Does he love me? Will he make me happy? 61.1 to 59 - is it good?

[Hanna_]

Dear all! Ask for your help and support.1. SITUATION. Long and distant relationship with a man. Very strong emotional connection (at the beginning - hex 55 unchang.). I am married and stay with husband for the sake of son. At last I and that man decided that I will divorce as soon as we meet and arrange everything (62.2 to 32). But he became ill - heavily (51.2.5 to 38). He tried to "put me back into my family". Now he is recovering. He said that we may meet when he will be well. I am still married, being afraid to become a single mother (24.3.4 to 55), though am going to divorce as soon as he will call for me. But I feel that we both are tired, that something is not as earlier. 2. QUESTION. "Does he still love me and will he make me happy?" 3. REPLY. 61.1 to 59.My first perception - be faithful and consistent (61.1) and obstacles that divide us now will disappear. Am I right? I will be grateful for your comments!!! https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/images/smilies/zen2.gif

 

[moss elk]

Have you ever met this man?
(internet and phone do not count as a yes)

The reading has the specific counsel not to presume anything here.

 

[Hanna_]

I understand that it sounds crazy, but - no. We have common friends, they "connect" us. And it's really very strong connection, including reading thoughts of each other.

 

[Liselle]

Hello Hanna

May I/we ask a favor? When you mention a reading, could you also write down the question you asked, in the exact words? Of course it's a good idea to use placeholders for personal information, for instance someone's real name could be 'X', the name of a city could be '<city>' and so forth.

For instance, when you said this:

I am still married, being afraid to become a single mother (24.3.4 to 55), though am going to divorce as soon as he will call for me

- it's hard, for me at least, to tell whether your question was about your fears of single-motherhood, or if that's your interpretation of your reading.

 

[Liselle]

(Should add the disclaimer that this won't guarantee useful ideas about your readings, especially from me...)

 

[diamanda]

Hannah, what does marriage mean to you? You started a long distance affair while you're still married. Now you want to divorce, and marry this new someone that you never met, because there's a 'connection'. Plus, this new someone has already started calling in sick. I'm sorry but I don't think that you need divination. Divination in such a case will only misguide you further.

 

[Hanna_]

Thank you for the reply, Liselle. I think I really shouldn't confuse anybody with information about previous divination. The question for now, for this chat: Does he still love me and will he make me happy? ANSWER was: 61.1 - 59.

 

[Hanna_]

Thank you for reply Diamand. The marriage for me now - is the opportunity for my son to have enough attention, to have a supportive man near him etc. No marry before meeting, sure. Still am not so crazy. Divination for me is the attempts to understand whether my intuition works correctly, whether I spend my energy towards right direction (that man). My questions about "Will it good for me to end this connection?" got negative answers (23; 12).

 

[Liselle]

Thank you for the reply, Liselle. I think I really shouldn't confuse anybody with information about previous divination. The question for now, for this chat: Does he still love me and will he make me happy? ANSWER was: 61.1 - 59.

Once in a while in my own readings with 61.1 I've thought Yi meant I'd already gotten my answer in previous readings, and asking more questions won't help.

That's not all it can mean, of course, for example Moss Elk had another idea.

 

[Hanna_]

Thank you, Moss Elk! Will it be correct to interpret 59 as destroying obstacles? As a result of "pondering carefully"?

 

[Hanna_]

Thank you for the reading, Lisella! I posted reply, but don't see here. may be it will repeated. Pardon for that. This reading makes sens as I asked similar questions earlier, may be oftener than necessary, but hexagram 59 what can it says here: is it about throwing away obstacles (good for relationship) or about disintegration (bad for relationship)?

 

[rosada]

Does he still love you? Will he make you happy?
I think 61.1 is a warning there are "secret designs" that disrupt a true inner connection with your friend. Could this mean your friend may not be as confident in your relationship as he appears and may be secretly holding back full commitment?
59. Disperstion seems to be saying that some lack of openness could doom your happiness and cause the relationship to disperse.
I think this reading is cautioning you to be aware there are serious doubts and uncertainties on his part and not to assume too much.

 

[rosada]

Just read your post. Does 59 mean dissolving obstacles or dissolving the relationship? I think as your question was about his feelings for you and your chances of future happiness together this answer is pointing to the need for more clarity between the two of you. You haven't met in person yet and that may give you a much clearer sense as to his true feelings and whether he even wants this friendship to lead to marriage.
Your first question about the relationship gave you hexagram 55 uc which can indicate something has reached it's peak and goes no further.

 

[moss elk]

Thank you, Moss Elk! Will it be correct to interpret 59 as destroying obstacles? As a result of "pondering carefully"?

I do not think so.
Inside (61) you have the seeds of hope/readiness about a better relationship.
And you are in a state of Scattering (59) those seeds from inside you so that they may take root and grow.
The line counsels that while you may be hopefully throwing those seeds out,
Do not presume that they will take root and grow here. This line feels like a gentle talk to me, "yes, it's good that you are feeling ready...but... don't presume that this particular thing will necessarily work out."

It is important to think about the fact that the man was pushing you away when he encouraged you to stick where you are.

 

[Hanna_]

Dear Moss Elk, thank you for the GENTLE warning. He has serious disease and serious reasons to think that he will not be able to take responsibility for me and my son. But yes, good expectations are not necessary to become reality, though I assumed that 59 is more optimistic. Will hope for better and don't exclude the worse. Doubts stay doubts. Thank you, all for reasonable comments.

 

[Freedda]

Hanna,

61 is suggesting that you need to find an inner truth, and equally important that you have integrity towards this situation. There might be 'rewards' or even a transformation - but only if you persist in finding inner truth and integrity.

My 'truth' about your situation is that you are not being honest with your husband, that you are not showing much integrity towards your son in dragging him along - and using him as an excuse - for your rather childish, romantic notion that a man you've never met is going to save you - provided you divorce first, that you actually meet him first, and that he actually shows up, instead of calling in sick.

I can't really see the truth or integrity in that situation - but then again, this is not my reading but yours. So, where is your innter truth and integrity in all this?

This line suggests that finding inner truth is a good way to prepare for this situation, but it only says this is 'promising,' and not that things will actually work out. So, there is no guarantees here.

The related hexagram, 59, scattering, or untying, suggests that we have to get our of our own abyss or canyon - perhpas out of our own lies and deceptions - to get a broader view - or multiple views - as the best way to approach the situation. To be guided by our dishonesty, desires and childish fantasies might not be the best 'view' to see this situation from.

Since you seem pretty sure of yourself about embarking on this fool's errand, I'm not sure what getting a broader view might mean for you. Maybe a 'broader' view might mean seeing in a way that's a whole lot more real and honest than you are now: are you being honest with your husband? And would you want your mate - even a future mate - to be dishonest with me in the same way? Is it really fair to drag your son along with you - and have his future be determined by a man you have never even met?

But again, those are only my suggestions. How much you are honest and how you see things with integrity is up to you.

 

[Hanna_]

Dear Freeda! Thank you for your deep honesty because in your comment I can see clearly what is the meaning of I Ching lines and what is your point of view. You distinguish these two things. That's precious. There is something to think about in your words sure. Something justice also. Though I didn't tell all details here. I can only cite the words of novel "Anna Karenina" by Lev Tolstoj: "I wish you never understood me because to understand means to go through it by yourself. I can't wish you did it".

 

[Freedda]

Hanna, I will say - and this is from me, not the Yi - if the 'thing' I don't know about is an abusive relationship (just a wild guess on my part), than I suggest that you do not hesitate to get out of it, even if means you are a single mother for a while (which is far from the worst thing in the world to be). And regardless of the specifics, you might be setting yourself up for more of the same if you are waiting around for another man to save you.