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End of a frienship ?

M

maremaria

Guest
Hi to everyone,
I have two good friends (a man and a woman) and in the past we had a very close relationship. I think that now something has change and we have lost each other. I told them, and they answered that nothing has change but I feel that this is not true.
They are good people and I love them. They have helped me in the past but since I start seen a psychotherapist and enter to the group I’ve the feeling that they have distanced me and I really don’t know why. Last year they get married but I think this is irrelevant with the situation. So I asked :

What should I know about this relationship? “
I got 25.1.4.5.> 23

Here is an interpretation. I’m not sure about the rightness

25.1 :my belief is that my friends have a lot of people near them to take care. The last time we meet I perceived that they are tired with this situation ( taking care of all those people).They know that I can show some understanding so they might believe that neglecting me is not a problem . Is line 1 says that my hypothesis is right ?
25.4. Am I thinking of give up trying to be in touch with them. What does line 4 says to me ? that the feelings are there and I don’t have to worry about losing two good friends and wait the difficult times to pass ? since I really love them and care about don’t let my feeling of anger or disappointment guide me and do what my heart says?

25.6 “ use no medicine in an illness”…… “ it will pass of itself”
do nothing ?.Just wait and it will pass ?

23 : that is all about “the correct path” will the thing be as used to be or is about the end of the relationship that it is not clear at the moment and in the future all the illusions will disappear and then all the part of this relation will see the truth . that it is over ?


I really need your help here. Any ideas?
If I am in the wrong path correct me !!!!
Thanks
maria
 
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soshin

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25,1,4,5 to 23

Dear Maria,

Dont give up hope.

This has more to do with you than with them. The good thing about that is, you can change your self, your behavior, you cant change them. In the Karcher treanslation which I mostly use, the stress on 25 lies on disentangling yourself from negative emotions, thoughts, action, and so on. Continually correcting yourself you can begin a period of growth.

None of the three moving lines show any hopless situation, quite in the contrary. The first line could show, although communication may be somewhat blocked, that to go on with your inner change would yield positive results, both for you and for your relationship with them.
The fourth line in this context could mean: Go on like this, you are going a good way (psychotherapy, group, etc.)
And five: Use no medicine. Could mean, dont take outer means to solve the problem with your friends. It will clear up of itself.

As I mostly interprete the relating hexagrams in terms of the surroundings of the given situation, 23 seems to say something like: You (and your friends) arre truly in a state of new-orientation, very much to the roots or yourself and themselves.

The old relationship, which got outmoded lately, is on the verge to change, my guess is: into a better one. Although you seemed to enjoy the friendship as it was my guess is that it was worn out in the way it was.

So to change the relationship with your friends (as they changed their relationship with their marriage) to the better may not be that easy, but seems to be neccessary.

Groups and Psychotherapy means change for oneself, perhaps they also feel that you are looking more and more effectively after yourself, so they dont need to care for you so much anymore. But dont think this is a setback.

:)

Yours,

Soshin
 
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soshin

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P.S.:

I read your former exchanges with LiSe, rosada, and the others.

Saying goodbye to an unhealthy relationship (as the "triangle" between rosada, her friend and the husband was in a certain way, no pun intended, rosada, you know what I mean)

often gives way to the outbreak of the real, deeper relationship. Something like the rosadas 14, Possessions in great measure moment.

One can live for such moments like that. Believe me! And it is worth every moment of suffering. But the best thing is: Suffering is not neccessary.

:) :bows: :)

Good to have you here!

Soshin
 
B

bruce_g

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Hi Maria,

This reading moves in the same general direction as your 2.2 reading. I'm thinking that it is the origin of these issues which the Yi is speaking to, more than the outcroppings from the origin.

I'll further speculate that what is to be stripped in 23 is in worrying what others think of you. It's a completely human thing to do, to worry about such things, but it is something which we must rid ourselves of, so that we can attain our original state of 25.

2.2 and 25 have no intentions or motives. This isn't always an easy place to arrive at. We must lose our worry and our suspicion. Our own preoccupation with such things is what prevents us from relaxing in who we naturally are.
 
J

jimnammack

Guest
Maria:

Apparently, you are using the Wilhelm translation.

Hexagram 25 of that translation describes a harmonious situation, but inherent in that situation is unexpected misfortune.

The first moving line indicates that your friendship with these people continues on for a while in a positive manner.

Moving line 4 speaks of persevering, which means that your relationship with this couple will seem increasing unsatisfactory to you, but you will persevere with it nevertheless. This moving line may even mean that you are able to temporarily turn things around between you and your friends.

The fifth moving line, however, says not to use medicine in an illness. This means that your relationship with your friends will eventually deteriorate to such a condition that you should no longer try to remedy it. You should go with the flow, and let things take their natural course. If, for example, this couple ceases initiating communications with you altogether, you should not go chasing after them.

Hexagram 23, of course, foretells the end of the relationship.

Sorry. There is nothing in this reading to indicate that you have done anything wrong, so I hope you do not blame yourself for it.
 
M

maremaria

Guest
Hi Soshin,
I know that I;m not the same person I was a year ago so it is invetable that during this period of transformation many things wiil change, some people may leave or I may leave some relationships.
It's hard to say goodbye to people but I know that sometimes is necessary.
If I understand what you wrote me, is that the IC tells me to work on one very important relationship between "me" and "myself"
Thanks for your insigth.
Glad to be here with you and the others :hug:

maria
 
M

maremaria

Guest
Hi Bruce,
I was thinking about 2.2 too!
acting without acting.
You are rigth that i;m worried about others think of me seeing doing nothing. I think it is my rigth to "do nothing" but I'm not confintend enough . What Lise said was a relief to me.
once again thanks for your help

maria
 
M

maremaria

Guest
Maria:

Apparently, you are using the Wilhelm translation.

.........................................................


Hexagram 23, of course, foretells the end of the relationship.
............................................................................
Sorry. There is nothing in this reading to indicate that you have done anything wrong, so I hope you do not blame yourself for it.

Hi jimnammack,
yes I'm using the wilhelm translation but I consinder also some others translations too.

Im not sure that 23 says cut the tree but prune. Is it the same? I think not.

p.s. I''m new to IC and maybe I am wrong , so any help I get from all of you is wellcome

maria
 

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