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destiny or delusion -41>8, 42>8

Rasalila

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I've been in love with a man for the last year and a half, even though we're not together. We've known each other most of our lives, we went to the same elementary school and were friends in high school. We had a short fling in our late twenties(15 years ago) and then again last summer. The only problem is, I was married last summer. That marriage is dissolving in an amicable way, but we are still married. So I've been obsessing about the other man, E, for over a year. The reason I haven't been able to let him go is it feels like my higher self doesn't want me to. For instance, early on, I was tired of thinking about him because I didn't think it could go anywhere so I cried out to the universe, Give me a sign! I've never asked so emphatically before for a sign but this time I asked very clearly and requested to have it within 24 hours. My agreement was, if I didn't receive a sign, I would drop it completely and move on. E has a very unusual name, and the next day I got a wrong number from a different state asking for someone with his same name. I took that as the sign. There have been many other similar things like this, plus I've known him and loved him as a friend for most of my life. I've been very clear that I don't want to pursue this out of egoistic desire. I only want what's in harmony with universal forces and both of our higher selves. I know how to manifest things into my life, I've done it before, plus I'm extremely patient. So I've been working on manifesting this relationship ONLY because all signs point to it being in accord with the greater good, otherwise I wouldn't do it. I'm checking with Yi often to see how I'm doing and if I'm still in alignment about it. So I asked, how far along am I on the E-train and got 41.1.2.5.6>8, then two days later, what's the potential for us and got 42.1.6>8. I'm checking in with you guys because I know I have rose colored glasses on about this. Also, I'm not anticipating anything happening with him for a few more years. There are still too many things to work out in my current situation. I'm committed to doing The Work, and I see this as part of my journey into being a deliberate creator. I know I sound weird to some people, but everything I do is based in love and appreciation and wanting the best for all involved. Thanks for reading and any insights would be appreciated.
 

Rasalila

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I've really been on a rampage with this today and wanted to post because I'm so confused about 8. What does my inner being think about this? 48.2.3>8 Then, what kind of union(trying to understand 8) and get 36.1.3.5>8. The last four times I've asked about this, 8 has showed up as the changing hexagram. At first I thought 8 meant a spiritual union, like soul mate, but now I'm not sure.
 

Trojina

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Warning.

The only person you need to check in with is him himself. Too many times people lead themselves well up the garden path with signs and readings whilst neglecting to include the spoken wishes of the object of their affections, the person themselves, what they actually want.

You haven't said what he wants or where he stands in this as far as I can see. This matters far more than any signs or readings.

8 is what you commit to, decide to belong to. You said

We had a short fling in our late twenties(15 years ago) and then again last summer. The only problem is, I was married last summer. That marriage is dissolving in an amicable way, but we are still married. So I've been obsessing about the other man, E, for over a year.

Well marriage is a commitment or if it isn't there's no point doing it at all is there :confused: I'm not aiming to be judgmental but 8 is asking you questions about where you decide you belong, what you commit to. It carries the warning that you cannot prevaricate, it says late comers lose out. So you decide. 42 all about putting energy in but by line 6 it's becoming self centred, not considering the other's feelings which can lead to things souring.

So overall in general I think it's you who needs to choose where you belong without falling prey to the cake shop syndrome of 42.6. The cake shop syndrome is where one stands looking at various cakes wondering which will taste best and saying 'maybe I will have that one or maybe I will have that one' and meantime there are actual realities that need attention. This is where the cake analogy falls short, one doesn't need to consider the feelings of the cake ...but 42.6 can be way too self absorbed and then get a bit of a shock when other people's realities have to be taken into account.
 

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