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gael123

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Last week I suffered severe food poisoning which had me vomiting for 3 days and unable to really get out of bed without feeling sick. As a result, I was behind with some of my administrative tasks for my job, and I got out of bed on the fourth day knowing I had to teach that afternoon and had to mark essays beforehand. While working hard on the essays, I received an angry email from my manager, telling me that I had missed an important college meeting (I was so tired and disoriented, and working so urgently on the essays, that I forgot it). Despite the fact that this has never happened before, none of my students have ever given anything but good feedback on me, and I have received uniformly positive performance reviews, he called my whole competence and commitment into question. He insinuated strongly that I was not responsible, and he tried to suggest that because I handed back exam papers three days late this term - whereas my other colleagues were at least a week late, and I only did this because I marked them a second time based on student feedback after I organised a special discussion group to talk about the exam process. He also cc'd in my other colleagues to this email (two people, both on permanent contracts whereas I am on a temporary contract), thus making it seem that I had become 'problematic' in some way. I responded with apologies, conciliation and a certain degree of self-defence, explaining what had happened.

My workplace is quite a stressful place at the moment - we have had 3 students drop out and two or more are chronically absent but not quite enough to get thrown out. The meeting I missed exposed my manager to embarrassment in front of the head of the college, at a time when he is worried that the department is having problems. Actually, none of the problems are with the students I teach, who uniquely in the dept are doing very well. So I think he took out his general frustration on me, because I am the youngest colleague (even though I am not 20, but 34 years old), and on a temporary contract whereas the others are permanent. I am not exaggerating when I say this missed meeting is the first error I have made in 18 months' work at the college; the deadline for returning exams has always been treated as a matter of discretion at this workplace as long as you are within a few days of it either side. So that attack is out of the blue.

My manager is a nice guy but anxious with micromanaging tendencies. There are chronic tensions between him and his other colleagues which I am not part of.

I have to admit to being deeply angry and upset at this treatment. I am paid £12,000 p/a for this job and I feel that I do a good job as someone working essentially part-time. I also feel bullied and undermined.

I am going to raise this directly and politely with my manager. But I only have 1 year left on my contract anyway. Deep down I am hoping to leave the teaching profession at the end of that year and retrain as a psychotherapist while also working as a freelance writer on the side, but I may not be able to afford to do this unless I can secure another teaching job after this one.

Nonetheless, with only one year left on my contract, I am tempted to give my notice at the end of this academic year, in the summer. I realise this is only one incident but it indicates that in this workplace I am only one mistake away from being attacked and even undermined, whereas other colleagues, I have noticed, get away with much more precisely because they are in a less vulnerable situation. (In fact, I spent the end of last year practically doing the job of one of them, because they stopped responding to student emails and requests for help at exam time. Nobody ever thanked me, of course, because that would have involved acknowledging the problem.)

I have had many temporary teaching contracts and some instance of workplace bullying has always arisen when I have had them, or there has always been a two-tier system of standards for permanent and temporary staff, the latter of whom always seem to get exploited. I am wondering if as I get older I simply need to get away from these temporary jobs as soon as possible, since I am, finally, not seeking a tenured position, merely managing until I can afford to retrain by saving money from the other summer schools etc which my position at this university enables me to teach.

I am unsure what to do so I asked the IChing: Would it be a good idea for me to continue to work at my current place of employment next year? I received the answer: Hexagram 21, changing lines 5 and 6. Transformed hex is 17, following.

I am not sure whether I am being deaf to warnings by virtue of staying, or would be by virtue of going. The previous line, 5, speaks of not being to blame for the trouble one's actions [seem to] cause... but would perseverance here count as staying or leaving? I mean, is this about simply sticking it out for fear of something worse? I suppose that's the answer I don't want to see; but I would take it on board if that were the clear meaning. But 17, as I understand it, can mean moving towards change just as much as it can mean remaining in place.

So I asked the Yi again: What is it that I need to know about my work situation to avoid being deaf to warning, as in hexagram 21.6?

I received the answer: Hexagram 18, changing lines, 2, 3 and 6, changing to hexagram 2.

This seems to counsel moderation again. I am struck by DeKorne saying of line 2 that it can refer to moderation in dealing with another's instinctual behaviour, which to me would suggest my relationship with my boss. Or perhaps it refers to my own strong reaction to the email. Is it just wishful thinking in me that see line 6 as meaning serving goals I set myself, rather than my current management!?

Thank you very much indeed for any advice that you can offer on these readings.

G
 

Trojina

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I am unsure what to do so I asked the IChing: Would it be a good idea for me to continue to work at my current place of employment next year? I received the answer: Hexagram 21, changing lines 5 and 6. Transformed hex is 17, following.

I am not sure whether I am being deaf to warnings by virtue of staying, or would be by virtue of going. The previous line, 5, speaks of not being to blame for the trouble one's actions [seem to] cause... but would perseverance here count as staying or leaving? I mean, is this about simply sticking it out for fear of something worse? I suppose that's the answer I don't want to see; but I would take it on board if that were the clear meaning. But 17, as I understand it, can mean moving towards change just as much as it can mean remaining in place.

Perhaps what you are deaf to is your own rather over whelming evidence that you need to move on. You just wrote a case for why this work is no good for you then asked about continuing. Re read your 'case' out loud slowly or get someone to read it to you then you might think to yourself 'can she not hear in this that she doesn't want to go on !'

I agree there are other ways to take it, other factors, money for example, but that is what stands out to me. I have the feeling no one but you is really going to know how this applies because of multiple factors in the situation but you really have written a strong case for leaving in your above post so are you going to hear yourself ?

The other thing with 21.6 is alone it changes to 51, fan yao 51.6 and it can be shock that causes one not to hear out of panic. So maybe it is better to think about this more when this current storm has passed because the emotions it gives rise to may make you 'deaf'.

The 17 suggests there's a calling beyond all this to take a path that feels more naturally yours.

So I asked the Yi again: What is it that I need to know about my work situation to avoid being deaf to warning, as in hexagram 21.6?

I received the answer: Hexagram 18, changing lines, 2, 3 and 6, changing to hexagram 2.

You need to know you don't want to do the job. You need to print off your first post, take it to a mirror and read it loudly and slowly to yourself in order to hear it.

This seems to counsel moderation again. I am struck by DeKorne saying of line 2 that it can refer to moderation in dealing with another's instinctual behaviour, which to me would suggest my relationship with my boss. Or perhaps it refers to my own strong reaction to the email. Is it just wishful thinking in me that see line 6 as meaning serving goals I set myself, rather than my current management!?


Can't be wishful thinking as it's what it actually says. Again you sort of read the words, as you wrote your own words, but don't truly hear them. You need to know your work situation is a corrupting influence and you need to go beyond it. 18.2 can be care, softness and responsibility taken too far. I wonder if your care for your students also holds you in the job ? Lecturers who actually take the time to care about their student's work are seldom flavour of the month with managers who are basically only interested in their reputation and the next pay rise and ceased caring about actual education a long time ago. Yes I have worked as a temp contract lecturer ;)
 

Sixth Relative

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Would it be a good idea for me to continue to work at my current place of employment next year? I received the answer: Hexagram 21, changing lines 5 and 6. Transformed hex is 17, following.

Hi Gael

¿To cut this job (21) or to keep going along with it (17)? It would depend on whether you can find any real treasure in it (21.5) or you're just fooling around (21.6).

Now, if you look beyond the way you prhased your question, in hex 21 you have the Red Bird sitting in a wood line on a strong phase; since Read Bird is in line 2, which has Yin (wood) as earthy branch and it is strong in month Yin( February). That configuration points that the doubt to be answered has to do with arriving of quarrels. Could it be that what worries you about keeping your job one more year is the fear of quarrels, the fear to need to decide between defending yourself (21) or going along (17) with unfair treatment?

21zhi17 is not good for job position. Getting 21zhi17 on month Yin (february) is even worse; although there could be some aid (good fortune) in the short case, assuming that you got the answer on February 28, 2016.
The line representing yourself has Wei (earth) as earthly branch and Asset as relative. Wood from the month Yin destroys earth; therefore, both your inner peace and your economy would suffer if you stay in this job next year.
The spirit of focus when you ask for job is the relative Official. In 21, the Official has You (metal) as earthly branch. The month Yin is the adversary of metal. Therefore, your job position is weak, unstable, if not openly bad at least at constant jeopardy
The relation between self and spirit of focus is self producing the spirt of focus. That is investing too much to protect your position, at personal cost. This position diminish your vital energy.
The host line has Yin (wood) as earthly branch and Siblings (siblings/colleagues/competitors) as relative. Therefore, your workplace is highly competitive rather than cooperative [It is competitive rather than cooperative because your colleague's wood destroys your own earth.
The relative Parent represents your boss (or bosses). It is Zi (water) which produces Yin (siblings). This means that your boss favors your colleagues/competitors at your cost. Zi is a void branch (assuming you tossed the coins on February 28, 2016). That means your boss cannot favor you colleagues now, but it would do that latter.
The whole dinamic of changing lines shows: in order to produce (protect) your position, you need to confront and diminish your boss. You can have support from the relative Descendant (most probably from your students) but that would hurt your fame/good name with the administration. You could improve a bit your salary, but again only after confrontation with your boss.

It is not a good answer, to be honest. You may decide to stay, and improve a bit your actual situation; but at the cost of constant quarrel / confrontation. If you decide to go with this, then you need to be smart and in self control. Don't bite fiercely or you would hurt your teeth with the stubborn metal (line 5), learn the polite way to gain the arrow with soft and cautious bites.

Now... maybe it would be a good idea to ask about the option B (to give notice this summer). Because sometimes even if the answer is not good, option b is even worse. So, it is wise to look at both sides of the coin ;)

Wish you all the best
 
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Sixth Relative

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Oh, boy. I just noticed that you posted on February 27, so assuming February 28 as the date of casting is totally wrong. Please dont pay attention to anything I said under that wrong assumption.
 
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gael123

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Thank you both very much. I want to think about all your comments when I am feeling a bit less upset. I am hugely angry and anxious about this.

I followed your advice, SR, and cast two more hexagrams.

1. What could I expect if I stayed at my workplace?

Hexagram 57, line 6, changing to 48

2. What could I expect if I left at the end of this year?

Hexagram 36, line 5, changing to 63

They both seem pretty depressing tbh. The second one describes perfectly how I feel NOW, funnily enough.
 

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