Connections: friendship, love or just curiosity..

[Lodestar]

Girl meets guy. It feels like there is a connection, even a deep one, but it dissipates, he fades away..
I'm just curious as to what all that was about? Maybe I gave more importance to the connection than he did?

Why did the connection dissipate? 1.2.3.4.5-27
I'm not ready? Need more guidance, inner work? OR He just wasn't that into me?

Why did he seek me out? What did he want from me?
14.3.4.6 - 19
He saw that I possessed something energy/status.. (and /or I also gravitated to something in him)

What is my best attitude to him and this experience?
39.4 - 31
I put myself out there, but now it's time to return my energies to source and forget about him. Grateful for a nice passing connection.

 

[MoonCatcher]

Why did the connection dissipate?

hex 1 always feels like a very male number to me so I take this to represent him and the stages of his advances.

With so many changing lines apart from the sixth - it seems that at some point; his infatuation died down. 27 is the hex of provision / support / nourishment.. in this context I think it means that the relationship reached its maximum capacity for growth.

Why did he seek you out?

I think the second reading is saying; he enjoyed the connection - in some respects you fit certain aspects of his ideal. But it was not destined to last (hex 19) and he innately knew it.

What is your best attitude to him and your experience?

Give yourself some time to become more centred (hex 39) yes reserve energy (line 4) before inviting (hex 31) another relationship into your life.

Sounds like you need to forget about him. Pinpointing what it was exactly that made him lose interest is pointless... It comes down to compatibility in the end - there are no mistakes that can't be overlooked by a compatible couple.

There was friendship, love and curiosity all at once. It wasn't nothing; but it wasn't anything more than it was.

 

[Lodestar]

Thank-you Mooncatcher. That sounds accurate. I was always curious at his attraction, when we'd meet he'd talk philosophy but I felt didn't really get to know me, it's like he wanted to keep it all on a higher plane. That would fit with me fitting certain high ideals, he was v caring towards me. It also might indicate a certain immaturity, but maybe not.

So I asked 'what is his character/stage of development?
10.2 - 25

I think that's him exactly, he's reaching out and connecting, but really what's going on is he is focused on himself and his own path. To such a degree in fact, he could be quite careless of my feelings talking cosmic love, making plans and changing at the last minute. Fortunately I wasn't too caught up in the whole thing. I think I guessed right from the start he wasn't really steady and sure of his likes/dislikes, in the way I'd need anyone to be for a friendship or relationship. Still I value our little connection. But if it's not right for him, then it's not right for me, he just heard the message first.

Actually to be honest the above cast describes me too. In a way that's what we had in common. Apart from I would never cancel anyone last minute, much too conscientious.

 

[altair139]

I usually dont see readings that are asked closely in a short period of time, but this case makes sense somehow haha

Why did the connection dissipate? 1.2.3.4.5-27

Hex 1. This depicts an action that has been acted strongly, most likely from that person you're asking about. He cut the connection on his own.
Line 2: The dragon appears on the field. It shows that you're beginning to get the idea of the situation, stay tuned
Line 3: A person who is active in the morning but becomes insecure and afraid at night. This could be you feeling ok in the relationship at first but gets insecure about your own feeling later. Watch out for unconscious elements in your psyche which would hinder your progress. Control your words. This is a dangerous position but no blame.
Line 4: A dragon is trying to fly up, but still in the deep. This could be you or him trying to get out of the relationship but still got stuck somehow. This is a transitional period and your or his will is being tested.
Line 5: The dragon is flying in the sky. Whatever choice you made you will be glad you made it. It could depict that both of you are free from the emotional attachment.
Hex 27 is about nourishment. The hexagram depicts a mouth, seeking food. You might be tempted to find new love for your own emotional nourishment.

Why did he seek me out? What did he want from me?
14.3.4.6 - 19

Hex 14 indeed said that you have something that he's seeking. Might be the love, might be the physical appearance.
Line 3 says that you gave him a feast but he can't do the same (or the other way round). This can be understood in many context, either spiritually or even sexually.
Line 4: there is a matter of pride involved here. Arrogance is forbidden. I dont know much about this relationship so i can't tell much :/
Line 6: Great help from above. It is as if your relationship is destined.
Hex 19: Since your question is in past tense this hexagram made sense that he approached you and a relationship occurred. However it also says in the hexagram that this relationship will not last long "in the eighth month there will be evil".

What is my best attitude to him and this experience?
39.4 - 31

Hex 39 depicts inaccessibility, it says you should stay away from him by making yourself inaccessible. No drama should occur.
line 4 might predict that neither you or him can advance further in pursuing this relationship. Stay firm.
Hex 31 predicts that there will be affection in the future. It might or might not be him.

 

[Lodestar]

Thank-you again Mooncatcher 'love friendship curiosity all at once' was a useful reflection back, as is 1 representing the male.

 

[Lodestar]

Thank you so much Altair for your interpretation. It really resonates!
How do you get to these extra levels? Is it a matter of looking up the meanings and then using your intuition?

Update: Well he sought me out again and I was friendly and polite, but I've kind of switched off from expecting anything and maybe from even wanting anything. He wanted to make plans but I evaded doing so as he's too unreliable.

I do believe he is genuine and I think it's a positive connection and probably good for me, so long as I take him for what he is and keep him as a casual but positive friend.

This is difficult for me, I know I get possessive when I like someone, out of not knowing how to build trust, not knowing how to communicate my needs, feeling very vulnerable when I don't know where something is going. He is a good teacher for me this way. I want to name things, officialise things way too soon..
Yet such stereotypes of security in the past never 'felt' secure and were no guarantee of enduring affection or of being treated well.

Out of curiosity and because I was surprised and moved by the nice energy between us and his kind approach, I asked what is the dynamic between us now? 49.5 - 55

Looking up 49.5 I came across this excellent post by precision grace which I must quote in full!
I feel it's a part of what I'm learning here.

When I feel a connection, I go into a panic, I project my needs and fears onto them and lose my centre. The slow evolution of this connection, has at the very least allowed me to reflect and pull back from burdening another and finding more power within myself. The .5 moving line of hex 1 could possibly indicate not being emotionally needy.. not dragging off the other with needs? Hex 27 perhaps people who are learning to be self-nourishing.. That's not from any iching knowledge just inferring meaning.

Hello, I just found this somewhere on here while looking for a completely different hexagram, but as you are both having issues in love, maybe it would help

Love Is...

Most of the people I know confuse love with possession. It's easy to see why; it's built into the fundamental assumptions of our culture. "You're mine," says the popular song, "and we belong together." Hardly anyone stops to question the sentiment.

As soon as we feel love, we immediately attempt to possess. We speak confidently of my boyfriend, my wife, my child, my parent. We feel justified in holding expectations about those people. We consider that perfectly reasonable.

Why? Because all our concepts of love ultimately derive from romantic love — and romantic love is furiously, frantically possessive. We want to be with our lover, to have them to ourselves, to feel their eyes on us, to consume their minds and bodies...to possess them.

So strongly do we equate love with possession that we may even feel if someone doesn't want to possess us, they don't really love us. Yet I would argue that what we call romantic love is not love at all. It's a kind of emotional storm, an overpowering, thrilling attraction — but it isn't love.

Because real love isn't possessive. It can't be. We'd all agree that love involves giving, not taking. Yet the desire to possess actually springs from the lover's own need — the need for approval from the beloved, for support from a parent, for straight A's from a child, for status, for financial security — for something. A possessive lover is overly focused on what he's getting, not what he's giving. The lover may dignify his dependency with the name love, but it's a lie. How can you really love somebody when you're dependent on them for things you need? That isn't love, that's just manipulation to keep the needed stuff coming your way. Robert Palmer sings about being "addicted to love," but nobody really is. People are addicted to their needs.

And love isn't the same as need. It just isn't.

Of course, a loving relationship will produce interdependencies. But all too often, the pleasure of freely giving changes to a fear of possibly not getting. It's just that this person — your husband, your girlfriend, your child — is suddenly so important to you. You worry about what's going to happen. What they're going to do. And at that moment, love stops.

People sometimes wonder if they're feeling real love. These same people never wonder if they're sexually aroused, or sad. Then what's the problem about recognizing love? Most often, because they're sensing a conflict: they're feeling the depth of their need, not the heights of their love.

There are ways to know real love. It feels calm. It's steady, and it can easily last a lifetime. It's nourishing — people grow under its influence. They become who they really are, and now what someone expects them to be. Real love isn't blind; on the contrary, people feel understood, accepted for who they really are. It's healing. People recover.

So whenever you hear that love is blind, or love can't last, or love is destructive, you can be sure that you're hearing a description of lust, or desire, or need. And it's an accurate description, because needs really are transient and destructive.

But love is something else entirely. An emotion of deep caring that asks nothing in return, an emotion that is fulfilling without any expectation at all, is so rare that most people in our society can't imagine it. They can't imagine feeling it, or receiving it. They may even come to believe it doesn't exist. But it does.

And it's the best thing there is.

From this thread: http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...Should-I-let-X-back-into-my-life-49-3-5-gt-51