Difficult decision 51.2-54

[mholden1969]

Hello,

A couple weeks ago my beloved dog passed away. My mom and I live together and have pretty much been dealing with the loss without any help.
I wanted to stay here with her for the whole summer but my father wants me to spend a week with him in California to help him with a job.
I know he means well and my mom is ok with me going, but I really feel like this is the wrong choice as she will be all by herself for a week, and this loss is still very fresh.
I feel like I'm putting way too much stress on her.

These are my readings

What do I need to know about this trip
Hexagram 14.1.3.6-40

What do I need to know about my mom
Hexagram 8.6-20

What do I need to know about not going tomorrow
Hexagram 55.1-62

What is the "sacrifice" the iChing talks about
Hexagram 54

What do I need to know about myself and going on this trip
Hexagram 40.2-16

What do I need to know about my mom if I'm going tomorrow
Hexagram 35

What do I need to know about Hexagram 8.6
Hexagram 51.2-54

What is the danger you speak of
Hexagram 34.1.3.4.6

I should also mention I'm a college student off for the summer.

 

[Hujambo]

Hi,

I haven't looked at all the castings, so far in my very limited experience I have found the first one on a topic is usually the most informative, plus I am slow at this. Anyway, here's my 2-cents worth, hope it helps a little.

14.1.3.6>40 Seems to say it could be good for you to go on the trip.
In particular hex 40 is what has my attention, even though it's only the relating hexagram - it shows up in each two questions about going on the trip. I don't know where you are physically located in relation to California but if it is in the South-West, then Yi seems to be suggesting it's a good idea to go on the trip, without delay.

Thomas Cleary translation
40. Liberation (Solution)
For liberation, the southwest is beneficial.
When going nowhere, the return brings good fortune;
when going somewhere, promptness brings good fortune.

And from within the explanation of this hex... it's too long to post the whole thing.
"...one should hasten to set about fostering positive energy and suppressing negative energy. "

Richard Wilhelm
40. Deliverance.
The southwest furthers.
If there is no longer anything where one has to go, Return brings good fortune.
If there is still something where one has to go, Hastening brings good fortune.

Lise
40. Take the horns.
Proceeding without probing, one's coming and returning is auspicious
Proceeding probing, dawn is auspicious

Freedom is to be innocent.
Guilt is the most massive prison wall there is. It makes you do, think and be what others prescribe.
If you think yourself something should be done, then do it. If not, then don’t – and don’t let anyone point at you and make a feeling of guilt in you. And never do that yourself. Making guilt is a crime against life.
Stay free and leave free.

I respect and admire that you want to support your mother through this, but what about you? The grieving process is tough on everyone and can be quite draining on your energy levels. Perhaps a week's break working with your father may help to refresh your energy and help your healing process.(?) You can still talk with your mom when you are in California if she needs you, plus at the same help your dad. Having something to occupy your hands can do wonders in terms of stress relief. You will have to return to college at some stage and I assume there will be no opportunity to have this kind of "time out" again anytime soon.

I am sorry to hear you have experienced this loss and I feel for you in this situation. Worrying about this trip wouldn't be helping I suppose. Essentially it seems to me that Yi is saying it's up to you whether or not to take this trip and that it could be beneficial for you, if you do go. Maybe have a chat to both your mother and father and see what they think, I'm sure they will have your best interests in mind, or just go with what your heart says to do.

Best wishes to you

 

[butterfly spider]

Hello
In my limited experience with I Ching I think that you need to think carefully about the number of castings. Too many can muddy the water. I agree with Hujambo - the first casting is generally the one that I would take - then if you find it hard to interpretate ask again for clarification

My take on your casting 14.136 to 40 -

I would suggest that whilst the loss of your dog is sad for both you and your Mother - going away for a week is not the wrong thing to do. I get a sense of guilt perhaps of times when you have left your Mother before

Is there anyway that your Mother could go away for a week - whilst you were away. Being with friends may be a good idea

At the end of the day I think this reading tells you to do what YOU want to do - and to not feel guilty about it.
Then things will work out for the best
Your Mum will be fine - time is a great healer
I find that when I cannot make a decision - especially over actions - the resulting hex points me in the right direction. In this case it is 40. Imagine what hex 40 looks and feels like and then see if you get clues ...

 

[Tim K]

What do I need to know about this trip? 14.1.3.6 Great possession → 40 Liberation, Release

Wilhelm:
14.1. It is not an error to have no relations with what is harmful. If one remains aware of the difficulty, one remains without error.
Richmond:
That our own activity would create problems is evident, so evident that we are able to follow the tao and do not get involved with these difficulties.
Follow the circumstances, go along with your Dad. If you stay you are narrowing your reality, you are creating this evil/activity.

Wilhelm:
50.3. The handle of the caldron is changed. One is hindered in his ways. The fat of the pheasant is not eaten. When rain falls, remorse wears itself out: Finally there comes good fortune.
It will help clear your mind, although for a time you 'will not be available' for your Mom.

64.6. With true confidence one drinks wine. No error. If, however, one gets one's head wet, then one really loses it.
Richmond:
Confidence and over-confidence; in the first we trust providence and in the second we trust our heads.
Don't over think it, go along and enjoy.

What do I need to know about my mom? 8.6 Belonging, Holding together → 20 Observing
She is too attached to this dog, she doesn't accept the bigger picture. The dog has played his part and it was time for him to go, why be sad about it for so long? His soul had a wonderful experience in your family, and you had a lovely companion. Now this soul can progress and move to the next life form, maybe a human. All things change, accept it.

What do I need to know about Hexagram 8.6? 51.2 Shock → 54 Inferior position
Wilhelm:
You lose your treasures and must climb the nine hills.
Do not go in pursuit of them.
After seven days you will get them back again.


He must accept his loss of property without worrying too much about it. When the time of shock and
upheaval that has robbed him of his possessions has passed, he will get them back again without going in pursuit of them.
54: accept that you can't control everything, allow yourself to follow along.

What is the danger you speak of? 34.1.3.4.6 Invigorating power → 4 Childish folly
Daniels:
1. Flaunting your strength brings misfortune.
3. Use your intelligence and avoid physical force.
4. Use your (inner) strength to overcome obstacles.
6. Using force will create deadlock.
Don't be stubborn, let go of your emotions. Child can't be sad for long, he quickly finds something interesting again, forgetting about his troubles.

What do I need to know about not going tomorrow? 55.1 Abundance → 62 Small details
Wilhelm:
When a man meets his destined ruler, they can be together ten days, and it is not a mistake.
Going meets with recognition.
You should go! You think it's not in your best interests but you are wrong (62).

What is the "sacrifice" the iChing talks about? 54
54: accept that you can't control everything, allow yourself to follow along. Take a trip.

What do I need to know about myself and going on this trip? 40.2 Decision → 16 Enthusiasm
Richmond, 40: A new way leads out of insecurity and vacillation. Release from indecision.
...
This direction (arrow) ends the vacillation of choice which deprived us of identifying, in the same way a fox deprives man of his nourishment (three foxes because continual change of choice was the problem).
Decide already and go with Enthusiasm Release yourself from this state.

What do I need to know about my mom if I'm going tomorrow? 35 Progress, Advance
She will be ok. Gradually the emotions will fade away and many new directions will become available.

 

[mholden1969]

Thank you for all for the responses. I was able to read two of them before leaving for the trip and they made me feel much better about going.

The trip went well, my mom was lonely while I was gone but I kept in good touch with her and ultimately she was not as sad as I thought she was going to be.

Ashterioid, looking at some of the interpretations you gave make a lot of sense in retrospect.