Difficulty with friends - 34.4.5.6>9

[dancing flame]

Hi,

Seems I'm asking lots of relationship questions at the moment. This one's about relationships with friends.

I've got lots of issues about getting commitment from friends and constantly being let down. Its been going on for quite a while now. There've been so many situations where I've arranged get together's with friends, tried to meet up and it never happens. One friend, we talk all the time on the phone but she never makes an effort to meet with me, even just for coffee. There's always an excuse why she can't make it yet I know she'll spend time with others.

Other friends always cancel at the last minute when I arrange things yet they'll show up at the drop of a hat a for other people. I put myself out for them, go to their things but they won't give me the same loyalty and commitment.

I could go on and on about how many times I've been let down by friends over the last few years, yet its not always been this way. I'm a very outgoing person, very sociable and people usually like me, so I don't know why this is happening. I sometimes feel lacking in power and influence where others are concerned and deep down feel hurt by it.

I asked Yi, 'why this difficulty getting commitment from friends? It answered 34.4.5.6>9

I also did the steps of change for 34 and got 11, 43 and 14.

This feels very positive and suggests that things are changing but some insight from you would be great. And I'm still not clear that it answers the question of why this has been happening to me.

Many thanks

 

[willowfox]

'why this difficulty getting commitment from friends? It answered 34.4.5.6>9

The lines suggest that it is you and your attitude/behaviour that is causing your friends to avoid you, they perceive you as being pushy, belligerent and obstinate and the more you try to get together with them, the more that they back away from you, as you are now appearing angry and aggressive in the way that you talk to them.

Now the advice given by the lines and Hex 9 is to back off yourself, be patient, wait it out and just stop struggling with this, leave them be, as you need to take time out and calm yourself down. Your last answer already told you that your luck is not in at the moment, you are like an outcast in the social scene and as you say, you have been for a while now but don't worry as your time is coming again.

 

[my_key]

'why this difficulty getting commitment from friends? It answered 34.4.5.6>9

Hi DF
This looks to be a frustrating time that you find yourself in now with all these relationship issues coming up at you.
34 - Power of the great -
You have done a great job in your life getting to where you are now. However, some of the things you are now experiencing could be as a result of unintentional over use of power. A balancing of how you behave will restore harmony and bring things back to a position where you will feel more comfortable.
34.4 - Don't try so hard. Less is more.
34.5 - Show your vulnerability a bit more and don't worry if, when you do, things don't work out just how you want them to. Acting in this way will make things a bit easier for everybody.
34.6 - Sometimes we have to learn things the hard way , but if we spot what is happening and can change how we act before it all goes too far then everything will come up smelling of roses.

9 - Power of the small
Your feelings of isolation at the moment are the clouds with the potential silver lining. Think carefully about what is going on. Be aware of how you can adapt in small ways to what you are experiencing. . This will slowly lead to a better situation for you. A small change of heart can bring huge improvements in external relationships. Softly Softly catchee monkey.

Take care

Mike

( PS I just spotted Willow Fox's reply - we are not too far apart in the overall sentiments of the Yi response)

 

[dancing flame]

Thanks, really useful feedback although I think a lot of my issues are to do with people being unreliable and not showing up when they say they will rather than me behaving badly. Its made me think about what I want from friendship and reliability and respect are the most important things for me.

Interestingly, I've been making new friends in the last few weeks, who are a lot of fun and seem to have time for me. Looking at things more clearly, I feel I've been going through a transition with a clearing out of the old and bringing in of new energy.

Thanks again