Contradictions

[ritzy]

Hello
I have been in a long distance relationship with a man in Canada (I am in London) for about 6 months now.
It is pretty deep, we are both in our 50s, and a move to join him is on the cards.
In view of the big-ness of the venture for us both, I asked the I Ching what place this man had in my life.

I got unchanging 6 which I felt did not bode well, unless it referred to "not connecting" in the sense that we are geographically apart.

Confused, I asked for clarification.
This time I got 8 - 1, 3 > 63
The change lines in this reading appear to be contradictory.

Nonplussed, I tried one more time and got 12 - 1, 3 >13
This was even more emphatic, urging retreat and self-examination.
The "obstacle" I could see (the Atlantic Ocean) but did not understand the stress on withdrawal, given that all readings relating to this relationship in the past had been so wholeheartedly positive.

A final reading gave me 15 - 1, 2, 3 > 60
This seemed much more positive, but left me wondering at the ambivalence of the intervening readings.
Perhaps I am being guided to "take care", but I'm really not sure.

I am a relative novice at this - two or three years' experience with I Ching.
Do those of you who are more expert with readings have any ideas on the conflicting nature of some of these answers?

Many Thanks
ritzy

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Ritzy
My recommendation would be to not ask the Yi for multiple clarifications. Actually, this is the advice of the Yi itself - given in Hexagram 04.

Ask only one question, look up the response in at least three of the better books, and meditate on the response until you get it.

That still leaves you "conflicted", at present too many realities and points of view to melt into one.

 

[ritzy]

Hi there
Thank you so much for your guidance - I think the "abstractness" of the situation (a relationship in a vacuum for long periods) was leading me to push the reading too much.
I will calm down and do as you say.
ritzy

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Ritzy-
I'm sending something to the address on your profile. Let me know if you don't get it.
This is my old translation of Hex 06, plus the draft of a new commentary not published yet.
There may be something useful on the first two pages or the last page.
b

 

[dobro p]

Hex 6 talks about conflict and/or contention. In this case, it might not be a hidden contention between the two of you, but something between you in Canada and you in London.

So, what's the problem? The dynamics of the relationship, or the geography of it?

As for the other consultations - what Brad said.

 

[ritzy]

Hello Bradford
Thank you so much for the extracts on Hex 6.
I have to say, they are brilliant - awesome.
You are right - the beginning and end pages are very fitting.
I loved the image (a boat afloat on water, stars above for guidance, a permit to go anywhere ...).
It is quite uncanny, as I have a card in the drawer right next to me now, that I was about to send to my beloved in Canada.
It is a picture of 2 boats in calm water, with 2 or 3 little islands in the background, half-light and very very still. I bought this card last week, before the reading which brought up Hex 6.
I am still taking all this in.
Do you have any additional details about the translations you used ?
Apologies for not responding sooner - I am at work.
Thank you
ritzy

 

[ritzy]

Hello Dobro
Thank you for this.
You are right, and it is becoming clearer, that the conflict is within me and not between myself and my partner.
The geography is evidently (I see now) the primary problem, not allowing us fully to move on to explore the inner dynamics of the relationship.
I know that I feel incredibly frustrated and impatient, as we are having to fit in with external circumstances at the moment, and spontaneous connecting is not a possibility until early next year.
Your point was very helpful.
Thank you.
ritzy

 

[bradford_h]

Hi again-
This discussion has prompted me to add both "ambivalence" (being drawn to two things at once) and "Approach-approach conflict" to my new keywords section for Gua 06. This type of conflict can be a whole lot more agonizing than "Vanilla or Chocolate?"
It also offers reasons to remember Candid's point of view in the recent discussion on the Wilhelm's 31.4 thread - that the dramatis personae in the Yi's metaphor are often entirely internal characters.
Also, I really like Dobro's "the you in Canada and the you in London" arguing the merits of their respective cases.
Ritzy- there's a big Yijing bibliography on my website (see profile) that highlights my favoite translations, but the one I sent is my own.