Devastation and then some

[nykkic]

2013 starts bad for me obviously ... I was in a new relationship with a really nice man but he has so many problems in his life he got moody and depressed ... quite a mess ...so Tuesday we broke up after we had a big fight on Friday ... so actually since Friday it was all over .... he still keeps in touch and I am still sad so I asked the I Ching:

What are the chances that we will become a couple again and the Ging replied

37.3.6 > 3
now that actually sounds good but 3 causes me pain cos I think 3 stands for a new person in his life?? please help ..


also I asked "How will we be in the future and received

64.4 > 4


and how should I act /do if I want him back and I received

31.4 > 39


yes I asked a lot cos I am so full of pain and devastation ... please help me with these readings

thank you and lots of love

Nykki

 

[stadt]

Hello nykkic,

First of all I'm sorry you're going through a rough time.

Your readings are interesting, but I think you really need to take a step back and examine them carefully to see what the I Ching is communicating to you.

I tend to think that it is too early for you or the IC to actually see definite results of this whole situation. I don't know why line 3 of 37 is upsetting you so much.

I would interpret your hexagrams like this:

37 points to the family and the various relationships between human beings and to the substance of your words. Maybe line 3 is telling you that in your relationship you haven't set boundaries (you or the other person, not sure), so that things got out of control and there was some sort of humiliation or, on the contrary, that there's been too much severity (which is better than being too lax).

Line 6, is telling you that order depends on character. So if one of you or both of you haven't cultivated enough those aspects of the personality that bring out order in relationships that's what you need to look at right now. Hence hex 3, difficulty at the beginning.

Hexagram 64 points out to a time before completion. Perhaps this has to do with closure. I remember when I was going through a very rough time after a break up i consulted the IC and I got 64 (don't remember the change lines). Later that week my x called me and asked me to meet, it was a meeting of closure. After that I consulted again and received 63.
Again, your change line speaks of discipline, so I think you really really really need to look at what went out of hand ("the forces of decadence). This will probably require struggle on your end, but I see it as a favourable line. Hex 4 makes me think that this is a case of lessons to be learned, so through struggle you acquire discipline and you gain a valuable lesson through this whole situation. It is, in a way connected to your first reading.

Now, hexagram 31.4. Of course 31 speaks on relationships and wooing. Your line here says (probably) that you are "agitated in mind", you don't exactly know what to think as of yet. Another point of view is that this is pointing to his unstable situation. BUT, there is a very important thing in the explanation of the line, according to Wilhelm, which I think applies to you and your question:

Influence over others should not express itself
as a conscious and willed effort to manipulate them. Through practicing such
conscious incitement, one becomes wrought up and is exhausted by the
eternal stress and strain.

You shouldn't act out of character, because ultimately it will be pointless. I think what the reading is saying is that you need to calm down and accept the situation, then you will see the real obstacles (39), which you are going to have to overcome as indicated by the other two hexagrams you received.

I realise how hard this must be, but I think overall you need to look at the greater picture right now and understand where (if) you went wrong and where he did and then work on that.

 

[Greenkid]

Dear Nykkic
Have you read my message on your previous thread? Maybe you should. (Re surgery):bows:

 

[nykkic]

Stadt what you said feels so very right and hits the situation so well ... it is amazing .. i just don't know what to say .. I still hope that with our both right corrected behavior we will have an 2nd chance cos that is what i think the 6 in 37.6 is saying ... and what 64.4 is saying that after along fight we will be together again .. thank you so much ...!!!!





@ Meigga... no.. where is it my dear ??? can you give me a link please ???

 

[kkappa]

Dear Nykkic,

I'm sorry to hear of your heartache, but I am not one to sugarcoat anything, so if you have your own best interests in mind, you will not hate me for what I'll say.

You are misreading your casts. Nowhere does it say that there will be a reconciliation. In fact, it is all pointing to you getting your act together and realising that this is really for the best. Try and see the bigger picture - if this man has so many troubles, why do you think your existence alone will make those troubles magically disappear?

As per 64.4>4, it is pointing to the struggle within you. And if you look at fan yao (4.4) it describes someone who is wasting their time with empty imaginings. Stop right there. The Yi always speaks to you about you, so make your own conclusions here.

Getting over a relationship that had so much potential is painful, I think we've all been there, but don't hold on to someone who can't even keep their own **** together.

 

[gene]

Nykkic

First off, it is hard to tell from your question whether you were worried about line three or the resulting hexagram three. Either way it has nothing to do with another woman in his life. And while that is possible, I don’t see it based on the reading. Line three of hexagram 37 just lays bare the situation. You had a fight. Tempers flare up. But line six does hint at vague possibilities, depending on what you really want to do. When you think about this, get over the emotion, is this kind of fight what you really want? Is the situation going to change? You are going to have to consider those things.

Hexagram three merely describes the status of the relationship at the present time. All beginnings are difficult (as are relationships at all stages) and it takes time to sort out the data and see if this is what we really want or not.

Now, hexagram sixty four does show at least some promise. But you are going to have to decide whether the struggle is really worth it. The commentary says, “Now is the time of struggle. The transition must be completed." And this is surely a time of transition as you decide what is best for you and the relationship or if you really want the relationship. The commentary also says, “Now is the time to lay the foundation…” What you do now will determine your future.

Finally, hexagram thirty one line four once again lays bare the situation. First you are going to have decide if this is what you really want. If you do, then, as the line says, “perseverance brings good fortune.” But one must not allow him or her self to be agitated in mind. First, you are going to have to feel your own heart, and what is really right for you here. And if you decide this relationship truly is right for you, then you are going to have to focus on making the relationship work, and all the while have confidence that it will. For the commentary says, “When the quiet power of a person’s own character is at work, the effects produced are right. All those who are receptive to the vibrations of such a spirit will be influenced.” We must not try to force or manipulate the situation, we must merely allow it to grow as it normally should.

Gene

 

[nykkic]

Hi Gene ... oh my god I started crying when I read what you wrote for me .. you were so right on spot with everything .. also with me having to know and find out what I really want and where I really want to go ... cos right now I don't know anymore... I love him still but at the same time it's like I don't know if it would be good to be back with him .. it's a mess and it causes me much pain ....

and yes what scared me was the resulting hexagram 3 cos I thought it meant he has a new woman .. LINE 3 never scared me cos line 3 showed 100% what our relationship was/is and what happened before it ended .. and line 37.6 I thought meant that if I want to and do things right then we can be together again one day and have a 2nd chance.. but that now it is really HEXAGRAM 3 .. difficulties at the beginning


the same I thought about 64.4 .. that this relationship is a very hard way to go right now but that if I really want to go that way then in the end everything will be good with us ..



and 31.4 yes I guessed that is the mess in me .. and there is quite some mess in me cos of all this ..



god I'm really crying which is a good thing .. you opened my eyes a lot Gene !!! Thank you with all my heart !!!!