Divorce

[firefly]

Howdy -

I'm new here. I have been using the I Ching off and on for years, but don't really know the ins and outs of real interpretation. I generally use it to give me a feeling for a situation and stick to the initial hexagram because I don't know how to really interpret the moving lines and the resultant second hexagram.

Question I asked: Is getting a divorce (now) the good decision for my husband and me?

A little history...this question has been around for awhile and I ask it every few months, getting a different reply each time (although 23 comes up a lot). We have a difficult time communicating (actually talking) about important stuff and I feel like my life is stagnating (he does too I'm sure). So we go to therapy with little luck and I ask the I Ching periodically for direction.

The answer was 59 with a moving line in 6 to make 29. (I don't know how to represent moving lines 59.6?)

59. Huan / Dispersion (Dissolution)
29. K'an / The Abysmal (Water)

It seems that 59 implies that it is perhaps a good idea to broach the subject now - divorce/dispersion - but I'm a little confused about the moving line and hexagram 29. I don't really know how to interpret the moving line and new hexagrams well. I don't really know what they stand for.

Any insight would be helpful.

Thanks!

 

[dobro p]

59 is about dispersing something, breaking it up, scattering it to the four winds (it's the flipside of 60, which is all about maintaining firm limits and boundaries and discipline). So it's an appropriate image for divorce. So you ask the Yi 'what about divorce?' and the Yi says to you: 'Well, the issue here is one of breaking up and leaving a harmful situation far behind you, and you're completely without error or blame in doing so.'

Seems plain enough to me.

 

[willowfox]

Is getting a divorce (now) the good decision for my husband and me?

This says yes it is, it is time to realize that it is over for the both of you, so divorce is the right path to follow now.

 

[firefly]

Thanks for the responses. That is sort of what I thought. I feel that it is time to do this, but following through with actions is the more difficult part - for me at least.

Any thoughts on how to interpret the second hexagram - 29?

Thanks again.

 

[Trojina]

Thanks for the responses. That is sort of what I thought. I feel that it is time to do this, but following through with actions is the more difficult part - for me at least.

Any thoughts on how to interpret the second hexagram - 29?

Thanks again.

Read it like a sentence "dispersing (59) the danger (29) which is pretty much what 59.6 gives you. When only one line moves thats the most important thing IMO so no need to get hung up on the relatinghexagram that much - but its worth looking at the fan yao 29.6 as a kind of mirror image of 59.6. In 29.6 one is trapped and can't get out, in 59.6 one can get out - so whatever you feels threatens you - get out

Of course you have to be honest about where the pain is in this situation cos thats what 59.6 is advising you to get clear of. If secretly you didn't want a divorce it could be telling you to drop that idea. You have to think for yourself where the source of discomfort and pain lies now - wherever that is that is what you need to leave and not get stuck ther

 

[maremaria]

Question I asked: Is getting a divorce (now) the good decision for my husband and me?

....... So we go to therapy with little luck and I ask the I Ching periodically for direction.

The answer was 59 with a moving line in 6 to make 29.

Hi Firefly,

Hope I'll not add more to your confusion, but I wonder is Yi says something about the "therapy" which imo is a very 59 and 29 situation.
Just a thought...

Maria

 

[meng]

I'd say the time may favor dissolving the marriage, if that's really what you wish to do. I would not read it as saying it's what you should do. Obedience (to Yi) isn't the objective, understanding is. In this regard, perhaps Maria has a point. 59 dissolves divisions, as Dobro pointed out with his 60 comment. It can also mean "lightening up" or "loosening up". Maybe the marriage would in fact be best off if dissolved, or maybe you both just need to chill out. Bradford has in line 6: Dispersing ones hot-bloodedness.

 

[firefly]

Hello there -

Thank you everyone for the input...

... I would not read it as saying it's what you should do. Obedience (to Yi) isn't the objective, understanding is. ...

This is very true and when I look into the response, I use the it as a way to direct my thinking about a situation rather than an absolute. It sort of gives me permission (so to speak) to think about something in a manner that I perhaps haven't thought of or haven't been brave enough to contemplate.

Hi Firefly,

Hope I'll not add more to your confusion, but I wonder is Yi says something about the "therapy" which imo is a very 59 and 29 situation.
Just a thought...

Maria

I'm not sure I understand the connection between the therapy and the question. Could you please elaborate if you have a chance?

This is all very helpful - it is good to see the different interpretations and use them to think about my situation.

 

[maremaria]

Its mostly what Meng said , in a more clear way

59 dissolves divisions, as Dobro pointed out with his 60 comment. It can also mean "lightening up" or "loosening up". Maybe the marriage would in fact be best off if dissolved, or maybe you both just need to chill out. Bradford has in line 6: Dispersing ones hot-bloodedness.

What I said , just popped up… out of nowhere (? ). Being in a therapy to me looks like 59 . We let the river of feelings, convictions etc to expand and then the river itself will find the way to the sea

Its like what you said too.

It sort of gives me permission (so to speak) to think about something in a manner that I perhaps haven't thought of or haven't been brave enough to contemplate.

.

 

[firefly]

Ahh - thanks for the insight.

I will always have lots to learn both about my relationship (no matter what happens) and the I Ching.

Thanks again everyone.