Dealing with sadness and other negative feelings

[martin]

Dear Joan,

Yes, I have led an incredibly fortunate life till now. I feel blessed. I'm infinitely grateful.
But there was no lack of orange juice

, quite on the contrary ...

I sometimes think that I have taken a very big risk when I planned this life together with the angels that watch over me.
We apparently planned a trip straight through a mine field and it's miracle that I'm still on the planet and more or less intact.
The angels had to come to my aid many times.
And, well, here I am!

More later

Martin

 

[martin]

Joan, if you are all ears, then listen to young children and animals.
Watch how they behave, how they deal with emotions, with apples and oranges, and so on.

They know. Only humans (beyond a certain age) are confused.

As Lise said: Ask your dog.

Blessings,
Martin

 

[learner]

Dear all,

The discussion here about pain, apparently triggered by my time of ?sighs and sobs?, has been proving quite interesting. I have been following your thoughts and ideas about the subject and, as a learner, mulling over them as well.
When I was younger, I have been into a therapy, trying to cope with painful emotions, because I had lost my parents when I was a teenager. The therapist told me that that my ?thermometer to measure the pain had a kind of malfunction?. By thinking about that some years later, I came to a conclusion that I have no idea of what that means. How can pain be measured? Is there an adequate level, in which everyone must fit? Is a strong pain like a high fever that must be cooled down immediately?
I tend to agree with Pedro, when he says that ?all pain is worth investigating, and it is through observing pain, delving into it, tasting it, exploring it, savoring it, that we come to the real understandment?, provided that the person does not turn the pain into a permanent condition.
I can see now why British novelist Virginia Woolf words ?One can not find peace by avoiding life? popped into my mind when I started to think about this subject. Although it might sound as a cliché, even pain is part of life and going through it is sometimes the only way how a person can find his or her strength.
Yes, Dharma, we have to unload our burden in that way beautifully described in your more than timely parable.
It seems to me that we can do it through real understanding of our emotions, even the ones that we would like to get rid of immediately or we would like to ignore, like anger or resentment toward other people. The enlightenment will be achieved neither with impatience nor with despair. It takes time but the results are worth with long-lasting benefits.

Pedro, I look forward to reading your article.

Thank you all for the wide-ranging debate, open-minded enough to bear even the frictions.

All the best,
Mirian

 

[joang]

Excuse me, Martin,
but that is BS. If children or animals are mistreated, they carry emotional scars for a long time, sometimes for life. I can't ask my dogs, because we never mistreat them. But I watch documentaries on the Animal Planet Channel almost every day. I see the animal cops bring in abused animals to the rescue shelter. There, with tender loving care, trainers try to rehabilitate them so that they can be adopted by a caring family. Some of the animals remain hostile and never come around to trusting human beings and being trustworthy around them. Sadly, they have to be euthanized. The shelters have no other choice.

I'm out of here now for a while. I have company coming and I have work to do.

Namaste,
Joan G.

 

[pedro]

Dear Learner,

Pain is not the goal, but its the challenge one has to go through. The goal is happiness, but first we have to pay our karmic debt, and that is painful. But its the only way. We cannot change our past actions, we can only "take the pill" without complaining, accepting that the fault was ours and no one else's, and start constructing a rich future NOW

As for the cause of pain, all pain comes from the very same cause, as Buddha put it: craving. Notice its not desire that is the source of pain, although it would seem so. Desire is a perfectly healthy thing, we should all wish our hearts away with good desires. Its the way we react to desire that is wrong, craving, NEEDING things or people. Once one needs anything or anyone, one is a slave of circumstances: you've lost your magic turtle

So as I see it now, there is no other way to deal with it. If we feel pain, we can choose to sedate it. That will only work for a while. Then you're back where you started with some years lost in between. Then one will try to face pain. Accept its inevitability, taking responsibility for past karma and paying the debt. This process must be accompanied by a process of ego dissolution, control of craving and anger (cause if one doesn't satisfy cravings one gets angry). One must be eager for change (one must be crying CHANGE from every pore!!) and one must feel with unshakable confidence the enormous freedom that just letting go of craving and the ego boundaries will release.

 

[heylise]

You are right, an animal or a child can be crippled for life by mistreatment. But finding your way out of that damage is a long arduous road, which can only start if you become innocent first. By trying to find yourself back, even if it is a damaged self. It can be done, by stripping off everything which is not self. Past, future, good, bad, all these human structures. It is 'forgiving', but not only forgiving one thing, it is forgiving everything and all, literally 'giving it away', as being no part of you.
What I meant with 'ask your dog' was only this first step, of leaving human structures, and entering myth or eternity or innocence or truth or whatever one calls it. It is what koans do. They do not heal a damaged soul, they only open the door to the recovery warden.

Phew, not easy to put feelings into words, especially when they are the opposite of words. Hope it makes some sense, but if I think too long about it, I will be too late with posting it.

LiSe

 

[martin]

Hi Joan,

Yes, I know, animals are sometimes mistreated by (confused) humans. That is a very sad thing. It goes deep because they are so open and the wounds are difficult to heal.
But I was of course talking about animals that are treated well, healthy animals.
I know and have known many dogs, cats, horses, mice, spiders, and so on, and their purity doesn't cease to amaze me.
We humans usually think that we are much more advanced and aware than animals.
Well, I have my doubts about that, although it's obviously true that we can do things that animals can't do.
A surplus of brain cells is not always an advantage. It may cause

Unless you are a dolphin, perhaps ..

Blessings,
Martin

 

[martin]

Now, that was again two minutes!
What's going on, Lise?

Martin

 

[martin]

Quote "Past, future, good, bad, all these human structures. It is 'forgiving', but not only forgiving one thing, it is forgiving everything and all, literally 'giving it away', as being no part of you."

I think that puts it very well.
Sometimes the 'giving it away' is not voluntary. 'Oranges' may force us to give it away.
Although I do believe that we somehow create these oranges - which are in fact blessings in disguise - ourselves, in most cases. They are part of our plan. We seem to be victims because our plan (our life script) is hidden for our surface consciousness.

Words ... there is a big gap between our stories and what really happens.
I can tell 1001 different stories (from different perspectives) about my life. They are all true .. and false.
I don't know what really happened and happens, I have no idea, perhaps nothing at all?

I like that emoticon and this one:

Martin

 

[learner]

Dear Pedro,

It is so helpful reading your explanations. I agree that craving is the source of pain and when we surrender to the incessant need of things and people we definitely loose our magic turtle!

I have just found a beautiful translation of the ?Tao Te Ching? by Stephen Mitchell and I do hope that all of you enjoy it.

?Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success or failure: which is more destructive?

If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.

Be content with what you have.
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realise there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.?


All the best,
Mirian

 

[martin]

Dear Pedro and Mirian,

My beloved and I sometimes say to each other "I love you, but I don't need you!"
And it's true. There is no craving, no neediness between us.
I don't know why, we didn't do anything to keep the craving out.
For some reason it never crept in. Our relationship is a gift from Heaven.
I watched a movie tonight. In the movie somebody said repeatedly "my cup runneth over".
It's like that. The cup is full, nothing lacks.

Mirian, thank you for the words of Lao Tzu.
He comes from a place where life is as it really is, very simple. I love him.

Martin

 

[martin]

Look, there we are, playing the black pieces, I'm nearly hidden behind here ..
(photo taken at a computerchess tournament)

 

[martin]

Oops, a typo, 'here' should be 'her'.
And I hope the picture is not too big. You will have to scroll to see us on the right ..

 

[eve]

Hey Martin,

I am so happy you are happy!

You look like buddha sitting behind this chessgame! You say you're hidden but I cannot see hair at all. OOPS, typo...hair should be her
Do you play chess via the computers in this game? Amazing.

eve.

 

[martin]

Hi Eve,

Hair?
Yes, I know, she is mysterious. Only visible for the inner eye

Smoooch!

Martin

 

[martin]

And yes, Eve, computerchess can be a Buddha game.
You need to think a lot before a tournament (to get the program right) but during a tournament it's all NO MIND.

By the way, I have less mysterious pictures of her of the same tournament.
Do you want to see one of them?

Martin

 

[eve]

Hi Martin,

I think I rather prefer the mystery unrevealed..

(Do you program the chessgame yourself?)

But perhaps you can help to unravel the mystery about my hexagrams in the other thread because I am craving for some explanations.

eve.

 

[martin]

Yes, I have to explain the computer how to play chess.
It's like trying to tame a stubborn beast .. takes a lot of time and patience.
I will look into your hexagrams.
Pedro says it's better not to crave, though

Martin

 

[learner]

Hello Martin,

I have just loved your photo. You seem so peaceful. Thank you for the inspirational atmosphere.
You said that you are nearly hidden behind her. But that is the way that every man should be! (Oops, a feminist idea appeared all of a sudden and I have never known that I had one?*grin*)

All the best,
Mirian

 

[martin]

Hi Mirian,

I agree. Hidden behind her feels right.
Perhaps I am a feminist myself, I feel that women are in most cases much wiser and deeper than men.
We men make so much noise, but woman power rules the world ...

Martin

 

[pedro]

Definitely so! I found out the other day that the female egg is the biggest human cell, and men's sperm cell is the smallest. Come to think of it, it makes perfect sense, women need to carry all the knowledge of the race, while we man basically just need information on how to find and mate a female (and perhaps a few brain cells to know how to open beer cans and operate the remote)

 

[mystery2mastery]

here is shai landau ( http://mystery2mastery.com )

and I want to share with you how I overcome sadness with the i-ching 10 years ago when I was 37 (in the year 1993.) and believe it or not never
become sad again. honest.

you can see from my birth chart ( 30 july 1956 16:20 GMT )
that I was born sad. Capricorn rising, Moon taurus, Sun Leo cojuct uranus and squre Moon etc.
day after day, week after week, month after month: sad, sad, sad.

But now I beliv life is awesome!!!


ok. to the story. it worked for me.

12 years ago I speak no english at all. I was born in israel, where we don't speak much english
and it was my first air-travel and visit out of the country. I went to south korea, china, india and japan and I spent there two years.

after the two years without israelis, I become an english speaker and even an english writer: http://jamesdvd.com

my english is still sux but I can communicate.

this is my advice: TRAVEL FAR AWAY ALONE
FOR SOME MONTHS!!! (HEXAGRAM 56, REAL TRAVEL)

The sadness WILL GO AWAY.


Its really great to travel. It is fantasterrific. Yup!!! If u want happiness, and I know everyone does, You gotta check this sweet earth out. sure. It Roxorz my boxorz.

I am not posting here much, so if you read this
you'll be happy to enjoy a free i-ching meditation corner at http://jamesdvd.com or
http://www.jamesdvd.com

top left corner...
just watch the images of the lines turn slowly
and relax with your fave music.

jamesdvd is the dvd without words with the music
of the great james dee and the images
of the I-ching. the same slow speed as in the
http://www.jamesdvd.com top left corner.
only this divine music and the images.
free for the pool members.

ALWAYS BE HAPPY, said God in the bible.

all smiles,

mystery2mastery@jamesdvd.com

 

[chrislofting]

A fundamental concept in dealing with depression etc is that it is generally linked to a specific context. To deal with the recovery it is best to move away from the context. The test of success in dealing with the depression is to be placed in the same or similar context and see if it comes back - as a species context will PUSH us. As a conscious species we can learn to 're-mold' our instincts/habits and so 'deal' with upsetting contexts (or know we need to move! ;-)

If one is unable to move then reflections on the hexagrams of the IC and how each applies to the context can aid in developing a perspective that aids in lessening the stress.

Chris.