Dating an older woman

[cellofellow]

Hi. I'm Jonathan, from Sheffield. I've been on this site before, but hardly ever. So, I always forget my ID and password, and have to start again each time! I'm a music teacher, and teach 'cello mainly, but also piano.

I've recently began seeing a woman older than me (recently, as in for one week). I'm 28, she's 36. This is a new situation for me. We connect on loads of different levels, and my gut feeling, which I've decided to follow, is to see where it leads.

I wrote her name on a piece of paper and consulted the I Ching. This is how I usually do a reading concerning a person, to let the I Ching tell me what I need to know, without me restricting it too much by a question. I got hexagram 50, with changing line 4, going to hexagram 18.

I'm not sure what to make of this. Line 4 isn't particularly positive, and as we both connect so well, I'd be surprised if this was just saying no. I'm more inclined to follow my heart than a reading. I really don't want to not be seeing her. Any ideas would be welcome. I'm too close to this situaion to be even remotely objective!

Our life situations are: I'm a self-employed music teacher, she's a social worker in a hospital.

Thanks,

Jonathan.

 

[candid]

Hi Jonathan,

Now that's a real buzz kill! Especially if you're reading from Wilhelm.

"I'm more inclined to follow my heart than a reading." Bravo!

I'm wondering about dignity here, either yours or hers. I say this only because line 4 suggests that dignity is soiled. And 18 has to do with repairing was has been spoiled. So, soiled and spoiled are key words here, I believe.

You haven't mentioned, nor need to, whether you or she is available for courtship? That is, unattached. But it could enter into the reading if one or the other is so.

Does this relationship in any way compromise your esteem? Does it deflect a deeper goal you have for yourself?

 

[cellofellow]

Yeah, we are both available. I was wondering if solied and spoiled could be about previous crap that's happened, which we've both had plenty of. I don't really want to give details, without her knowing I have. Could there be an element of healing each others wounds in this reading? Or is that the wrong tack completely?

Jonathan.

 

[calumet]

Previous crap leads directly to present and future crap unless it's been VERY thoroughly dealt with and its effects replaced with something much less crappy. And you may know that a fast and close connection isn't necessarily a good one. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you about this reading, and be careful.

 

[candid]

This is a tough one, Jonathan. I did something I rarely ever do: asked Yi for clarification on your question as to whether this relates to before or after; your past or present. I received 63, which is after completion. This would suggest that your reading was not about anything that came before.

I'd still ask you if there's anything compromising about this relationship. Is there guilt or remorse over it? Why does the age difference concern you? In this age, eight years difference doesn't seem like a deal breaker to me. But what matters here is how you feel about it.

 

[schastlivchik]

Dear Jonathan: Reading your situation from the elements of the hexagrams, the situation looks more positive.

The first hexagram, 50, is made up of wood supporting fire. In this case, you are the wood, she is the fire, meaning you are quite enthusiastic about her and making things work, and she responds enthusiastically as well.

The next hex, 43, represents the middle stage, as well as the deeper level of things. In this case, you are both metal, the same element, meaning a high level of mutual support and like minds/souls. Once you delve deeper into things, you will both find this connection exists.

The last hex, 18, shows the inner wood controlling the outer earth. Control often means an area of energy or enthusiasm that has an effect in shaping something else. Given that Sun means penetrating influence, and the outer Gen means stillness, this suggests that you might end up staying together, and really changing each others' life.
Sun can also mean unpredictability, but in your case, given the previous 2 hexagrams positive message and the fact that Gen (stillness, not moving on) is the outer world, it appears that this is not the meaning.

Line 4 changing implies that the relationship is on a serious level, or soon approaching that level, even if it is young. It also implies that this relationship plays a significant role in your lives. It also gets a response from the receptive 5th line, indicating that your minds are open and are able to guide this relationship wisely.

Best wishes!

Schastlivchik

 

[Frankelmick]

Jonathan,

From Sheffield eh? Are you a Wednesday fan? Talk about Hx 18!

Anyway...

You said, "I'm more inclined to follow my heart than a reading. I really don't want to not be seeing her."

Well that's your answer then, isn't it?

Cheers,

Mick
(Leyton Orient fan)

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Jonathan-
More from the text than from being a psychic:
Carry youurself like a grownup, respect her and don't make a mess of things. It's ok to be of good service to her.
Do you carry anything from your father or upbringing which might be detrimental to this?
Watch out for old patterns, or ways to sabotage the relationship.

 

[cellofellow]

Thanks for all your insighful input. It's too early to really know or decide anything, so I reckon I'm going to just see where this one goes, and just keep a clear head. The whole situation feels to good to not continue with (cheers, Mick, for your highly down-to-earth post!). I'll be interested to see how the reading fits in as things develop over time. Maybe if I was a bit more intuitive, I wouldn't need to wait to find that out!

Mick, what's hexagram 18 go to do with Sheffield Wednesday? And I don't follow footie!

 

[Frankelmick]

Jonathan,

Just a few years ago, Wednesday were in the Premiership playing against the Arsenal.

Now they're in the Second Division (now called League One) playing against Brentford.

So maybe Owls fans might think it's time for the club to work on what's been spoiled?

But that's enough football eh? I don't see Hilary as an Oxford United fan somehow

Good luck with the new woman in your life.

Best wishes,

Mick

 

[dij]

I get that reading a lot - and usually in response to a paranoid question

I think Yi is saying to you - age does not matter you fool!



best of luck

 

[jeanystar]

Dear JOnathon,
I think if I got this reading after writing another person's name down and asking for the Yi's view on that person (and what you need to know) I would relate the answer to her primarily, not to you two as couple. I would be likely to assume that she has had circumstances which were rather disastrous for her , and that now she is healing, and working on repairing her life.
Candid's reading of 63 in regards to this could also be valid, but as saying that that part of her life is complete, over.
I thnk your own intuition, Jonathan, where you said that maybe this relationship could be related to healing each other, and you helping her to heal, would be very likely true. The Yi is telling you this about her, alerting you to be sensitive and aware of her vulnerability.

That would be my take, but its just a thought, and only my gut feeling.
best of luck to you.
and i like what dij said too!!
Jeannie

 

[candid]

I too liked Dij's answer. I think that nails line 4 quite well.

Jeanystar, so glad you wrote that. I've not been able to tie 50, as a whole, into Jonathan's question; but it's the nurturing and healing aspect which you've mentioned. Of course! If we look at 63 as saying "after the fact", that also is explained in your comments.

to you

 

[dobro p]

"I wrote her name on a piece of paper and consulted the I Ching. This is how I usually do a reading concerning a person, to let the I Ching tell me what I need to know, without me restricting it too much by a question. I got hexagram 50, with changing line 4"

It's a negative outcome. Hex 50 is about spiritual transformation, and line 4 is the lousiest line in the entire group. You asked the Yi what you need to know about the person in question, and the Yi responded with the lousiest line in the house of spiritual transformation.

What do you think that means?

 

[martin]

Jonathan, although she is not that much older you apparently see her as older. Does she resemble your mother in some way or does being with her awaken feelings in you that you had as a child?
Just a guess, but I was wondering if that could be the meaning of 50.4 in this case.

 

[martin]

Of course hex 18 can also relate to childhood and nearly all the lines mention the father or the mother ...