraid of having real feelings, also worried he has slipped into a bout of depression & I'd like him to know I'm here for him regardless. But I also need to set boundaries, as I think 60.1 suggests, I don't ever want to be treated like he did to me years before.
40.1.6 I'm not sure of, I don't know if storm is in reference to what happened last week or it means our previous relationship?
Any interpretation most welcome!
Then for reasons unknown we seemed to be more in contact than usual this year, with contact gradually increasing, until he was calling me twice or three times a week, despite the time difference. He had asked several times for me to come visit him, but he was living in another country a vast distance away so flight prices were always out of my reach.
Then during the summer he said that he wasn't going to renew his visa, odd I thought as I knew he really loved it there. He was going to Europe so he could be closer to family & again asked me come visit him there. I happened to be bringing my daughter on holiday to the country he was moving to (although not the same city) so suggested we meet up while I was over there. He loved the idea & wanted to come to where we were & stay for a bit to catch up (we hadn't seen each other in over 2yrs). But in the meantime his grandmother died, who he was close to & he was flying back to our hometown as I was flying out on holiday so we missed each other.
On the plus side he decided to stay for a while with his family until he found a new place to live in Europe. We met up & rekindled things. Things were going great, we spoke everyday, he called over, we'd cook dinner & hang out at my place, had alot of laughs, it was lovely. Of course we had a few little disagreements on things, we are almost the opposite of each other but both are strong willed with opinions, but we managed to nip them in the bud quickly which was a huge step for us as years ago we would've ended up fighting with each other. But when anything was wrong or getting him down I'd be the first person he'd call or ask to come see. It was a real nice time, we had never said we were in a relationship with each other as we both knew he was leaving soon, but I was really enjoying it for what it was without thinking where is this going or not going.
He did however tell me he loved me in his sleep; he talks in his sleep, it's actually how I found out he loved me the first time round some years ago! I never mentioned it as I didn't want to embarrass him. He also asked me to come with him to Europe as I have to move house soon.
Then 2wks ago I was doing a bit of Xmas shopping & picked him up a gift. I was feeling pretty good about it so I txt him to say I got him something but heard nothing back. Didn't really think anything of it, he was probably working. But hours later nothing, which was unusual so I rang him. I could tell he was in a bad mood, he was ranting about his day & hating on everything, starting to spiral, getting angrier & angrier, so to lighten the mood I asked had he got my txt...big mistake! He got annoyed saying that we hadn't planned getting each other gifts, that I knew he was saving for the move. When I pointed out that he had previously said that he wanted to get thoughtful xmas gits for everyone this year, including me & my daughter; he got angry saying he only meant a novelty gift. I got upset cause of the way he was speaking to me & his backtracking so ended the phone call.
He then sent a txt saying he thinks it's best if we don't see each other for a while, maybe we could try just being friends, that he loved the time we spent together but maybe talk in the new year, but he's not sure it's healthy for us. I was obviously very upset by all this, it had literally come out of nowhere! The previous week he had asked me to move to Europe with him so I can't have gotten my wires crossed there!
Many, many times before he has pushed me away, saying hurtful things to then come back & say he doesn't feel worthy so he deliberately ruins everything cause he thinks he'll just end up hurting everyone in the long run, one of the reasons I think he suffers from depression.
So I think he may be doing it again, as he's leaving in a few weeks & knows I won't be going with him (although we'd already set the dates I would visit)
He has since sent me a cute picture message, but when I sent him something I knew he'd like he snapped at me. So confusing
So I asked:
What are his true feelings for me? 40.1.6 > 38
How should I proceed with him? (with regards to this current dispute/not talking) 60.1 > 61
I really want to reach out to him as I think he might be afraid of having real feelings, also worried he has slipped into a bout of depression & I'd like him to know I'm here for him regardless. But I also need to set boundaries, as I think 60.1 suggests, I don't ever want to be treated like he did to me years before.
40.1.6 I'm not sure of, I don't know if storm is in reference to what happened last week or it means our previous relationship?
Any interpretation most welcome!