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dislike hex 14 un

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goddessliss

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I don't like my landlord very much. He's nice enough but I just don't like some of his morals and ideals and he wants us to have a friendship(nothing intimate) rather than just be on friendly terms but I don't want that.

Show me how to handle my dislike of the landlord so that things remain amicable.

Hex 14 unchanging

I'm not really understanding the answer.

Liss
 

lysithea

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Hi!
Was lurking around and thought I should pitch in.
From Blofeld: The Superior Man suppresses those who are evil and upholds the virtuous. Most gladly he accords with heaven and carries out its commands.
So I guess basically I think it is telling you to keep doing what you've been doing, meaning keeping your distance, especially considering how you are describing him. You already have greatness within you and this person just doesn't add anything of value to your life.
 

Liselle

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Oh fiddle. This is the problem with unchanging hexagrams, for me anyway - I have no idea how to take them. 14uc in a case like this could probably mean anything from "your landlord will turn out to be a great treasure to you" (in some way you don't know about yet, presumably) or "keep things on a purely financial basis" (if you pay your rent promptly, it helps with the amicability and keeps you in a strong position with him).

Maybe this is one of those readings where all you can do is keep it in mind and keep alert for 14-ish things?
 

ginnie

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R.L. Wing says, of 14 UC, that it means sticking to your principles very firmly. He mentions "clarity of mind" and "strength of character" helping you to keep your integrity through this time.

I would try to keep my mind on the larger picture and also try not to get dragged down by feelings of antipathy, when he probably behaves the same way with everyone. In other words, take him with a grain of salt and don't take him personally.
 

rodaki

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14 un could be saying to be 'large' with him, perhaps more generous -for use of a better word- with your differences . . you didn't get anything alarming as per 36 and there might be something to 'gain' here by taking the high road.That doesn't mean to give up on your ideas/ideals, just make leeway for others to keep theirs and still be courteous to one another
 
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taoscopy

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Show me how to handle my dislike of the landlord so that things remain amicable.

That's really an interesting reading!

14 - Meeting the demands

Addressing the needs if the means are available.

What do you think? What are the means?

I thought it was trust because you would only accept requests from your landlord when you can trust him. That way you would feel comfortable.

You can confirm or invalidate my interpretation by asking Yi the follow-up question: what are the means?
 

Tim K

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14 is an opposite of 8, being passive and observing the potential feelings.
I see an image of sitting in a tower without door, looking through a window.

So yeah, just keep it to yourself, be polite and patient.
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks everyone who's helped me here. It sounds like the general consensus is to maintain the way I'm doing things and to not make a big deal about my feelings towards him.
Sometimes it's difficult because I like to be upfront about people's behaviour towards me but I feel that I can't say too much hence he suggests I move on.
The things that get me annoyed are his is a consistent, persistent white lies which in itself isn't any big deal but I just don't like dishonesty. Sure we all tell a white lie now and then but as I said he's persistently telling them almost on a daily basis.
He also seems himself as an amateur psychologist and says things to try and push your buttons. As ginnie pointed out he's like that towards most I've seen him with but I find it very rude and demeaning trying to trip people up.
Our street is very neighbourly so get together almost fortnightly for a few drinks for a couple of hours which is nice but I would rather not be socialising with him.
I wonder if I sound petty!! Many people don't understand that I like to keep myself to myself and only socialise/maintain friendships with very few as I don't like spending my time in boring situations or with people I have little in common or much to say to them. I would rather watch the sunset on my own with a glass of wine on my front verandah. That's bliss to me.
Perhaps I'm stuck up but for many years my life was all about everybody else and me meeting their needs and now I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it with whom I choose to be with.

Liss
 
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goddessliss

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Show me how to handle my dislike of the landlord so that things remain amicable.

That's really an interesting reading!


taoscopy I don't really understand what means, means?
What do you think? What are the means?

I thought it was trust because you would only accept requests from your landlord when you can trust him. That way you would feel comfortable.

You can confirm or invalidate my interpretation by asking Yi the follow-up question: what are the means?

taoscopy I don't really know what means, means in this instance :confused:
 

wind

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You mentioned in the first post that you don't particularly care for his morals or ideals. Any time I have gotten 14uc, it always meant to offer forgiveness like it's going out of style. Perhaps you need to pardon his standards to get to know him on a more friendly basis???

Ugh. I know how you feel. I like to come home, peel off my shoes and just be in my home- away from everyone and everything. Nothing worse than getting into that comfort zone to have the phone ringing or someone knocking at the door. Doesn't make you antisocial... You're just someone that's happy enjoying your peaceful down time.
 
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taoscopy

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taoscopy I don't really know what means, means in this instance :confused:

Me neither, that's why I suggest that you ask the Yi:

"What are the means?"

However, I thought that if you read it as "trust", the answer would be: addressing the needs when the trust is available.

Which would mean that you should accept requests from your landlord only when you feel comfortable with them.
 

rodaki

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you don't sound petty Liss, not at all, it's just that yi's asnwer looks like it's asking you to stretch your levels of comfort . . Not sure why we're asked to go down that road sometimes, I guess we need to trust more that things will be ok even if we go against our personal grain . . or maybe just the way it is
 
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sooo

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Show me how to handle my dislike of the landlord so that things remain amicable.

Hex 14 unchanging

You "handle" your dislike for him and himself as well by employing your best assets. Restrain the low, release the high. If he holds to his low, he'll not want to be around the light and will go hide somewhere in the dark. But he may be influenced by your light. Just let your inner light shine and heaven will handle the rest.
 
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goddessliss

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You "handle" your dislike for him and himself as well by employing your best assets. Restrain the low, release the high. If he holds to his low, he'll not want to be around the light and will go hide somewhere in the dark. But he may be influenced by your light. Just let your inner light shine and heaven will handle the rest.

Thanks sooo this makes a lot of sense to me particularly as it's relative to other relationships I'm struggling to be patient with at present.
I've met a number of new people since moving here, besides rekindling old friendships. The new ones don't seem to get boundaries or that I like to be independent. Although they're lovely people who mean well I find them frustrating at times.
 
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goddessliss

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you don't sound petty Liss, not at all, it's just that yi's asnwer looks like it's asking you to stretch your levels of comfort . . Not sure why we're asked to go down that road sometimes, I guess we need to trust more that things will be ok even if we go against our personal grain . . or maybe just the way it is

Thanks rodaki, yes I need to find a way to move on from my frustrations which would mean moving out of my comfort zone for sure.
 
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goddessliss

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Me neither, that's why I suggest that you ask the Yi:

"What are the means?"

However, I thought that if you read it as "trust", the answer would be: addressing the needs when the trust is available.

Which would mean that you should accept requests from your landlord only when you feel comfortable with them.

Thanks taoscopy, he doesn't so much request things from me rather he wants more from me than I'm prepared to give in terms of friendship and he does make it difficult by being such a consistent white liar and wanting to 'push my buttons'. Those things in themselves make it difficult to trust that I can just talk or do things without him analysing me, not that that bothers me but who wants to be around someone with that sort of negativity in their makeup.
The more I don't respond to his 'button pushing' the more he wants to find a way to do it. Frustrating!!
 

ginnie

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The more I don't respond to his 'button pushing' the more he wants to find a way to do it. Frustrating!!

Quite possibly this perception is in your imagination . . . That is, it seems like that's happening, but it really isn't. The people who are really good at pushing our buttons are our own family members. He's just someone you met not so long ago, and I'm hoping he'll just give up on trying to push your buttons, when he discovers that it's not so easy. He does sound manipulative and annoying. Isn't there a way to just avoid him most of the time? I'm sorry you're having this difficulty, as it sounded like the housing was satisfactory in other ways. :)
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks wind - yes you're probably right I just need to overlook his behaviour with patience.
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks ginnie - yes it's a great place to live which is why I want to get over myself and learn to ignore his behaviour. I don't see him everyday but in reality we are sharing the same outside space so he suddenly appears or sometimes watches me out of the window. I don't think he's being creepy just seeing what I'm doing in the garden as it's a shared space. He's a retired horticulturist who uses chemicals and I'm studying horticulture at college but prefer natural and organic ways so sometimes he can be a bit smartarsey!! Anyway as I said I just need to learn to ignore him and let it wash over me.
 
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sooo

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I think some our intended allies have some very annoying traits. One such ally of mine never lets me finish a sentence without immediately making it about his life or views. He reminds me to be a better listener and to let the other complete their point to me before interjection my views or experience on the subject or changing the subject altogether. It's an ongoing thing, and many times I say nothing even when I have something relevant to say. But in the end, I realize everyone is better off that way. When I've asked Yi about the best way to deal with it, I receive a form of 37 as the primary hexagram - smoke and heat rising upward, the effect of fire. But I admit, it's still annoying. No one is perfect. I think we grow less tolerant as we grow older, small things can become bigger things to us, even unbearable at times. Things go better when I just listen, even when my original point is either never expressed or is debated with his superior knowledge of the matter. I assume it's a lesson for me to learn, as when I'm honest, I recognize the tendency in myself. He is my waking shadow.
 

rosada

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14. Possession in great measure is about a king who doesn't flaunt his power and takes good care of the underlings. I think the IC is reminding you that you are the king here, you are the one who hands out the money every month. You have hired this man to be your landlord. He is your employee. He works for you. View his white lies as character flaws that are none of your worry as long as they don't interfere with his doing the job you hired him to do. View his attempts to be personal friends like a teacher might view a child trying to be teacher's pet - understandable but an inappropriate way of trying to avoid doing the actual homework. And speaking of homework, are there any chores you could assign him? He may back off if every time he starts a conversation you ask him to fix something. ;)
 
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goddessliss

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Agreed sooo always good to look at our accountability, which is what I'm trying to do here. I do wonder why his behaviour gets to me so much.
 
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goddessliss

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Haha rosada but an excellent way of looking at it. Thank you!!


Thanks to everyone who is commenting here. There's so much I don't know how to deal with in life but especially relationships. My relationships with my parents was crap to say the least and I've never been in a healthy intimate relationship because I never learned what a healthy relationship is.
Whilst this one with landlord is not an intimate one I still feel I've a lot to learn about myself re relationships.
 

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